ACIM Chapter 4, II. The Ego and False Autonomy, P 1, 2.

ACIM Chapter 4, II. The Ego and False Autonomy, P 1, 2. It is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego.

II. The Ego and False Autonomy, P 1

1 It is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego. In fact, it is the best question you could ask. There is, however, no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter, and history would not exist if the same errors were not being repeated in the present. Abstract thought applies to knowledge because knowledge is completely impersonal, and examples are irrelevant to its understanding. Perception, however, is always specific, and therefore quite concrete.

Jesus says it is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego. It’s a good question, he says. I’m glad to hear it because I have certainly asked that question, though I did notice that I felt a twinge of fear in the asking, which guarantees I won’t get an answer. Answers come to the heart, and the heart does not ask in fear. We do not receive answers we don’t really want.

Then Jesus says something very interesting. He says, in part:

There is, however, no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter . . .

This pretty much blocks any answer I could conceive of with my thinking mind. At first, I was confused. First, Jesus said it was a good question, a very important question, and then he made it impossible for me to come up with an answer.

I Get It

Ahh, I get it now. First, there is no point in looking to the past because the past does not exist. More helpful, I think, if I ask why I am choosing the go now. And this is something I ask every day. The answer has led me to choose God instead. I am angry with someone, and I am choosing the ego to interpret the world for me… again. But I have a choice now as I question this decision and choose differently. The more I do this, the happier and more peaceful I am.

Not an Answer the Ego Can Give Me

Why did I choose it to begin with? It is not for me to come up with an answer. That would be the ego attempting to discover the truth. The ego is not interested in the truth. The ego is only interested in the perpetuation of itself. The answer I want is not going to come from the thinking mind. The answer will come to me from outside of the ego. It will not be in words, nor will it be specific or personal. The explanation will not come with practical examples. It will not be anything the ego will understand, but I will be affected by it. I will understand.

I will receive the answer according to the degree that I really want it. There is no shame in not being able to accept it completely, no reason for guilt or fear. This is why we are studying and practicing A Course in Miracles. It is because we don’t know the answer, and we are learning that we want to know the answer. Most of the time, the answer comes slowly in gentle steps. It is a gradual undoing of misperceptions. It happens this way because Love is kind. There is no reason to feel anxious about it because it is inevitable that truth becomes known to us.

II. The Ego and False Autonomy, P 2

2 Everyone makes an ego or a self for himself, which is subject to enormous variation because of its instability. He also makes an ego for everyone else he perceives, which is equally variable. Their interaction is a process that alters both, because they were not made by or with the Unalterable. It is important to realize that this alteration can and does occur as readily when the interaction takes place in the mind as when it involves physical interaction. Thinking about another ego is as effective in changing relative perception as is physical interaction. There could be no better example that the ego is only an idea and not a fact.

If you ask folks where their ego came from, most will tell you that it was formed through their interactions with other people and that they are the way they are because of how they were treated while they were growing up. They will say that it was further affected by things that happened to them as adults, the loss of a loved one, the birth of a child, and getting fired from a job. That is, all the things that happen in the life of an ordinary person go into making them the person they are. In other words, they are the victim of their DNA, their childhood, and the people and circumstances in their life.

But I Can’t Be a Victim

It would seem that this is true, but Jesus tells us that we are never a victim. He says that we make our ego ourselves and continue that process all of our lives because we did not make our egos out of the Unalterable. Thus, it changes as we make different choices. He says not only did we make our egos, but also we made an ego for everyone we know. I read someplace that we never know another person. We only know our thoughts about that person. Wherever I heard it, I knew that it was true.

Then Jesus says that as we interact our ego with their ego, this produces changes as well, again because they were not made from the Unalterable. So, in the relationship I had with my ex-husband, for instance, I had ideas about him that I attributed to him. I told myself that what I saw with my body’s eyes was true. I told myself that how I see him is how he is. But truthfully, I projected onto him everything I thought I knew about him, and where do you think I got the ideas that were projected? From my own mind, of course. Where else?

Intertwined

I can understand how it is that our interactions change our egos. If I tell someone that he is guilty often enough, he is going to begin to live up to my expectations. But Jesus goes even further with his explanation. He says that it doesn’t even matter if we speak to each other or interact in any way in form. Just the thoughts in our mind affect the other. Of course, they do. I made his ego with my mind, so if my mind changes, so does his ego. And as he changes, so do I. We are so intertwined that it is remarkable that we were able to convince ourselves that separation is real.

Complex Ego Involvement

Here is an example of how this works. I made a very complex ego involvement between my boss and me. Because he is also my brother, this man’s ego and mine evolve on several layers with each interaction, physical or mental. One day a few years ago, I was walking through his office and glanced at him. Our eyes met for a moment, and I noticed he seemed very unhappy. He didn’t smile or acknowledge me in any way. His mouth was turned down, and he looked tense.

I continued on my errand, but mentally I stayed with him. I interpreted his facial expressions as meaning that he was unhappy with me. And man, I went several places with that thought! But where I ended up was that I believed that he was going to fire me. With a one-sided interaction that occurred only in my mind, I altered the ego I had made for him.

Instead of being the loving and caring brother, he was now showing his formerly hidden true colors. He was a hard man, unreasonable, and willing to fire his own sister. My ego changed from the sister who looked up to her younger brother and admired and respected him to a frightened and resentful person who blamed her brother for her fate.

In My Mind, There Was a Change

He didn’t fire me. He never said anything to me about that encounter, and I doubt that he was even thinking about me when he looked at me. But in my mind, a change in our egos occurred that day. He became a harder person, someone to fear. I became more frightened, defensive, and guiltier, and my interactions with him changed for both of us because of this change. His actions seemed to prove my beliefs about him.

This remained true for years until I realized what I had done and forgave the situation. I asked for a new way to see him and a new way to see myself. With a healed perception, I was able to see him with more clarity. When the guilt I projected onto him was withdrawn, I was also able to withdraw the guilt I had projected onto myself. Again, our egos were altered, and again our interactions changed. Now his actions seem to prove my transformed beliefs about him as the loving and kind person he is and always was.

The ego I make for both of us changes and transforms depending on my thoughts about it and my perceptions. It is very clear to me that the ego cannot be real and that it is not a fact but just an idea. I breathe a sigh of relief as I think about that.

No Idle Thoughts

We have no idle thoughts. We are creating on one level and making on another, and we are doing this all the time. Here in egoland, we are making egos. We do this constantly with every thought we have. It would behoove us to be mindful of our thoughts and ask for correction when they are dark thoughts. What we make here is not eternal. It is not even real. But what we believe in is real for us, and until we stop believing all our thoughts, we make a hellish world and believe we are in it.

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