What if the very life you are living, and each every experience that is coming to you now since the moment you decided, “I have to awaken here,” was being directly sent to you of your Father because your Father knows what is necessary to unravel within your consciousness to allow you to awaken? What if the very things you are resisting are the very stepping stones to your homecoming?
My experience with this lesson
When I read this it was as if the next piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Of course, this is true. Of course, each moment in my life is perfect, is the best possible lesson which if learned will bring me that much closer to my awakening. This puts an entirely new light on all the circumstances of my life. My ex husbands were not mistakes, they were the next step. My job is not a distraction from what I really want to do, it is the perfect school room for practicing what I really want to do.
I have a cold. This cold is not punishment for wrong minded thinking. It is my next step home. This is the second time I have been able to experience sickness in a different way. This is what happened. As I have been visiting customers this past week, I began to notice how many of them are sick. At first it was just an observation. Then I began to think that it was amazing that I have not caught anything from them. I even told someone that it feels like the whole world is sick.
I began to think about catching what they have. I didn’t let myself dwell on it, but the thought was there. Not dwelling on it is not the same thing as looking at with Holy Spirit and allowing it to be healed. In fact not dwelling on it in this case meant I was pretending the thought was no longer there. It was burying it deeply within my mind where I did not have to look at that belief. Not looking at it is the same thing as defending it and keeping it.
I started to feel sick and so started thinking about what I had done. I went to Walmart to buy some medicine and when I got there I saw a long line of people with their shopping carts. I asked one of them what on earth was going on. She said they were waiting in line for their turn at the pharmacy. I had never seen anything like that and for a moment was stunned. I asked why there were so many people in line, and she said everybody is sick. I nearly laughed out loud. It was like I was getting my thoughts reflected right back to me. The Holy Spirit may as well have said, “See Myron, this is what you are doing in your mind.”
As Jeshua points out later in The Way of the Heart, I dropped a pebble (thought) into the lake of my awareness, and it caused ripples (effects) to form. I am experiencing the effects which in this case look like a cold. I am not going to keep putting the same pebble into the water because I don’t want to experience the same effects.
I have used this cold as an opportunity to heal more than my body. I am looking at how I created it. I am also recognizing the power it takes to do this. I am using the power of creation to make myself feel really bad, but even misused it is an awesome power. I am feeling the mystery of the whole thing. How did I do this? There is so much I do not know, and the only way to know is to admit I do not know. I cannot be taught what I think I already understand.
I am reminded of this passage from page 6. “For your way begins with the illusory and insane assumption that you are a separate being from the Mind of God and must, therefore, direct your own course. For if you are sick and diseased and not at peace, why would you decide that you know how to create peace?” I am willing to step back, Holy Spirit, from the idea that I know anything. I am willing to empty myself of all thought that I can direct my life. I invite the Love that is God to flow through me and live my life. I am ready to trust the flow of that.
I feel like I have a cold. I am sneezing and coughing and feeling achy. But at the same time I am aware of the meaning of the cold, the underlying cause and purpose. It is a different experience. When I start feeling really sorry for myself, I stop and allow myself to feel the discomfort without judging it. I feel my head pounding and just be with that pounding. I don’t call it bad. I just call it an experience.
This changes nothing and changes everything. The pounding is still there, but I am not angry about it. I am not afraid of it; I don’t feel worn out by it. It is like cutting the misery in half. I wonder if I could cut the misery out completely if I keep practicing this. I called this cold to me and now I call to me the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see it. It takes some vigilance to do this. It is a great temptation to just give into the misery and wallow in it. I tell myself I am too tired to do all this work. But I don’t really believe in my story like I used to, and I cannot go back to it. The truth keeps disrupting it.
All quotes are used by kind permission of the Shanti Christo Foundation. To buy a copy of this profound book visit their website at www.shantichristo.com. I invite your thoughts and comments.