I. Principles of Miracles, P 39
39 The miracle dissolves error because the Holy Spirit identifies error as false or unreal. This is the same as saying that by perceiving light, darkness automatically disappears.
Journal
Something came up for healing yesterday and I reminded myself that it is not real. I understand, now, what this means. When the Holy Spirit heals my mind, He heals it of the untrue belief that I have been holding onto. It is like I hold up a belief and He tells me, “No, that one is not real.” Or, “Yes, that belief is in alignment with Creation and so it is real.”
Yesterday, when I brought Him this particular belief He declared it unreal. But I didn’t want to let it go. And yet, I did want peace. Perhaps that sounds familiar to you. I told Him that I know He is right, but it feels real to me. I feel anxious and sad when I think of it and those feelings are so strong and so upsetting. How could they not be real? I could feel fear at the idea of releasing this belief, and fear that maybe this time I couldn’t release it.
The ego mind wanted to examine this and discover the source of the belief and make sense of the fear. This is the way the ego keeps the illusion going. It looks at the belief from every angle and makes up stories to explain the feelings and to fortify the belief, or it trades this belief for another false belief.
I’ve played this game for too long to be fooled by it. I left it in Holy Spirit’s hands knowing that He would find a way to help me see differently. Just before I woke up this morning I had a dream of which I remember only a little. I was saying to someone, “You know who you are but don’t accept it. You just have to accept it.”
Then, I told him that I didn’t mean him specifically. “I know who I am but I must accept it.” I thought I was correcting myself because it is my habit to always use “I” statements rather than suggesting I know what someone else knows or doesn’t know, what someone else should or shouldn’t do. But on waking I realized that the message is for me.
I lay there for awhile talking to the Holy Spirit. I asked Him again to heal my mind, and this time I truly meant it. I set aside all ego ideas and every meaning I had given the belief. I remembered that I want to be an empty shell, empty of all ego beliefs of separation. I want to be filled with truth. I renewed my commitment to step aside and be led, to be lived, by Him. I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me who I am.
When I tried to understand my fear and tried to reason it away, I just became more embroiled in it. When I asked the Holy Spirit to look with me, He declared it unreal and it disappeared. It vanished. Truly, it was like turning the light on in a darkened room. Where did the darkness go?
The first time I asked Him to enlighten my mind, I wasn’t quite ready for the light. It was as if I had asked for light and then put my hand on His and said, “Don’t turn it on yet, I want to relish this fear for awhile yet.” I want to shiver in the dark pretending that I am in danger. I want to wallow in self-pity for poor little me who suffers so. I want to pretend for a while longer that I don’t know what to do.
I am so very good at self-deception. I really convinced myself that I was all those things. Only not quite. I can no longer believe myself! I knew I was doing this even while I felt the anxiety. I knew it! I knew that I was going to let it go and part of me suffered until I did, and part of me just waited patiently for end of it. What a strange place I find myself, dreaming I am dreaming I suppose. It makes me laugh thinking about it.