V. Wholeness and Spirit, P 3
3 When the Atonement has been completed, all talents will be shared by all the Sons of God. God is not partial. All His children have His total Love, and all His gifts are freely given to everyone alike. “Except ye become as little children” means that unless you fully recognize your complete dependence on God, you cannot know the real power of the Son in his true relationship with the Father. The specialness of God’s Sons does not stem from exclusion but from inclusion. All my brothers are special. If they believe they are deprived of anything, their perception becomes distorted. When this occurs the whole family of God, or the Sonship, is impaired in its relationships.
Two things stand out for me in this paragraph. The first is that I am special because I am one with my brothers who are special. I lack nothing. I have every gift of God there is to have. Sometimes I know this is true. I know that the world I experience is not what I am. I know that I am part of God and in God and want for nothing. When it seems I do not, that is because I have become identified with Myron, that is, with the idea of a separated self.
As a separated self, I seem to be different from my brothers, each of us having certain gifts, and of course, someone else seems to have the gift I really want and really long for. This is an attack, an attack on myself because now I feel less than, and so no longer special in my wholeness. It is an attack on my brother because I envy him and want what I think belongs to him. I want what he has so that I can feel special in my separation.
I have always longed to express myself creatively. I long to sing but it seems my part is to listen and appreciate. I long to paint, but I can only enjoy what others paint. Why can I not be given an incredible book like A Course in Miracles or The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament? I want to wake up and live the rest of this life from that perspective the way others are doing. I want to have what Byron Katie has, and what Jan Frazier and Cate Grieves have. The list of special talents and gifts that I feel deprived of is too long to list here.
Jesus is telling me that I am deprived of nothing and when I think I am, my perception becomes distorted, and I can see that he is right. When I think I lack something someone else has that thought is a distortion and leads to further distortion such as feeling unloved and uncared for. Why do I not have what they have, is the underlying question and the answer seems to be that I must not be worthy.
The world as I see it now, from the point of view of Myron, is splintered. Some have and some have not, but this is not the truth. The world is not the truth. I can be Myron for awhile, and probably I have tried on many roles, but they are temporary parts to be played and lain aside. In truth, I am One with all my brothers, and there is nothing we do not share.
The second thing that stands out is the idea of being as a child, being completely dependent on God. I practice this as I surrender my day-to-day decisions, as I lay aside my plans and ask, “What would You have me do, now?” I practice becoming empty of self so that I can be lived. I laugh at myself when I say this because I am being lived whether I surrender to it or not. It is a distortion of perception to think Myron is in control and making things happen.
I want to consciously let go of the idea that I am in control. I want to relax into God and be happy to be led. I want to let go of all resistance to the idea that to surrender means to lose. This morning before I began my study, I asked Spirit to take me to God, as I have been doing for several days now. My mind wandered all over the place and finally, I let go of trying.
Holy Spirit helped me to see that this is resistance, this mind wandering. The distractions of the mind are simply a defense against God, designed to keep me separate and in the distorted perception of ego, safe from God. Ego does not want to give up its “independence” from God. As if it could ever be independent of God! What would I lose if I surrendered to my Truth? Unhappiness? Loss? Suffering and death? I ask myself why I struggle so hard to maintain my pretense of being separate from my God.
What would I gain if I let go of my fierce grip on this pretense? Everything.