VI. The Treasure of God, P 5
5 God wants only His Son because His Son is His only treasure. You want your creations as He wants His. Your creations are your gift to the Holy Trinity, created in gratitude for your creation. They do not leave you any more than you left your Creator, but they extend your creation as God extended Himself to you. Can the creations of God Himself take joy in what is not real? And what is real except the creations of God and those that are created like His? Your creations love you as you love your Father for the gift of creation. There is no other gift that is eternal, and therefore there is no other gift that is true. How, then, can you accept anything else or give anything else, and expect joy in return? And what else but joy would you want? You made neither yourself nor your function. You made only the decision to be unworthy of both. Yet you cannot make yourself unworthy because you are the treasure of God, and what He values is valuable. There can be no question of its worth, because its value lies in God’s sharing Himself with it and establishing its value forever.
Journal
I don’t know what to say about this. I have creations as does God. They are true creations, that is, they are created as God creates. I long to remember my creations. I also realize that those times when I didn’t feel loved were just an illusion of not feeling loved. My Creator loves me and so do my creations. This love never ends, never changes and is always present. I don’t feel that love because I have chosen to feel something else in its place.
I have convinced myself I would rather keep the drama of the separation idea and that this drama is what I want. But it is not what I want. I want love and peace and joy. This is my true desire. Everything else I think I want is just part of the general confusion I am experiencing because of my choice to identify with what I am not.
The solution to this problem is simple. I notice the times when I think I want something other than God, and I ask that my mind be healed. In this way I lift the veil of confusion and the truth is revealed to me. This morning I felt weepy for no reason I can articulate. I can find a story to explain it, but what would be the point? The story is the effect of the problem, not the problem itself.
At first it was making me crazy and that is because I kept asking the ego mind for an answer and a solution. The ego says it is just a reaction, the pendulum swinging from the excitement and the joy of this weekend, being with others for the purpose of healing. The ego says that I miss my kids and need to visit them. It says that this weekend was fun and that I like having the day off and don’t want to go back to work and that is the problem. But I know that these are just stories I make up to explain something I don’t want responsibility for.
Finally, I just stopped fighting it. I accepted that I feel weepy and that I am willing to feel what I feel without inventing a story to explain it. I remembered that my feelings don’t hurt me. If I am suffering it is because I am at war with myself. I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind, and then let myself feel what I feel. The feeling disappeared. Haha. I stopped fighting it and it disappeared. There is a really good lesson in that experience.