On Comforting the Grieving

Dear Rev Myron,


My friend lost someone very close. It was quite sudden and she is still in shock, and grieving terribly. She has no background in A Course in Miracles and I don’t know what to say to help. How do you handle situations like this.


Your friend,



Dear friend,


One time when I was working for my mom she was talking to one of her clients whose father had just died. This woman was Pentecostal and because her father was not religious she was distraught believing he was in hell. Mom assured her that he was with God and that God loved this good man. As I listened, I was thinking about how strongly this woman believed her religion which insisted that God punished those who did not live according to the strict rules of her church, and I thought Mom was wasting her breath. But the woman asked her if she really thought her father was in Heaven and became calmer with each reassurance from Mom. I was amazed.


When someone needs comforting about death I give them the words most helpful to them, staying as close to truth as I can. That woman was drawn to Mom’s words because she wanted to hear them, but she believed Mom because my mother was absolutely confident in them. Her certainty was compelling.
When I give assurances I mean them. If the words do not exactly express truth as I see it, I know that doesn’t matter. I don’t actually know anything about death anyway. I only have thoughts and concepts which I think are closer to truth than what I believed before. What I am certain of is that our essence does not die and God is Love. That is enough.
As far as the actual words, I just ask the Holy Spirit to give them to me. Only He knows what is most helpful to each person.




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