V. C. Be Vigilant Only for God and His Kingdom, P 9
9 Truth is without illusions and therefore within the Kingdom. Everything outside the Kingdom is illusion. When you threw truth away you saw yourself as if you were without it. By making another kingdom that you valued, you did not keep only the Kingdom of God in your mind, and thus placed part of your mind outside it. What you made has imprisoned your will, and given you a sick mind that must be healed. Your vigilance against this sickness is the way to heal it. Once your mind is healed it radiates health, and thereby teaches healing. This establishes you as a teacher who teaches like me. Vigilance was required of me as much as of you, and those who choose to teach the same thing must be in agreement about what they believe.
There is the Kingdom of God that is made of only truth with no illusions. Then there is the kingdom I made outside of truth, the kingdom of illusions. Now I have a split mind, split between Reality and illusions. Because I value my little kingdom a part of my mind is now imprisoned by these beliefs. I have the truth in my mind and I also have the illusions in my mind. I must choose what I want to believe, and to protect my choice I must be vigilant for it.
When I first started mind watching it seemed like a real chore. In fact, the first day I became truly devoted to watching my mind for ego thoughts and asking that my thinking be corrected, I was exhausted. I felt like I had taken a beating. That was because my mind was still very conflicted about what I wanted.
I wanted to wake up from the dream of separation. I wanted to relinquish my own little illusory kingdom in favor of my place in the Kingdom of God. But I also valued my own little world and wanted to keep it, too. Since it is not possible to have both, I had exhausted myself going back and forth, choosing first illusions then choosing to be healed, then back to illusions, over and over.
I have been vigilant in watching my mind for a number of years now and so it is not really chore anymore. I do it all the time and I do it without thinking about it. Noticing the ego thoughts and choosing again is just what I do, and I am no longer as conflicted about my desire to awaken as I used to be. Another change is that I no longer feel guilty for the thoughts I find, and that makes the process a lot easier. Noticing how much more peaceful I am now motivates me to continue.
I have been asked if we ever get finished with this process, if there is ever a time when we do not have to be vigilant anymore. My answer has always been that so far in my experience I have not seen an end to the need for vigilance. In this paragraph Jesus tells us that even he had to remain vigilant. Since vigilance has gotten easier and more joyful for me, I assume that by the time I reach the same level of healing as Jesus, it will be unnecessary, but evidently the need for vigilance remains at least for the time being.
Here is a link to the little book, Inner Healing, that changed my life. From this book I learned a simple little process to watch my mind and allow it to be healed. I will be forever grateful to Dan Joseph for writing it. http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Healing-Spiritual-Process-Practices/dp/0971626715