Lesson 149

Lesson 149

My mind holds only what I think with God.

When I am healed I am not healed alone.

Heaven is the decision I must make.

Journal

This morning as I meditated, I began with a guided meditation in which I called on Spiritual help to discern my deepest desire and to ask for assistance in bringing that desire into manifestation. The desire that came to me is to think, act and speak from my highest Self, to do this as if I already remember my Self. I know this can happen because it does happen sometimes and it feels so right and so good when it does. I opened my heart and mind to this assistance and agreed to do whatever was needed on my part to bring it fully into manifestation.

After that, I sat in quiet as much as I could. When a thought came into my mind, I let it but I mostly chose not to follow it. When I noticed that I was caught up in a story again, I remembered that I had a choice as to where I would place my awareness and I brought it back to my silent presence and just enjoyed that until the next time I followed a thought to a story. I did this several times. This used to frustrate me but now I just think of it as good practice. Something I have noticed is that even when not meditating my mind can now be very quiet for periods of time.

I think when I am in the silence, I am closer to knowing what I think with God. It is confusing to the ego mind to think without words. Without words, there are no concepts, no thinking as we are familiar with thinking. The mind doesn’t go into stories. Even when I am doing things, like writing words or talking to someone, there can be a silence in the mind, and that was an odd discovery.

I see that I can write and think about what I am writing or have random thoughts come into the mind while I write. Or I can write without the mind wandering, not thinking of anything else. At those times I am in the present moment and while I am focused on what I am doing and so thinking, it is not the same kind of thinking as is common in the mind. It is more like awareness than thinking. I am aware of what I am writing and my awareness is nowhere else.

This learning to consciously place my awareness where I want it is a form of healing, and it doesn’t just heal me, it heals the Sonship. Thus, as Jesus says, I am never healed alone. When I place my awareness within on the Presence that I am, that is healing as well and is healing the Sonship at the same time. I imagine others who are struggling with this challenge finding it just a little easier now because of my success, little as it is. I take heart that others are a little ahead of me and their success is helping mine. Then there are those ascended masters who are transmitting to me because I am open to receive and they are helping. We are not alone.

All of this requires that I make a decision. That is the most basic thing that I need to do. First, I make a decision that I want to awaken, then I make a decision to accept that I can and will awaken. I make a decision to do what is necessary in study and practice. I make a decision to accept all the help offered to me. This is how I return to Heaven even while I am still dreaming of separation and that I am in this body. Heaven is a decision I make.

Regina’s Tips

When I am healed I am not healed alone. In Chapter 1 of A Course in Miracles, Jesus says, “I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else.” That is healing, having nothing but that which comes from God. I trust when I am healed, that healing helps others. However, my focus now must be on reaching that healed state, that permanence of “only what I think with God” and nothing else. This is my commitment to myself and everyone.

Heaven is the decision I must make. This decision is not made once, but repeatedly. It is made each day, and it is made throughout the day. Anything that reinforces this decision in me is helpful. Anything that weakens this decision in me needs to be looked at and questioned. A partial decision or a ‘sometimes’ decision is not a decision. Total unwavering commitment is the sign of true decision.

My Thoughts

What I enjoyed most in Regina’s tips is the emphasis on my decision being a minute to minute project. I absolutely agree with that. It is another reason I am so glad that I have learned to be vigilant for my thoughts. Catching these thoughts quickly makes it much easier to change my mind. I understand that a decision is not a decision if it has exceptions and if it wavers according to circumstances.

Past Entry

A while back I discovered my brother was very sick. I experienced a lot of distress about this situation. Here is a message I received while in meditation. It helped me to make a decision for Heaven. My brother is fine now.

Holy Spirit: Myron, the story will play out as it does, and your part will be made clear as it unfolds. Your only desire is to love completely and without conditions each person in the script. The ego believes your job is to defend yourself from death, inconvenience, and fearful situations. That is the ego’s job as it sees it, and at one time you thought it was your goal as well. You do not believe that now, and the wish to defend is just a shadow of an old belief. You will hear that shadow speak, but you will feel My presence beside you as you choose not to believe it.

You are confused about how to pray and that frightens you. As you have done before, give all your concerns and fears to God and then allow Him to enfold you in His peace and love. Allow yourself to be comforted by His certainty and His absolute love for you. Bring your brother and his grandson into the cocoon of Love that is you and your Father. That is all they need as well.

Myron, do not concern yourself with the story. Make your decision for Heaven by knowing that there is no story that in any way negates God’s creation of His perfect Son. Suffering is not part of His plan for anyone and no story, however elaborate, can create what is not part of God. Yes, you can choose to experience something that feels like suffering, but you cannot be that. And when you decide differently it will be as if nothing occurred because nothing occurred.

Remember this: Your thoughts are meaningless. You do not have to believe them. You have real thoughts, which are the thoughts you think with God. As you keep noticing your feelings and your thoughts about this situation, realize that there is something else for you to know. Look at the thought or the feeling and ask Me for the thought that is true. Do not become attached to the meaning you have assigned to these thoughts. Be willing to discard the meaning you have given them so that you can approach with empty hands and accept the truth instead.

As you focus your mind more and more fully on the purpose behind the story, you will not be distracted by the story. The story is fearful and sad only if you give it credence. If you allow your mind to dwell on the story itself you will begin to assign meaning and expectations and will then experience disappointment, fear, and guilt. These effects are not caused by the story itself, but by the meaning you give it. Continue to choose to look with Me instead. Decide for Heaven, Myron, in this as in all things. That is the purpose of time.