II. The Voice for God, P 10
10 I have assured you that the Mind that decided for me is also in you, and that you can let it change you just as it changed me. This Mind is unequivocal, because it hears only one Voice and answers in only one way. You are the light of the world with me. Rest does not come from sleeping but from waking. The Holy Spirit is the Call to awaken and be glad. The world is very tired, because it is the idea of weariness. Our task is the joyous one of waking it to the Call for God. Everyone will answer the Call of the Holy Spirit, or the Sonship cannot be as one. What better vocation could there be for any part of the Kingdom than to restore it to the perfect integration that can make it whole? Hear only this through the Holy Spirit within you, and teach your brothers to listen as I am teaching you.
I am reassured by that first sentence. The Mind that decided for Jesus is in me and it will decide for me, too. I will change as Jesus changed and all that is needed for this to happen is my decision for it. I just have to want the change. I will make this decision because it is through my choice to heal that the Sonship will once again be as one. If I make that decision now, I will no longer suffer.
Right now I have a persistent headache and pain in my stomach. I am told it is probably some kind of virus. The ego mind says it might be this or that. It was caused by something I ate or someone I was with. It says that maybe it is something worse, a symptom of something fatal. The ego recommends medicines that have worse side effects than the discomfort I now suffer. The ego also says that I am guilty for being sick and in pain. The ego mind offers very little that I value, and yet, here I am, suffering and in pain.
There was a time when I had no place to go except the ego. I believed everything I thought. This is no longer true. Now I question the ego thoughts in my mind. I show them to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to heal the sick thoughts. I know I have sick thoughts because they are projected on the body and appear as pain and suffering. Even though I ask for healing, I don’t always accept it right away or fully. I know this is crazy, and yet, here I am suffering and in pain, and rejecting the healing that is mine when I want it. All I have to do is value the healing more than I value the pain and suffering.
I know the healing is possible because I have chosen a healed mind and have seen the effects as the pain and suffering disappeared, sometimes disappearing so quickly that I was left laughing in wonder. I have listened to the Holy Spirit and I have listened to the ego. When I listen to the ego I am uncertain and doubtful. I am afraid and guilty. I suffer. When I listen to the Holy Spirit, I always hear only one thing. I am innocent. I am still as God created me. I don’t know why I still listen to the ego sometimes, but I am learning to be patient with myself and use each opportunity to experience more healing.
Jesus says that I am to teach my brothers to listen as he is teaching me. I do this in every way that I can. I teach what I have learned, but I also teach what I am learning. If someone asks I tell them that I am confused about what I really want and that I still find value in pain and suffering, but that I know that I can choose again.
It might be helpful to know that they are not the only ones who still listen to ego, and it might be helpful to know how I deal with it. I tell them that I am patient with myself and forgiving of my choices. I tell them that I just use the pain and suffering as another chance to choose God, and I do it without guilt and each time with more confidence. Our temporary setbacks are not failures and are not something to be ashamed of. In fact they can be good teaching tools.
Another way I teach is to see the truth in other people. Just as I am learning to see my own ego without judgment, I practice seeing their ego without judgment. When I do this for either of us, I see through the egos and to the truth of our being. The Course says that we are not sick and we cannot die, but we can confuse ourselves with things that do.
By realizing that my ego can see his ego, but that neither ego is real but just a confusion of the mind, I teach the truth whether I ever say anything or not. My ego thinks it is sick today, but I am not my ego. Remembering this is a way to teach. Remembering it when you are sick is also a way to teach. We can teach each other. Whichever of us is saner at the moment can be the teacher.