VI. From Vigilance to Peace, P 11
11 Perceived without your part in it, God’s creation is seen as weak, and those who see themselves as weakened do attack. The attack must be blind, however, because there is nothing to attack. Therefore they make up images, perceive them as unworthy and attack them for their unworthiness. That is all the world of the ego is. Nothing. It has no meaning. It does not exist. Do not try to understand it because, if you do, you are believing that it can be understood and is therefore capable of being appreciated and loved. That would justify its existence, which cannot be justified. You cannot make the meaningless meaningful. This can only be an insane attempt.
Oh man! This brings a lot of clarity to what we see as the world. In an attempt to experience separation from God, we perceived ourselves as no longer whole since we thought we were no longer part of God. Simply being separate rather than whole made it seem as if we were weak, and feeling weak we felt defensive and so felt the need to attack.
But what could we attack? Now we had to “make up images, perceive them as unworthy and attack them for their unworthiness.” Voila, separate bodies! How perfect is that? We have these bodies that are weak and vulnerable, and will ultimately die and decay. These bodies interact in painful and cruel ways.
Even in good intentions they hurt each other. They have twisted the idea of love until it barely resembles itself. Because they were made out of fear, they are fearful. How else to see these images except as unworthy. All made up. All serving the purpose of giving us something to defend against because we made ourselves feel weak.
Jesus then warns us not to try to understand the world we made, not to appreciate or love it, because we don’t want to justify it. It is meaningless, and we cannot make it meaningful. That’s why we are still here, we keep trying to find meaning where there is none. We keep trying to justify our existence as egos.
We are not that. We are not bodies. We are not weak and vulnerable. We are not fearful and guilty. We are not hateful and we have no need to defend ourselves, and nothing to defend against. We are simply confused. However, if we continue trying to understand and improve the illusion, this insane world we imagined, we will continue to think that this is exactly what we are.
We could have reason to love and appreciate the world, or to hate the world, only if the world were meaningful and it is not. This is why I don’t pray for a better, more loveable world, but rather I pray that I awake from the dream of the world. I dream that I live in this hellish expression of confusion and fear, then I dream that I die from it. Then I pop back in and dream that this time I will have a better “life” and then I dream I die. It is an endless cycle of nothing happening.
If I did not believe in it this whole thing would be funny, but as Jesus tells us in the Course, what I believe in is real for me, so it is more tragic than funny. But thank God, it is never real. I can wake up from the dream of life and the dream of death. Thank God, I am still as I was created, and my real life has not ceased because part of my mind is involved in this insane dream.