V. C. Be Vigilant Only for God and His Kingdom, P 8
8 To teach the whole Sonship without exception demonstrates that you perceive its wholeness, and have learned that it is one. Now you must be vigilant to hold its oneness in your mind because, if you let doubt enter, you will lose awareness of its wholeness and will be unable to teach it. The wholeness of the Kingdom does not depend on your perception, but your awareness of its wholeness does. It is only your awareness that needs protection, since being cannot be assailed. Yet a real sense of being cannot be yours while you are doubtful of what you are. This is why vigilance is essential. Doubts about being must not enter your mind, or you cannot know what you are with certainty. Certainty is of God for you. Vigilance is not necessary for truth, but it is necessary against illusions.
Journal
I started my contemplation of this lesson by asking if there is someone in my life that I don’t want to think of as part of me, someone I don’t want to teach. A person was brought to mind and I was shown that I resist this person because he is very competitive and this triggers in me the competitive nature within myself that remains unhealed. I find it very unpleasant to be reminded of this in myself so I resent him for showing it to me.
Of course the ego’s solution is to avoid the one who triggers me. The ego will always want to fix the inner problem by seeing it outside me and fixing it there. The Holy Spirit’s solution is to heal the belief I am in competition with my brother, and that I need to win and winning means he loses. All I have to do to have this healing is to stop defending my belief, which in this case means stop hiding it from myself and pretending it isn’t there. The Holy Spirit says to bring it into the light and He will undo it for me.
I don’t want this barrier between me and this brother of mine, nor do I want it to keep me from any other brother. As long as I hold onto to the belief that I am in competition with others, I will exclude parts of the Sonship and so will not teach Wholeness because I don’t believe in it. With all my heart I want this belief to be undone because I want to know who I am, not as a concept, but to know it, to be it. I ask for and accept the Atonement for this. I open my mind to seeing any exceptions that I make to Wholeness so that I can ask for healing.
The Sonship is One, it is Whole. Nothing I believe can change that. But my belief does affect me. What I believe is true for me. Jesus has convinced me that there is One. I don’t understand this and don’t know how this works, but I know it is true. But when I am not vigilant for the truth in my mind, the mind reverts to separation thinking again.
Then I start thinking that my brother is my enemy and I must defend myself against him. I can’t teach Wholeness if I think I am separate from him and what I teach I learn. This puts me right back into the endless cycle of separation thinking, and I have lost sight of the truth of my being. I am not being vigilant for the truth in order to keep the truth true, but I am being vigilant against the illusions so that I remember only the truth.