ACIM Chapter 9. VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity. P 7-9
ACIM Chapter 9. VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity. P 7-9
VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 7
7 Truth and littleness are denials of each other because grandeur is truth. Truth does not vacillate; it is always true. When grandeur slips away from you, you have replaced it with something you have made. Perhaps it is the belief in littleness; perhaps it is the belief in grandiosity. Yet it must be insane because it is not true. Your grandeur will never deceive you, but your illusions always will. Illusions are deceptions. You cannot triumph, but you are exalted. And in your exalted state you seek others like you and rejoice with them.
I felt exalted at the conferences I used to attend, where I surrounded myself with others like me. And we certainly celebrated! We celebrated our Christ Family. We celebrated the Love that we are and that we are all about. Was there some grandiosity and some littleness in there? Sure. It is hard to avoid completely while there is still some confusion about who we are. The mind returns to the familiar ego thinking when we become careless, at least for a while. When we wake up and live from that awakened state, surely we stop sliding back and forth.
I made the self that wants to be grand and that is afraid it is little.
So I can release that self anytime I want. I don’t need to fight the ego because to do so would be to say the ego is real and a worthy opponent. It is neither. Awakening is a matter of wanting to return home more than I want to remain here. It is a matter of single-minded desire rather than the split mind’s wishing and hoping. The following is a commitment I made for today.
Today, I will remind myself of the truth. I will think about my true nature as the perfect child of a perfect God. I will think about being Love and how much my Father loves me. And I will think about how much I miss my real Life and how much I want to be Home. On this day, I will think about how blessed I am, that I am eternal and unalterable, and I will be glad. I will disregard the ego belief in my grandiosity and remember my grandeur.
VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P8
8 It is easy to distinguish grandeur from grandiosity, because love is returned and pride is not. Pride will not produce miracles, and will therefore deprive you of the true witnesses to your reality. Truth is not obscure nor hidden, but its obviousness to you lies in the joy you bring to its witnesses, who show it to you. They attest to your grandeur, but they cannot attest to pride because pride is not shared. God wants you to behold what He created because it is His joy.
I used to believe the ego when it told me I was less than others. This was the lie most familiar to me and the one I found easiest to believe. So when the ego offered me grandiosity, it was a nice change, and so I would readily accept it. It was harder for me to believe, so I would look for proof to sustain the belief. When I received compliments, I saw this as the proof I needed, and when none came, I would be devastated.
In order to accept grandiosity, I had to see someone else as less than.
That is an attack on that one, and also on me because I had to believe we were separate in order to do this. Here is an example. When I first started teaching, I would ask Spirit to speak through me, and the student would like what he heard. He would remark on how helpful I was, and I would feel pride.
I would be relieved because I was so unsure of myself, and I compared myself to other teachers who seemed so much better than me. So this offering of grandiosity felt like a real boon to me, but it was always followed by the ego’s other offering, littleness. I would realize that I had taken the Holy Spirit’s credit, even if it were only in my mind. And I would feel guilty for that and afraid.
I would feel bad because my need to be “better than” was an attack on every other teacher. It was like I was standing on them in order to appear bigger. I felt depressed because I was teaching myself that separation is real and that the only way to succeed in the world is to hurt others or at least to be seen as better than others. I wasn’t allowing myself to be aware of all this, but I knew it. We always know what is happening even as we hide that knowledge from ourselves. As with all ego gifts, the grandiosity came with a high price tag.
I kept doing the work, though, and my mind was healed more and more.
Now, when I teach and receive compliments, I know that the Holy Spirit came through me clearly. I am so grateful for that and so pleased to be doing my part. I don’t need to be better than anyone else. As I do what I am guided to do, and each of the other teachers does what they are guided to do, together, we offer what is needed. One person needs to hear what I allowed through, and someone else needs to hear what another teacher offered. All the parts come together as a whole.
I am not afraid to say that I sometimes channel fairly clearly what is given. I don’t feel proud; I feel joyous. It is not grandiosity because it is not of the little ego me. I am simply stepping out of the way as much as I can to allow something to come through. That is my grandeur. I am God’s Son, His holy child. I am part of the Christ Mind. And I am the light of the world, and it is my function to save the world. The ego thinks this is grandiosity, but it is simple truth.
VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 9
9 Can your grandeur be arrogant when God Himself witnesses to it? And what can be real that has no witnesses? What good can come of it? And if no good can come of it the Holy Spirit cannot use it. What He cannot transform to the Will of God does not exist at all. Grandiosity is delusional, because it is used to replace your grandeur. Yet what God has created cannot be replaced. God is incomplete without you because His grandeur is total, and you cannot be missing from it.
Jesus is going to a lot of trouble to convince me that it is okay for me to claim my grandeur. He must know that I will be uncertain about that. I have been taught that it is arrogant to think of myself in those terms, even sacrilegious. If I see myself as the Son of God, and if I claim my holiness and use that holiness, if I accept that I am, indeed, the savior of the world, I will be slapped down and put into my place.
Will I be taking a huge chance in drawing attention to myself?
After all, I have spent all of time hiding from God, keeping a low profile so I won’t be noticed. I have pointed to my brother as the guilty one. Now, I suddenly stand up straight and claim my inheritance. That is quite a difference; the ego warns me against this. But Jesus says that this is not only acceptable but also my function. I am to be the light of the world. By fulfilling my function, I am saving myself and all of the Sonship with me.
I am irreplaceable in the Mind of God. I am loved forever. As I begin to remember this is true, I allow my mind to be healed. As I allow my brother’s grandeur to be revealed to me, I see my brother in all his glory and finally accept my own grandeur. I return my awareness to the Mind of God, where I truly exist—where you truly exist.
Regina Dawn Akers is the scribe of The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament. I gained so much from the study of this book, that I like to share it with others. If you are interested, you can get it from Amazon by clicking Here. It is also available as an ebook and from Audible.
