ACIM Workbook Daily Lesson 227, Year 2022

ACIM Daily Lesson 227. This is my holy instant of release.

This is my holy instant of release.

Lesson 227

This is my holy instant of release.

1. Father, it is today that I am free, because my will is Yours. ²I thought to make another will. ³Yet nothing that I thought apart from You exists. ⁴And I am free because I was mistaken, and did not affect my own reality at all by my illusions. ⁵Now I give them up, and lay them down before the feet of truth, to be removed forever from my mind. ⁶This is my holy instant of release. ⁷Father, I know my will is one with Yours.

2. And so today we find our glad return to Heaven, which we never really left. ²The Son of God this day lays down his dreams. ³The Son of God this day comes home again, released from sin and clad in holiness, with his right mind restored to him at last.

More and more, I am drawn to the idea of surrender.

I feel like surrendering my illusions. For instance, I was attracted to a beautiful blouse I saw for sale and looked at it for a while and lost interest. And, I watch TV at the end of the day and am losing interest in the shows. I’m not thinking about this and deciding to let these things go; I’m just losing interest in them.

I’ve noticed a desire to defend and saw very clearly the cost of defense and surrendered the idea. I had a thought last night that I wished I had company, and that thought floated away before I could even examine it. It feels like I am being emptied of wants and needs, and it feels freeing. I hadn’t really noticed what was happening until I read today’s lesson and realized that I am laying down my dreams.

Over the years, I have made significant progress in releasing the world.

I am going to share excerpts from several of my past journals about this. Reading them, I can see how I’ve grown over the years as I continue to practice the Course.

Sometimes I have been focused on wanting material things in the world. Other times it is wanting certain people to be with me or other people to not be with me. At one time, I used distractions to bind me to the world. Recently, most of this has fallen away, and now I am paying close attention to wanting to be right and wanting to control my world. I am leaving behind the desire to defend and the impulse to attack.

So it is my mind that I am focused on now. It is all easier, and instead of becoming upset often during the day, I now go days without upset. And the upsets are easily released because I know they are just thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. But this was not always so.

Reading my journal this morning was interesting.

The first posting was made at a time I was learning that I don’t know anything and was just beginning to taste the freedom in that. It also has a discourse between me and Jesus about how split my mind was when it comes to union. It was easy to be ashamed and discouraged when I discovered more petty thoughts in my mind, and Jesus helped with that, too.

IN 2007, I realize that my holy instant of release seems to come as I empty my mind of all I think I know.

I say to the Holy Spirit that I don’t know anything. I don’t know how to pray anymore. And I don’t know what anything means. I am empty-headed, at least for this brief moment before the ego thoughts once again flood my mind. With the ego thoughts comes the mistaken idea that I actually know stuff. I compare what I think I know with what others think they know. I judge whether what I know is enough, is right, is helpful.

But for just an instant, I rest my mind on the truth that I don’t know anything, and I am released from judgment and chaotic thinking. Could I but live this way! This must be heaven. This must be what it is like to exist as Jesus and other Masters exist. To be empty of all but the Love that is God. I offer my mind in this moment of release that I might be a simple conduit for God’s Love. What more could I ask? What more could I want?

Sometimes we can discover unacknowledged thoughts when they show up in dreams.

I awoke from a dream in which my sister was trying to be helpful, and I was telling her that I have vast experience. I was carefully enumerating that experience, proving to her that her help was not needed and that she was being foolish to think it was. It was a discouraging dream, and I immediately asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this thought. It might seem like only a dream, but it is in my mind or it would not be in my dream.

The thoughts I was given are this.

Jesus: My friend, the ego thinking is that you can have or she can have. In the ego, there is no shared experience, shared love, or shared interest. Either she is higher, or you are higher. In this mindset, it is important to stay ahead, and if she thinks she can help you, then you see her as trying to get ahead of you. Imagine that you see yourself leading her up the mountain, and suddenly, there she is, reaching down to give you a hand. Your mind boggles a moment as you try to figure out how she got ahead of you. Then the ego thinks about how to put her back below you on the mountain where you think you need her to be.

Me: Jesus, I don’t want to see her below me, and I don’t want to put her back down. I don’t want to push her away. And yet, I see that clearly in my dream that I was pushing her away and that I did not want her so close to me that she thought she had a right to love me. I don’t want this to be who I am.

Jesus: Of course, you do not want this to be who you are.

Your holy mind balks at the thought your brother is in any way different or separate from you. Your holy mind knows that her words were words of love however they may have sounded. But that energy within you was in opposition to your holiness. It came up in your dream that you might look at it with your holy mind and forgive it. Look with love and with compassion for your errors. They are only errors and not real. There is no reason to be fearful of ego thoughts or to hate yourself for entertaining them.

