II. The Voice for God, P 9
9 My mind will always be like yours, because we were created as equals. It was only my decision that gave me all power in Heaven and earth. My only gift to you is to help you make the same decision. This decision is the choice to share it, because the decision itself is the decision to share. It is made by giving, and is therefore the one choice that resembles true creation. I am your model for decision. By deciding for God I showed you that this decision can be made, and that you can make it.
Journal
In every moment of the day I make a decision. I make a decision for ego, that is, for separation, weakness, loss, and death. Or I make a decision for God, for love, for all power in Heaven and earth. I can make the decision for God continuously. I know I can because Jesus did it and proved to me it can be done. I long to make that decision because I long for love. Love is universally the strongest drive of man because deep down in our core we have an ancient memory of our creation, and we know that we are an extension of Love Itself. We are Love playing at being human. Every fiber of our being longs for union with Itself.
The desire for love becomes distorted as it passes through the ego filters in our mind and becomes something closer to neediness seeking, always seeking, something to fulfill it. It is hardly recognizable as love and yet it is still the highest calling we know within the illusion because it is the closest we can come to our true nature. But through the Holy Spirit in our mind we can become healed and our nature stretches, the neediness dissolves, our little attempts at love grow and are purified. We become what we always were, or close enough to it that ascension becomes possible.
O my, can you imagine that? Can you imagine Love ascending into Love and joining with Love, never to imagine Itself separated again. I imagine it . . . but of course, I can’t really. I try to think what it would be like, what it is like. It must be absolute freedom and vastness. When I think of it, I feel claustrophobic in this body. I feel like crying. I imagine living without the limits imposed by humanness and the limits imposed by separation. I would never experience loneliness or loss again. Grief and pain would be such a distant memory I couldn’t grasp it in my mind. Smallness would no longer be a concept I could hold onto. Would we wonder at the idea of guilt and fear, barely able to describe it much less feel it?
Holy Spirit I want to remember the truth. I want to remember my Self and my God. I’m doing my best to choose God over ego. Please help me today as I continue my practice. Help me to be as loving as it is possible for me to be in this moment. I accept the Atonement. Please heal the part of my mind that resists the Atonement. It knows not what it does.