Lesson 150

Lesson 150.

My mind holds only what I think with God.

“I will accept Atonement for myself.”

“Only salvation can be said to cure.”

 

Journal

There is only one way out of this virtual reality, and that is to know the Self. That is salvation and that is accepting the Atonement. I cannot do this for anyone else, only for myself. However, in doing it for myself, I affect all others through the one mind. I continue to remain open to the Self, the Holy Spirit that I am. In doing so, there is a change, subtle at the moment, but definitely a change occurring in my mind.

In doing this, it doesn’t matter what the circumstances in my life, something little, something insignificant, something that seems big and important. It’s all the same, and anyway, it is never about what it seems to be about. Each circumstance is only an image of a belief in the mind. If someone in my life seems to disapprove of me, that is just an image of the belief that I am not worthy and that sense of unworthiness is the effect of feeling separate from God.

If I accept the Atonement for the situation in which I seemed to have been dissed by a friend, and recognize that there is nothing to forgive because nothing happened, I am accepting the Atonement for the belief that I could be other than God and someplace outside God. I accept the Atonement for both beliefs because they are the same belief. My Self has no belief in unworthiness, cannot imagine unworthiness. Accepting the Atonement is knowing that I am my Self and knowing nothing but worthiness.

One of the challenges of the body I made for this foray into the virtual reality of time and space is that I seemed to have programmed into it a tendency to gain weight. This tendency has created many opportunities for me to evolve spiritually as I learned to see the body differently and to recognize through the body issues my hidden desires such as to be a victim. It continues to be a teaching device.

One of the most upsetting things about the relationship I have developed with this body is that it seems at times to be in charge. Here is what that looks like. I seem to get a craving for something sweet and even though I tell myself I am not giving in to those cravings, I often do.

Then I am left feeling like I am weak and vulnerable to my body desires and that I can’t do anything about it. This feels frightening. If I cannot even control my sugar addiction how can I expect to succeed at anything else. It is an ego story that I must love because I tell it all the time. I tell it to others and I tell it to myself.

When I decided to act as if I am my Self even when I don’t feel like I know my Self, I ran up against this old story. So, I am watching TV and I decide I want something to eat, something sweet if I can find it in my house. I can’t, so I eat something salty. But it’s not satisfying, so then I find myself on my feet going back to the kitchen. I watch this behavior a couple of more times as it repeats itself. I place my awareness on it and on the thoughts that drive it. I look with interest and with curiosity.

I am aware that I can say no to feeding the ego appetites in all its forms. I am also aware that I don’t want to say no. After watching it a while, I realize that I no longer want to eat anything. I also notice that at first when this eating desire and fulfillment occurred, I felt like I was giving in to something out of my control and so I felt uneasy.

Later as I merely observed what I was choosing to do without concern about the choice, the uneasiness was gone. It was like watching someone else making choices. It was not someone else exactly. It was my ego construct. My excellent discovery is that this construct is still mine and I still make choices for it and I can choose from my higher Self if I want to.

I am not a victim and I am not out of control. I am controlling it all the time. It is just that sometimes I make the choice with my higher mind and sometimes my lower mind and thus sometimes I am satisfied with my choice and sometimes I regret it. Always, my choices have something to teach me if I care to learn.

Choosing to eat for some reason other than to nourish the body doesn’t seem like a big deal in the scheme of things, but within everything, there is an opportunity for salvation, an opportunity to accept the Atonement and to awaken more fully to my Self. This experiment with placing my awareness where I wanted it and doing so without judgment wasn’t really about whether or not to eat. It was the opportunity to come a step closer to knowing my Self as Awareness.

Past Entries

I want to think about curing the mind of guilt because this is everything. As I cure the mind of guilt, fear is undone, the ego is undone. Did I say that I cure the mind? I do my part by wanting this, but I am not what cures. In the Text, Jesus says, “You cannot do this alone.” It is the Holy Spirit that cures. All He needs is that I desire the healing.

