Jeshua answered a question about the difference between discernment and judgment. He said that there is no condemnation in discernment, there is just a quiet awareness of what is. He said that in judgment there is an interpretation in which there is some form of right or wrong, good or bad.
My experience of this lesson
I understand the frustrations of driving in traffic because this is how I spend my days as an outside sales rep. I have learned that everyone I meet is someone I called to me for the purpose of healing both myself and that other one. The Holy Spirit seems to work that way; it is never meant for one but for both. I called it to me for my own joy, or to help me let go of what is blocking my joy. So why on earth do I so often resent them and decide they are the ones blocking my happiness? Pretty silly, I know. It¡¦s all part of that whole projection/you are the blame/I am the innocent victim ego thing.
The roads are such a perfect classroom. They offer me so many useful lessons. If I decide to start my journey by reminding myself that there are no jerks on the road, just my loving and helpful brothers who have volunteered to help me learn these lessons, then the whole trip becomes a lot more fun. I will probably forget this as the day goes on and my brothers will mysteriously turn into fools and homicidal maniacs, but then I figure if I remembered the truth all day I wouldn’t need the lesson.
Just yesterday I was nearly run over by a lady who was multitasking and seemed to have no idea she was not alone on the road. I had been thinking about the difference between judgment and discernment. I was thinking that discernment is when I am aware of something happening and how it feels or affects me. It becomes judgment when I decide that it is either a good thing or a bad thing. I was thinking about examples and so the Universe which is my helpful friend sent me what I asked for. I was first aware that a car was swerving into my lane just often enough to worry me and too often to allow me to safely pass her. I noticed that this was provoking a mild sense of anxiety in me and was putting me on alert in case the driver was impaired and things got serious. This was discernment. I noticed that I felt ok, just ready to take action.
It didn’t take long for me to lose my patience and I noticed that I was thinking she should get off the phone and drive. I saw she had passengers and thought she should be aware of her responsibility to them. I thought that I needed to get to the next customer and she was making me late. I noticed that I had gone from discernment to judgment. In discernment I just noticed what was happening and how it made me feel.
In judgment I had decided that she was wrong, bad and at fault. I also noticed that my body reacted by clenching up. I felt angry and defensive. I had to laugh as a cartoon image appeared in my mind’s eye of myself as a woman, shoulder’s hunched, fists tightly gripping the steering wheel, jaw clenched and storm clouds around her head. Of course humor broke the spell and I realized what had just happened. I was back to being grateful that my loving sister answered my call to help me see the difference between judgment and discernment. I was grateful for these harmless and gentle lessons which trigger the adrenaline just enough to catch my attention. I get them all day long.
What I have learned is that these lessons can be gentle or harsh and the biggest difference is in how I choose to see them. I can look at what is happening to me and say to myself, “Oh look, I’m judging. I wonder if I might be willing to simply discern what is happening rather than judging it.” Maybe I will or maybe I will choose to continue judging. I am free to do so, remembering that there are certain things that follow judgment. In this case it is a stiff neck at the end of the day. It also changes my mood and so could affect my ability as a sales person. It fills my mind with dark clouds and so I don’t think as clearly. Still, I am the perfectly free Son of an amazing God and so I can judge if I want to. There is no need for guilt. If I start to feel myself tensing up because I am repeating the same lesson over and over, I will deliberately calm my mind by using gentle and casual words such as I began with, “oh look” and “I wonder if… .” This seems to help me stop and take a new perspective.
The more I practice being the unattached observer the less stress and anxiety I experience as I do these lessons. I am going to get the lessons so I may as well learn to do them with humor and lightness rather than anxiety. I will still feel the anger and fear and all of that, but there will be a part of my mind that remains interested and calm. This is the observer who knows that all parties are innocent and this whole life is just an entertainment with all the aspects of a good movie; drama, horror, some great special effects and of course a love scene or two, not to mention a few tear jerking moments. This observer watches its favorite character, Myron, experiencing all this and is learning from Myron’s reactions. The observer is really who I am, but I have a hard time remembering that and keep identifying with the character which is why I keep forgetting that it is all just good fun. Oh well. I am still learning whether I am having fun or not and that is all the matters because what I am learning is that I am the Son of God and that I am awakening to that reality.
All quotes are used by kind permission of the Shanti Christo Foundation. To buy a copy of this profound book visit their website at www.shantichristo.com. I invite your thoughts and comments.