Lesson 180

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(169) By grace I live. By grace I am released.
God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(170) There is no cruelty in God and none in me.
God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

Journal
These lessons speak of the truth of what I am. I am Love and thus I exist in a state of grace. And so I am not cruel. Even though perfect love is not my experience, it is my truth. As I practice becoming aware of all that seems different from love and am willing to see differently, I experience more and more of my truth, and less of the ego.

Attack is cruel, and when I attack, I seem to be cruel to the person my attack is aimed at and to myself as well because I am teaching both of us that we are outside God. While this is an impossible state, it is possible that I believe it. Believing I have destroyed the wholeness of God is indeed cruel as it induces a state of terror.

Here again, I seem to be faced with a paradox. I seem to be cruel as I teach others and myself that God is not whole and that we are not in God. And yet, I am in God and therefore I cannot be what God is not, so I am not cruel. Thus, the word “seems” which comes up often as I do these lessons. In the world of time, I can act in ways that are cruel, but it changes nothing. I am as God created me, and I am as God is. God is not cruel, therefore, neither am I.

Attack can be very subtle and not immediately obvious. For instance, feeling a slight twinge of annoyance because the lady in front of me at the checkout is taking a very long time to meticulously fill out her check is an attack. It says that we are separate people with separate interests, separate agendas and one must win and one must lose. It says that God is not whole. My impatience implies that there is not enough time and therefore I am in lack and so not as God created me. These things are an attack on myself.

I can think of a million ways that I express my desire to be separate from God, and I don’t kid myself about this. If I attack in any way, I am saying that I am separate from God, and if I say this it is because I want it. Certainly, it is not God’s idea so it must be mine. This is depressing and overwhelming until I remember that the only problem I have is that I think I am separate.

It feels like an impossible number of problems to be corrected, but it is only one problem expressed in many different ways. I don’t have to undo every seeming error, but only use whichever of those expressions of separation seem to be in front of me at any moment as an opportunity to learn that there is only one problem, one solution.

As for grace, I have never fully understood this concept. When I think of grace, I feel loved by God. I decided to look it up in Wikipedia. They distinguish between the Christian definition, which is based on a gift not deserved, and the theological definition which is:

In theology, grace may be described as ‘enabling power sufficient for progression’. Grace divine is an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion, and without God’s grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities, and faults (i.e. carnality) mankind cannot overcome.

That definition is close enough for me. I cannot get rid of the ego through the efforts of the ego so I need help. This help is the grace of God which comes in the form of the Holy Spirit in my mind. The Holy Spirit is an indispensable gift from God for my spiritual development.

*Grace is acceptance of the Love of God within a world of seeming hate and fear. By grace alone the hate and fear are gone, for grace presents a state so opposite to everything the world contains, that those whose minds are lighted by the gift of grace can not believe the world of fear is real. P 2

Sometimes I notice a mistaken thought and I look at the effects of that thought, recognize I chose it and so am 100% responsible for it, but I am willing to choose differently. I ask for another way to see. Through God’s grace, this is done. I am filled with an understanding that is not based on anything I thought I knew. It is a miracle. It changes everything.

All of the study and practice that make up my life are the way I prepare for grace, the way I prepare my mind to accept this gift. But neither the study nor the practice transforms my mind. No amount of logical thinking can show me a world without fear. It is the grace of God that does this for me. How else could I ever see this world as it truly exists except by accepting the Love of God right here, right now, in this world of time and space, right in the midst of separation with all its fearful effects?