To be upset is to give power to the idea that they are real. I assure you they are not real, just clouds in the lovely sky of your mind. Look with the Holy Spirit at them as they pass through your mind. Do not be afraid of them; do not judge them; do not make them real. Just be grateful for the opportunity to forgive them and allow them to pass out of your mind.

Me: Thank you for your help in seeing this differently. I woke up with my mind buzzing with disparate thoughts and feeling heavy with self-judgment. Thank you for another way to see this. My heart feels light and in love, and blessedly, in peace.

In the next posting, I see that my mind is clearer.

I have developed a process to help me let go of the ego belief that I am guilty of my thoughts. This morning, I notice that my mind is clearer than it used to be. I notice that when something comes up for healing now, I am quick to see it and quick to give it to the Holy Spirit for healing. I am happy to lay them down at the feet of truth, to be removed forever from my mind. What I see that I still need to watch are those moments of confusion in which I believe the unbelievable. I can sometimes still listen to the ego thoughts of guilt and fear.

The ego says I should not be thinking these thoughts, and if I believe that even for a minute, it can send me whirling into guilt with almost a feeling of panic. This panic is caused by the thought that I was wrong to think that I could be free of the ego and this is proof. Then I remember that there is no guilt. Guilt is just another ego illusion. I remember that these thoughts come from the ego thinking mind. Why would I choose to give credence to the ego? Why would I ask the ego for advice? It is such a silly idea that it snaps me out of my delusion.

I remind myself to let the feelings be.

Let them move through without interference. If I try to do anything with them, if I try to analyze my feelings or my thoughts, if I try to make them go away or suppress them, I am really just holding them close and convincing myself they have some great meaning. If I just sit and watch them, they pass on through.

I think this is the reason I love this prayer, Holy Spirit, “Come into my mind and undo what I have done.” This is the same as laying the thought at the feet of truth so it can be forever removed from my mind. I notice that in this lesson, it does not say that I should try to fix my illusions and then lay them down; it just says to lay them down and let them be removed. Today I gladly and in gratitude lay aside the idea that I have a will that is not God’s Will.

In 2014, the ego is getting more subtle.

This morning, I noticed that I was reading the words without conviction. I had no expectation of this being the morning that would be my holy instant of release. So, I asked myself what I had to do today that was more important than awakening. I stopped and let my mind empty and found my sincere desire to awaken. I sat with it and realized that this is a good day to awaken. And then I felt emotion welling up in me. It was joy, and it is impossible for me to put into words what that felt like. Just saying it is joy is not really describing it.

Then I quickly squelched it. Jeez, why did I do that? I felt afraid at; first, the ego mind saying that this means I don’t want to awaken, I shouldn’t have turned from it, now I can’t have it, I don’t deserve it, the usual ego stuff. But I really don’t believe the ego anymore, so I asked the Holy Spirit to remove from my mind the thoughts that cause fear of waking up. I don’t think of awakening as something far away anymore.

I read my previous postings, and I saw how much has changed.

It happened that I saw a line I thought would be good to use for my Twitter post today. I copied it and pulled up Safari, which opens on Facebook. There I saw a posting on sunscreen and followed it to the video, leading me to another. I watched it for a moment and suddenly realized what had happened. The ego mind offered me a distraction to take me away from the idea of awakening today. Reading Facebook is the thing that is more important than awakening, evidently.

The ego mind wants to stay with the boring but predictable life. It feels safe in this place of “normalcy,” which meets its small expectations. That little peek behind the veil where joy springs up so unexpectedly and with such power is something it doesn’t understand. And it scares it very badly. It wants to slip back into a less threatening life. This is just fear, and fear is not real.

I stand before you again today, Spirit, open and defenseless.

I am in gratitude to have seen what you showed me. Also ready to let this belief in fear and guilt be removed from my mind. I want today to be my day of release. The holy instant is what I want. I lay at the feet of Truth all the ego doubts and all the ego fear that is in my mind, and I wait in patience and certainty as You heal my mind. I trust myself to let go as quickly and completely as I can, and I trust You to do the rest.

2015 brings me to a different place on my path.

And this year, I stand ready for the Holy Instant in which I lay the whole ego belief in separation at the altar and let it be removed. Will it happen today? I don’t know. Yesterday I had three instances of choosing grievances over peace, but I did not get lost in them. Instead, I returned my mind to my only true desire, the desire for the peace of God. For just a moment, I questioned how long this was going to take. I heard the quick answer that it takes as long as it takes. My impatience melted away.

What is the difference this year? I am so much happier and more peaceful than I ever have been. I am absolutely certain of my purpose and am learning to take joy in that purpose. Yes, I hear all the ego chatter, and I fall for the ego distractions. But they are meaningless, and I return my mind to my purpose, and I am at peace and in joy again.

