IS EACH ONE TO BE JUDGED IN THE END?
page 38, paragraph 3
IS EACH ONE TO BE JUDGED IN THE END?
IS EACH ONE TO BE JUDGED IN THE END?
3. You who are sometimes sad and sometimes angry; who sometimes feel your just due is not given you, and your best efforts meet with lack of appreciation and even contempt; give up these foolish thoughts! ²They are too small and meaningless to occupy your holy mind an instant longer. ³God’s Judgment waits for you to set you free. ⁴What can the world hold out to you, regardless of your judgments on its gifts, that you would rather have? ⁵You will be judged, and judged in fairness and in honesty. ⁶There is no deceit in God. ⁷His promises are sure. ⁸Only remember that. ⁹His promises have guaranteed His Judgment, and His alone, will be accepted in the end. ¹⁰It is your function to make that end be soon. ¹¹It is your function to hold it to your heart, and offer it to all the world to keep it safe.
Fear
As I was reading Dying to Be Me and taking note of how fearful Anita was all of her life, I realized her fears mirrored mine. Until I read her words I never realized the extent of my fearful thinking. I have always been afraid of not measuring up, of not being accepted. I have been afraid of believing in myself and so have looked for someone else to be the authority. Now I see that I seem to be letting that go.
Trust
I notice that when I feel guided to speak truthfully to my children about my understanding, or when I think of them reading some of my writing, I don’t feel at all concerned about their opinion. That’s new for me. I noticed yesterday that I read something from an established Course teacher and knew in my heart that it did not resonate with me, and I didn’t question my understanding. I didn’t automatically feel defensive, or frightened that I could not trust my own understanding. That’s new for me.
Confidence
More and more often I feel identified with my Self more than my self, and when this happens, I don’t feel immediately fearful nor feel the need to contract back into my small self again. I don’t feel the need to keep people from thinking I am being grandiose, and to keep their expectations for me smaller and more manageable. That’s new, too.
Trust
I am learning to trust God’s judgment, to know that I am still as He created me, to know that I am very holy. Anita says, in her book, that we are magnificent! Every time I think that word – magnificent – my heart opens to take it in. I feel the truth of that. I barely notice the fearful little ego voice warning me to be more humble. In the face of God’s judgment of me, I can laugh at the ego.
Gratitude
I am grateful for:
- the study of the Manual for Teachers and for all I have been led to do.
- the teachers for God that have been brought into my life.
- how my life unfolds effortlessly with each person, book, or practice that is given me at the moment I need it
- the ease of it all
- when it feels hard because I no longer doubt that this too will pass, and the truth will emerge in my mind unscathed by the ego attack
- the many opportunities I have to share this journey and these insights.
As I offer my gratefulness to the world, I keep gratitude safe in my heart.