Holy Spirit: Myron, in truth you are one with the Holy Spirit, and your will is one with God’s Will. You may slough off the ego identity simply by deciding to do so.

Me: This feels very confusing to me, Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit: It feels confusing because you are trying to believe in two thought systems at the same time. The truth is whole; as they say, nondualistic. There cannot be two of anything. You cannot be a little bit ego. You are trying to be ego in some situations, and then trying to experience yourself as God’s Son in others. Doing so is upsetting because you are continually in conflict.

Me: Holy Spirit, I think that I want so much to choose God rather than ego, and yet my life proves that I must not want to choose God rather than ego. Can you talk to me about this?

Holy Spirit: Myron, do not look at what is happening in the dream as proof of failure. Do not use the ego mind to judge yourself and your progress. Trust your willingness, and trust Me. All day you notice the thoughts in your mind and choose to have Me correct them. You do want the Atonement, and you are willing to do what is necessary to undo the ego. If you knew but who goes with you on this path you have chosen, you would not doubt nor would you fear.

Me: What can I do right now, this day, Holy Spirit, to accept Atonement for myself?

Holy Spirit: Your decision to undo the ego by having Me correct your thoughts is proof you are accepting the Atonement. To complete this acceptance you only need to want nothing else. Myron, you always get exactly what you want. Keep watching your thoughts and noticing what is in your life to see what yet needs to be undone. Decide that you want nothing but complete joy and total peace and the Atonement is accomplished.

Me: Holy Spirit, I am at a loss for words. Why would I want anything less? Clearly, I have been insane, but I am willing to see differently. I am aware, Holy Spirit, that I have been resisting your suggestions that I can go from trying to wake up to just waking up. Boy, talk about your pressure! I am willing to see this differently, too. I want very much to see this differently.

Coming Out of the Closet?
How interesting! I was watching a vid of John Mark Stroud last night and he was talking about this very thing. He played a recording of Jeshua through Paul Tuttle that said the same thing. John said we are sitting in a closet and asking someone to open the door for us. Jesus is saying, “You have the key on your side! Just open the door and come on out!”

When the Holy Spirit first gave me this message, I didn’t truly believe it was possible but was willing to believe in it. Now I know it is possible and I am more frustrated than ever because I don’t understand why I am still sitting in the closet, key in hand. Jesus, what’s going on with me? The thought in my mind is that I still have things to undo and that is why I am not awake.

Jesus: Your ego mind is grasping at excuses to stay in the closet where it feels cramped, but also where it feels safe. There is nothing to fear in awakening. John was right that we don’t want to hurt you, we only want you to come out and play. Do you remember yesterday when you had the thought of expansion and it scared you? That was the ego mind that was scared. You are not the ego. You can ignore anything coming from the ego. Let me be very clear about this. You can wake up right now. In fact, NOW is the only time you can wake up. Right now. Nothing is holding you back except your fear of coming out of the closet. I assure you that there is nothing to fear. We want you to come out. There is nothing else for you to do to prepare.

Gaining Confidence Through Forgiveness

I have had some intense lessons lately and when in the process of going through them, I have felt like I am so far from waking up that I might never get there. Even after the experience, I have a residual feeling of not being ready. In fact, this morning I noticed that when I decided on the day I would have I started to add, as I sometimes do, that today I would wake up. But I could feel no conviction in the words. So I chose other things I would have be true for today.

I know this feeling will fade so I am not concerned. Then I read this previous message from Jesus and it was like he was talking to me this morning. Thank you for the reminder Brother. I still don’t feel confident in this thought, but now I am going to use the Rules for Decision to undo the last of the forgiveness lessons I have been experiencing, including this one that says I am not yet worthy, or that there is still too much work to be done. How could that be true when I know that the only thing blocking the truth is a wrong belief, and beliefs can change in an instant.