Question: Did you have a hard time remembering what the lesson was for each day, after you practiced in the morning and went to work, and did you forget completely what you were supposed to practice during your daily working routine? I am tempted to take a card out of the cardfile you sent me to work with me, just so I can look at it to remember my lesson.
Answer: I think that using your cards this way is an excellent idea. I have even seen people use reminder bracelets. They vibrate at a set time to remind the wearer to do the lesson. Since there is a market for such things we know that it is a very common problem. If we were not resistant to awakening, we would already be awake, right?
I think there are two things we learn as we do the lessons. One, of course, is to allow Jesus to re-train our minds to see the world differently and to remember our true desire to be one again. The other purpose in the lessons is to show us how much we don’t want to do them. If you just asked me how I felt about using the lessons to wake up, I would have told you that I really wanted this and was very excited about it. But in actually doing them, I discovered that a part of my mind wanted very much to stay asleep and didn’t want to do the lessons.
I would often “forget.” But really, did I simply forget? Do I forget the things that matter to me, the things I really want to do? And to begin the day excited and determined and then to discover at the end of the day it was like a gremlin came in and wiped the memory clear of the lesson. How is that possible? Something is up, right?
It was in seeing that I “forgot” the lesson so often that I learned I had this unconscious desire to remain separate from God, and this was a good thing to know. The only way I can ask for healing of a thing is if I know I need it. Each time I would reach the end of the day and realize I had completely forgotten to do the lesson at all that day, or that I barely remembered, I could then ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind and to help me strengthen the part of my mind that wants to awaken.
Here is something encouraging to remember. Jesus knows us. He knows that we are going to resist. He knows we are going to forget. He even knows we are going to have days that we don’t think about the lesson again until the day is over and it is too late to do it. He knew this before it happened to the first student. He knew it because he is one with us, a part of us. Because he knew this, he planned for it. As long as we keep doing the lessons and don’t give up, they will take.
Something to remember is that your behavior is perfectly normal. Your mind is split, just as all of us have a split mind. You want to wake up and you don’t want to wake up.If this was not true you wouldn’t need the lessons and you would simply wake up. Jesus encourages us to remember this. He tells us in the text not to try to fix the problem and then come to him. He is here (as the Holy Spirit) to heal us.
So don’t be worried, guilty or ashamed when you forget. Just pick up where you left off as soon as you notice what happened. Just say to yourself, “Oh, I see that the mind is split and the part that is ego does not want to do these lessons. I am grateful for the awareness this is so. Holy Spirit, please heal that part of the mind.” See, simple and guiltless prayer. That is how we can do this work without suffering, and it will go much faster that way.