VI. Time and Eternity, P 11
11 When I said “I am come as a light into the world,” I meant that I came to share the light with you. Remember my reference to the ego’s dark glass, and remember also that I said, “Do not look there.” It is still true that where you look to find yourself is up to you. Your patience with your brother is your patience with yourself. Is not a child of God worth patience? I have shown you infinite patience because my will is that of our Father, from Whom I learned of infinite patience. His Voice was in me as It is in you, speaking for patience towards the Sonship in the Name of Its Creator.
I have been thinking about patience this morning. I had an experience of peeking behind the veil only to step back from it pretty quickly. I felt frustration with myself at first, but then I decided to be kind to myself. I decided to be patient, knowing that the outcome is certain. I am a child of God and I am worth patience. Jesus says that he learned infinite patience from His Father and that the Voice that was in him is also in me. So maybe patience is the lesson for me today.
Actually, I shouldn’t be surprised that patience is a lesson I must learn. I caught myself being impatient with a friend who is afraid of something, that to my mind is simple and non-threatening. Then I had to laugh as I thought about some of my fears. I am afraid of heights. My friends who love mountains and love to hike in them and climb them, must think I am silly. And yet, my fear is very real to me. My friend’s fear is just as real to her. Doesn’t she deserve my patience?
I think the reason I felt impatient with her is that I have been impatient with myself. I have felt frustrated that I cannot seem to let go of the fear of heights. There are other things as well that I have problems with, things that I seem to cling to in spite of their seemingly simple solution. I get so frustrated with myself that I feel like crying. But am I, a child of God, not worth patience? And can I have patience for another if I will not give this gift to myself?
Impatience is not a sign that I want freedom so much I can’t wait for it. It is a sign that I am using the ego mind to direct my spiritual path. Uh oh. That is not going to work. If I look to the ego to find myself, I will find my self, but not my Self. Impatience is of the ego, not of God. So when I am impatient with myself or anyone, I know that I am looking for salvation in all the wrong places. ~smile~