ACIM IV, Error and the Ego, P 5, 6. Perception always involves some misuse of mind, because it brings the mind into areas of uncertainty.
ACIM IV, Error and the Ego, P 5, 6
IV. Error and the Ego, P 5
5 Perception always involves some misuse of mind, because it brings the mind into areas of uncertainty. The mind is very active. When it chooses to be separated it chooses to perceive. Until then it wills only to know. Afterwards it can only choose ambiguously, and the only way out of ambiguity is clear perception. The mind returns to its proper function only when it wills to know. This places it in the service of spirit, where perception is changed. The mind chooses to divide itself when it chooses to make its own levels. But it could not entirely separate itself from spirit, because it is from spirit that it derives its whole power to make or create. Even in miscreation the mind is affirming its Source, or it would merely cease to be. This is impossible, because the mind belongs to spirit which God created and which is therefore eternal.
What a relief it is to read this paragraph! My mind may be confused, it may be misused, but it is eternal. It will never cease to be because it belongs to spirit which was created eternal. I am spirit. I belong to God. What a wonderful thing to know. Even my miscreations are an affirmation of the power of mind, and of my Source.
What Am I?
Jesus says that mind returns to its proper function only when it wills to know. This is why the question, “What am I?” is such a good question. It is an expression of my desire to return to my true will, my heart’s desire. I want to return to God, and to be my Self again. So, I ask over and over, “What am I?” I ask repeatedly not because there is no answer, but to reestablish my will to know. I have been in denial about my true will and now I am learning to remember it.
And I am learning to remember that I want to know my true will. Just as Jesus said it would, doing the work, practicing the Lessons, asking for and accepting the Atonement is working. I am returning my mind to its proper function. At times, this does not seem to be the case, but then I get affirmation of my true will rising in me.
Ego Storm
When this is most striking is when I am in the middle of an ego storm, confused as hell, and someone asks me to help him or her see a problem differently. I will feel love rising in me and extending outward. Sometimes I will experience words not my own coming with this flow of love. Afterward, I will cry out of sheer gratitude. I used to go right back into my ego storm like nothing just happened, and yet I had just experienced a miracle.
When that happened, I felt like Myron was just stumbling around trying to get her footing. At the same time, I was aware that I was intact, whole and part of Something Else. Actually, the Self that is never affected by Myron’s dramas is always there, but sometimes I am too distracted by my story of the world to feel it. I also think that since I am more aware of this Self, it is a sign that I am expressing my will to know.
IV. Error and the Ego, P 6
6 The ability to perceive made the body possible, because you must perceive something and with something. That is why perception involves an exchange or translation, which knowledge does not need. The interpretative function of perception, a distorted form of creation, then permits you to interpret the body as yourself in an attempt to escape from the conflict you have induced. Spirit, which knows, could not be reconciled with this loss of power, because it is incapable of darkness. This makes spirit almost inaccessible to the mind and entirely inaccessible to the body. Thereafter, spirit is perceived as a threat, because light abolishes darkness merely by showing you it is not there. Truth will always overcome error in this way. This cannot be an active process of correction because, as I have already emphasized, knowledge does not do anything. It can be perceived as an attacker, but it cannot attack. What you perceive as its attack is your own vague recognition that knowledge can always be remembered, never having been destroyed.
Asking for Clarity
Me: Jesus this is interesting, but how do you want me to use it? What is its practical application?
Jesus: It is helpful to understand that you made perception, which led to making the body so you could employ perception since to perceive you must have something to perceive and something that perceives. It is hard for you to conceive of existence without conflict, but before perception, there was only pure knowledge and therefore perfect peace.
Placing your awareness outside of what you are caused such confusion and distress that it felt necessary to find a way to be that was less distressful. A place was needed to fully explore what you had made and at the same time to avoid or at least distract yourself from the repercussions of your choices. So, you made a self unlike what you are and a world, unlike reality.
This put you in an impossible situation. To be something you are not, you had to “forget” what you are. This was done to keep your self “safe” from that awareness. You cannot be self if you have a memory of Self, so it was necessary to forget everything except what you made to take the place of reality. Now you must constantly guard against the truth and that makes the return of your memory seem like an attack. In your confusion, you have made your Self your enemy.
Resistance
As you have studied and practiced A Course in Miracles you have felt resistance each step of the way. Sometimes the resistance has been very strong and has slowed you to a stop until you were willing to trust me a little more. This resistance is the fear felt by the false self you made. As your mind is enlightened, the darkness will disappear and your memory will return. You will know your Self, and there will no longer be a self. The self you made senses this and resists it.
Having just a little understanding of this will help you feel more comfortable with the idea of surrender. As you allow me to help you make different choices your memory will recover and you will see that you are surrendering only to your Self and that there is no loss in that surrender. Understanding this will help you overcome your resistance more easily and more quickly.
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