ACIM IV, Error and the Ego, P 3, 4. The ego is the questioning aspect of the post-separation self, which was made rather than created.
ACIM IV, Error and the Ego, P 3, 4
IV. Error and the Ego, P 3
3 The ego is the questioning aspect of the post-separation self, which was made rather than created. It is capable of asking questions but not of perceiving meaningful answers, because these would involve knowledge and cannot be perceived. The mind is therefore confused, because only One-mindedness can be without confusion. A separated or divided mind must be confused. It is necessarily uncertain about what it is. It has to be in conflict because it is out of accord with itself. This makes its aspects strangers to each other, and this is the essence of the fear-prone condition, in which attack is always possible. You have every reason to feel afraid as you perceive yourself. This is why you cannot escape from fear until you realize that you did not and could not create yourself. You can never make your misperceptions true, and your creation is beyond your own error. That is why you must eventually choose to heal the separation.
Two Visions
The split mind sees itself as self-created and sovereign. It imagines itself to be separate from all else and self-determined. The right mind sees its true nature as part of a whole and existing within and sharing the Will of God. There is no meeting ground between these two visions. Never will the right and wrong mind be in accord, so there is constant conflict. It is a wonder we are not all insane. But wait. Perhaps we are.
The mind, because it believes diametrically opposed views of itself, is confused and does not know who it is. This is frightening and an impossible position to be in, yet here we are. There is no compromise we can make to ease the situation. We think we have options, that is, we think we can choose between being self-created and being the creation of God. But that is delusional. We don’t get to choose who or how we were created. We can only pretend to be something other than what we are, and when we do, we feel confused and afraid.
Deciding for God
Up until now, we have tried to have both options be true. We see ourselves as separate from God and from each other. It seems we are the planners and the decision-makers, the movers and the doers. We made a world with endless choices and convinced ourselves they mattered and that making a choice between one illusion or another illusion was important.
We think that we can be a teacher of God even as we judge and condemn our brother. Strangely, we think we can be happy even as we imagine ourselves to be sinners and deserving of punishment. Do you see how impossible it is to conciliate the two minds? We even made a God in our own image and gave ourselves the choice of whether or not to believe in Him. We have tried to have a God and still be the God we have. No wonder we are frightened and confused.
Our only true option is to back out of the alternate reality we made for ourselves. We do this by first recognizing it has no value. We start looking at the effects of the separation idea, and as we do so, we realize there is no reason to hold onto it. Then we make the only other choice there is and decide for God as our Creator. With this decision made, the Holy Spirit undoes what we have done, and we are left with a clear mind that allows the truth to be true.
4 IV. Error and the Ego, P 4
4 Right-mindedness is not to be confused with the knowing mind, because it is applicable only to right perception. You can be right-minded or wrong-minded, and even this is subject to degrees, clearly demonstrating that knowledge is not involved. The term “right-mindedness” is properly used as the correction for “wrong-mindedness,” and applies to the state of mind that induces accurate perception. It is miracle-minded because it heals misperception, and this is indeed a miracle in view of how you perceive yourself.
Jesus continues to help me understand the difference between perception and knowledge. He wants me to keep in mind that the miracle of mind healing is still in the realm of perception. No matter how clear my mind becomes and how right-minded it is, it is not the same as knowledge.
He points out that while my mind is being healed or corrected, I can be both wrong-minded and right-minded and that this can occur in varying degrees. Therefore, it cannot be knowledge, which is whole and certain and does not vary. But, as he points out, even being right-minded is a miracle. We really are a mess.
I Can Relate
I definitely relate to that. Sometimes I feel so clear about myself, who I am, and what it all means, then the next moment, I am Myron and the world is real, and I am trying to make it all better. Then I remember that the mind needs correction, not the illusion. I used to go back and forth with this all the time. Not so much now, but still, it can happen.
The way I discovered I was making progress was that it began to take me less time to remember the truth. And I would stay right-minded for increasing lengths of time. Obviously, though, what I think I know, though closer to truth than ever before, is not knowledge. If it were knowledge, if I knew, I would not forget. I would not move from my certainty to the illusion, even if I did come back quickly.
My Mind Was Wavering from Right to Wrong Mindedness
Here is something that happened several years ago. My son had been having physical challenges for some time. Sometimes I had no trouble seeing him as he truly was. Jesus says that at no moment does the body exist, and I know this is true. The suffering body of my son was an illusion. In spite of appearances, in spite of what my eyes showed me, the truth is he remained exactly as God created him.
But one day, I was with him when he got a treatment. The body I identified as my son was suffering so much pain that I completely forgot the truth. My mind saw only the pain and suffering, and my heart broke for him. At that moment, I was right in the middle of the illusion and couldn’t see anything else. All I wanted was for him not to hurt anymore. I would gladly accept better medicine, a different doctor, or another treatment. I would beg God for his relief if I could, but I don’t believe in that kind of God anymore, so I couldn’t go there.
Even then, I knew that this was not right. I knew that this was an illusion no matter how much pain I was in as I watched someone I loved suffer. I knew it even as I sat there sobbing at the memory of that experience. It was a perfect example of what we are told in this paragraph. You can be right-minded or wrong-minded, and even this is subject to degrees, clearly demonstrating that knowledge is not involved.
Shifting My Mind
I thanked the Holy Spirit for helping me to see that this remained unhealed in my mind. I asked that He heal my mind. For this to be a real prayer, I must set aside what I think I know. I must set aside the belief that the pain I see in my son or anyone else is real.
I was surprised that it was amazingly hard to do this. It sounded so easy, and yet I saw myself clinging to the picture of pain and suffering and realized that I was afraid to let go of it. It almost felt like a betrayal to those I love to know that they are not really in pain because pain cannot be real. But I knew enough to understand that I could not help if I were an unhealed healer.
This became my prayer. “So, Holy Spirit, I stand here before you, open and willing, setting aside all I think I know and all I think I want. I invite you to heal my mind and correct my thinking. I know that pain and suffering are not your will. So, I ask for the Atonement, and I accept the Atonement in this situation.”
Feeling Grateful for the Shift
It is easy to see how my mind has been healed to the degree that I no longer lose sight of my purpose and no longer completely lose sight of the truth, but I do step out of joy and into pain at times. It is a matter of moving back and forth, and it’s a matter of varying degrees of acceptance, so though there has been healing, it is not complete, and it is not knowledge.
I am not ungrateful for what I have. When I think of my life before A Course in Miracles, I know that the degree of mind healing I have experienced is indeed a miracle. My perception is being corrected, and I am so grateful. I know that knowledge will come when perception has stabilized. Surely that would be Heaven.
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