I know that despite the evident senselessness of it, I still value some ego beliefs.

But not much. And I am willing to look with the Holy Spirit at each one or all of them together. I will do this as Holy Spirit directs. I am ready to return my mind to Love regardless of what the ego mind wants. And I continue to be guided by two things Cate Grieves said. Even the slightest desire for something in the world will pull me out of my peace, and I will not compromise. These two ideas are the guiding lights that keep me on track.

By 2019, I discovered an important fact.

As far as I can tell, my thoughts are the only things standing between me and my release. In the first paragraph, Jesus says I thought to make another will, but nothing I think is real. How does this relate to laying down my dreams? When my mind is free of thought, or at least free of any thought that I believe and place my attention on, I am in the present moment. When I listen to my thoughts, I am in my imagination, and I miss the present moment altogether. I am living an illusion and bound by my illusion.

The chatter in my mind is about the past or is a plan for the future. It has nothing to do with what is happening now. I have watched my mind for years now, and this is nearly always true. I have thoughts that I deliberately choose that represent the truth. I have thoughts that are necessary to live in the world, instructional thoughts like when to cross the street and how to cook chili. But most of the chatter in my mind is useless and often painful. At the very least, it prevents me from knowing the truth, that I am innocent, that I am a divine being.

It seems impossible to stop the chatter, but I have slowed it down.

Now, I am aware of the thoughts that persist, the ones that catch my attention and that keep my attention. Those are the ones that I look at with the Holy Spirit and release to Him. Those are the ones that I turn away from, shifting my attention to the moment that is actually occurring. In this way, today, I am laying these beliefs at His feet, and today I accept the holy instant of release. It does not matter that I must do this repeatedly. The repetition is my way of declaring my decision for freedom, and I have proven to myself that this is waking me up.

By 2021, I see the effects of consistent mind watching.

I suppose I have been building toward this for years as I watched my mind for thoughts and beliefs that I could release, and maybe now it just feels more effortless. Cate Grieves talked about ‘wants’ taking away peace, and I saw how true that was. The moment I want something, I am not at peace until I get what I want or become distracted by something else I want.

It feels exhausting to have all these wants in my mind, so I am paying particular attention to the thoughts of wanting. The other day, I began questioning these desires. What do I want? What do I think I need? This desire to know has made them stand out to me, so it seems like I am suddenly filled with wants and needs. But of course, this was always true; It’s just that now I am noticing them.

Today, I am asking the Holy Spirit to look with me at the thoughts of wanting something.

As I do so, I’m asking Him to sort them for me. Instead of deciding what I need, I am asking what it is I need. I feel some resistance to this as I say it. That’s OK. I know the ego doesn’t like to relinquish the right to make these decisions, but I also know that I am not the ego. I don’t have to accept the ego’s feelings; I can also let those go. It is not a sacrifice to live from my holy mind instead of from my ego-mind. I know that much for certain.

And now, in 2022, I am very clear as to what I want.

My purpose is to awaken and help others awaken. My goal is the peace of God and having this peace is what makes it possible to achieve my purpose. I know that I cannot fail and I know that my part is simple and easy. So, I am vigilant for thoughts and feelings so that I can release what causes suffering and binds me to the world. I tend to take it all much more lightly now.

That is not to say that I don’t take my mission seriously, but I don’t worry about it when I make errors. I just take advantage of each one as an opportunity to release what is not helpful to awakening. I do this for myself and for the Sonship. As a result, I am so much more peaceful and happy now than I used to be. I know that the world does not exist, and so nothing here, including these bodies, exists. I know that I am not Myron, and I also know that I am part of Christ. Even when I am caught up in some story of Myron, I still know this.

And I do get caught in stories from time to time.

The most recent happened when my child was lost in his story. My heart ached for him, and I wanted so much to help. But the ego doesn’t understand how to help. It thinks that helping is to fix the story, but that is not what is needed. That is like trying to control a movie by changing something on the screen.

To be truly helpful in this situation, I had to regain my own clarity. A sick mind cannot help another sick mind. I stopped what I was doing, and in the silent stillness of my mind, I found the Holy Spirit. Together we looked at the situation. We looked at the physical manifestation of my anxiety. We looked at the thoughts of doom the ego offered.

Then I opened my mind to true thoughts. I remembered my goal and my purpose and knew that this was all I want. And I remembered the true identity that is my Self and remembered the true identity of my child. The stressful thoughts were laid at the feet of truth, and peace returned to my mind. Now I am happy, and I am free to be helpful to us both.

To enjoy the Pathways of Light Insights on ACIM Lesson 227 click here.

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