Lesson 147
My mind holds only what I think with God.
(133) I will not value what is valueless.
(134) Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
In both the Workbook and the Text, Jesus tells us that we have no private thoughts. This is another way of telling us that our minds hold only what we think with God. That is an expression of our oneness. Our minds all hold the same thoughts and these are the thoughts in the Mind of God. We are all One. Everything in my mind that I now think of as a thought is a meaningless idea and because it is not shared and is not eternal, it is not real. Feeling guilty for a thought makes no sense. Why would I feel guilty for something that is meaningless? However, just because it is meaningless does not mean it is without power. For this reason, I gladly practice forgiveness of my meaningless thoughts, but I do so without guilt.
Because I have been asking for healing of the mind that projects sickness and pain onto the body, Jesus has been showing me guilt and when I find it, I release it. Yesterday, he showed me that I still find value in sickness. I was at my daughter’s house and I wanted to go home after a while. I noticed the thought to tell her that I was tired and not feeling well to justify my desire to leave because I knew both she and my granddaughter wanted me to stay longer. Jesus gave me a little nudge and I dismissed that desire immediately. I don’t want to use sickness in that way because that gives it value and therefore making it worthy of keeping. Instead, I just said that I was ready to leave.
I used to think of forgiveness as a sacrifice. I would forgive because I was supposed to but I really wanted to keep the grievance. Or I would forgive myself but I didn’t feel worthy of forgiveness. When I thought like this, I never really forgave because I didn’t know how. Now I understand that I never have done anything that needs forgiveness and neither has anyone else.
Sometimes, rarely, but sometimes I get caught in a story of guilt or shame or some other expression of fear and then Jesus and I have to unravel my thoughts about it so that I can return to peace. One day recently, I was sharing a story with someone and suddenly realized that it could be perceived as inappropriate. I felt embarrassed and immediately regretful.
These are old thoughts and seldom show up anymore, but I guess they were there because I had not yet completely forgiven them and if the forgiveness is not complete it is not really forgiveness. I felt the heaviness of regret and shame hovering in the back of mind for all of the next day. Finally, I let it come to the forefront of my mind and looked at it with the Holy Spirit so He could heal it. Yesterday, I was sharing this with a friend and suddenly found myself laughing at the memory. What had been a shameful story now was just funny. I love forgiveness!