ACIM Lesson 5
I am never upset for the reason I think.
W-pI.5.1. This idea, like the preceding one, can be used with any person, situation or event you think is causing you pain. 2 Apply it specifically to whatever you believe is the cause of your upset, using the description of the feeling in whatever term seems accurate to you. 3 The upset may seem to be fear, worry, depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy or any number of forms, all of which will be perceived as different. 4 This is not true. 5 However, until you learn that form does not matter, each form becomes a proper subject for the exercises for the day. 6 Applying the same idea to each of them separately is the first step in ultimately recognizing they are all the same.
W-pI.5.2. When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe to it. 2 For example:
3 I am not angry at _____ for the reason I think.
4 I am not afraid of _____ for the reason I think.
W-pI.5.3. But again, this should not be substituted for practice periods in which you first search your mind for “sources” of upset in which you believe, and forms of upset which you think result.
W-pI.5.4. In these exercises, more than in the preceding ones, you may find it hard to be indiscriminate, and to avoid giving greater weight to some subjects than to others. 2 It might help to precede the exercises with the statement:
3 There are no small upsets. 4 They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind.
W-pI.5.5. Then examine your mind for whatever is distressing you, regardless of how much or how little you think it is doing so.
W-pI.5.6. You may also find yourself less willing to apply today’s idea to some perceived sources of upset than to others. 2 If this occurs, think first of this:
3 I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. 4 For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same.
W-pI.5.7. Then search your mind for no more than a minute or so, and try to identify a number of different forms of upset that are disturbing you, regardless of the relative importance you may give them. 2 Apply the idea for today to each of them, using the name of both the source of the upset as you perceive it, and of the feeling as you experience it. 3 Further examples are:
4 I am not worried about _____ for the reason I think.
5 I am not depressed about _____ for the reason I think.
6 Three or four times during the day is enough.
Initial Insight: This is one of my favorite lessons. I used to think I knew why I was upset and of course, I always thought someone or something upset me. I know better now because of my practice of this lesson as well as all the others. For the sake of practice, though, I don’t go further into the reasoning, but simply do the lesson in faith and trust that Jesus is leading me out of the wilderness of my confused mind.
There are a couple of sentences in this lesson that are very helpful to me. The first is: 3 There are no small upsets. 4 They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind. That is an amazing truth! If I am upset a little then I am not at peace. If I am upset a lot, I am not at peace. See! It doesn’t matter how upset I think I am because any upset disturbs my peace. How did I not know that before the Course? It seems so self-evident when I think about it now.
The other sentence says: 3 I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. 4 For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same.
Jesus doesn’t explain this, he just tells us it is true. Later he will help us to understand it but for now, we just take it on faith assuming that Jesus knows what he is talking about. I will say that this is no longer just something I practice but the way I live my life now. I will keep no upset pretty much for the same reason that all upsets are disturbing to my peace of mind.
Daily Application: I accepted the offer from the owner of the house that I plan to buy. It wasn’t as low as I had hoped and the whole process is more complicated than I realized. Every so often I notice that I feel anxious and realize that I am listening to the ego thoughts about the different parts of this process of selling my home and buying another. The ego has lots of advice and one piece of advice will often conflict with a different piece of advice. No wonder I become anxious if I listen to these thoughts.
This lesson is helpful in seeing this differently. Previous lessons tell me that my thoughts don’t mean anything and this is really clear right now. It is also comforting to know that these thoughts don’t mean anything and so I can stop believing them. Now I am considering how it is that I am not upset for the reason I think. I do accept that it doesn’t matter how upset I am and that I cannot keep this upset. I will ask the Holy Spirit for insights.
Insights from Holy Spirit: You think you are upset because of the uncertainty of the situation and because you don’t know how best to handle it. You feel that you have little control and that frightens you. The desire to drop the whole thing is a clue as to why you think you are upset. You think that it is about selling your home and buying another. But that is not the reason you are upset and that is why running away from the situation will not solve the problem.
Remember that there is only one problem and one solution. You think you have separated from God and you think this leaves you on your own and vulnerable. The solution is that you have not actually accomplished this strange feat and you are not alone. Each time you notice that you are listening to the ego again, you turn away from that voice and toward Me. This is how you remember that you are not alone and you are still part of God.
Surely you have noticed that as you keep doing this, you feel less stress and that it is easily released. Soon, you will not feel any stress at all if you keep up the good work. Wouldn’t you be happier if you just left it all to me and enjoyed the process? You could look forward with happy anticipation to see how it all comes out in the end if you did that. I know this has occurred to you.
The ego keeps pushing you toward fear but you know that is not what you want and that is why you resist the ego. Let’s move past avoiding fear and move toward joy. Each thought you allow to be corrected is uplifting you and all of the Sonship. Let this be your purpose rather than attempting to control and manipulate the story. Yes, there are decisions to make here but I will direct you as you make those decisions as long as you ask me to do so.
Gratitude: Thank you, Holy Spirit. I know you are right and I love living my life like that. Since we looked at this together, I have been very clear what I want to come of this situation. I want this situation to bring me deeper into awakening, clearing my mind of any and all bits of ego thinking, all temptation to follow fear thoughts. I see that I was upset, not because of the houses and the choices, but because I was listening to the ego mind rather than to You. I am grateful that this is no longer a consistent state of mind and that when I do fall into that old habit I see it quickly and with Your help, I easily release it.