You are empty within. In truth, you desire nothing, though you allow desire to move through you. And you recognize it as the voice of the Father guiding your personality, your emotions and even the body to the places, events, people and experiences through which the tapestry of the atonement…
My experience with this lesson
I cannot really say too much about desiring nothing and yet allowing desire to flow through me. I am only just beginning to experience this and don’t know how to speak of it yet because it is so new. I am still filled with many desires, but I have begun to let go of them. I do this by withdrawing the value I placed on them as is suggested in A Course in Miracles.
Ok, this time in the morning to journal and to share with you what comes to me is an example. Before I have always felt there was not enough time and resented all the things that kept me from doing this. I desired the time and words and the sharing. And often I did not have time. I would have to leave for work before I had done much. It felt frustrating and I thought the solution was to change something in my life to accommodate this effort. I felt justified in this plan because doing this spiritual work seemed more important than other things.
Now I have experienced a shift in this thinking. I did not do anything or think of anything that made it happen. I just stopped wanting and moved into allowing. The shift feels like relaxing and letting go of anxiety and uncertainty. It feels like resting in the mind of God. It doesn’t look different. I still get up in the morning and answer emails, sometimes write something for my website and then do this journaling as well as other things. What has changed is that there is no anxiety associated with it. If one day there is no time or no inspiration to do so, then I will let it go without a sense of loss because I don’t desire it, rather I am allowing desire to move through me.
I am interested in seeing how I experienced this moving of desire through me in other parts of my life. I feel humbled as I realize that this desire I am allowing to move through me is God bringing me home. I think the emptiness that allows the space for this movement is the result of vigilance against ego. The daily awareness of choosing ego and then making another choice is emptying me
All quotes are used by kind permission of the Shanti Christo Foundation. To buy a copy of this profound book visit their website at www.shantichristo.com. I invite your thoughts and comments.