ACIM Chapter 9. I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 7, 8

ACIM Chapter 9. I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 7, 8

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 7

7 You may insist that the Holy Spirit does not answer you, but it might be wiser to consider the kind of questioner you are. You do not ask only for what you want. This is because you are afraid you might receive it, and you would. That is why you persist in asking the teacher who could not possibly give you what you want. Of him you can never learn what it is, and this gives you the illusion of safety. Yet you cannot be safe from truth, but only in truth. Reality is the only safety. Your will is your salvation because it is the same as God’s. The separation is nothing more than the belief that it is different.

As I read this paragraph, two ideas came to my attention: first, that I might believe that the Holy Spirit does not answer me, and second, that separation is the belief that my will is different from God’s Will. Looking at the first idea that the Holy Spirit sometimes does not answer, I remember that I used to be tortured by that belief. I would ask and ask, and it would seem that I would ask in vain, and this would frighten me.

If I ask for help from the Holy Spirit and I don’t receive it, that would mean that I am wrong about everything. It would mean the Course is not true. Since I have put all my apples in that particular basket, that would be very frightening, indeed. Eventually, I came to the same conclusion as is said here in this paragraph. It is never the Holy Spirit that fails to answer; it is myself that fails to question correctly.

Here is an example from a previous journal of a time that helped me become a believer.

If I feel anxious about not having enough time to do my spiritual work before I have to go to work, I know that I believe in lack and time as absolutes, so I ask that my mind be healed of that belief. That sounds like a perfect question of the Holy Spirit, and I should feel relief after asking and receiving. However, I have noticed that sometimes I ask for help with this problem, and nothing changes. I remain anxious.

What has happened is that receiving an answer to this problem with time would mean turning my world upside down. If time is not real and can be as elastic as I want because it is not real, nothing is certain anymore. We may as well throw gravity out the window, too. My fear of change of this magnitude is greater than the fear I will have to choose between my spiritual commitment and my job.

Lack is such a cornerstone of my belief system that I cannot really imagine life without it.  In other words, I ask for the belief in lack to be gone, but I don’t really believe it can happen. I am reminded of the scene in Star Wars where Luke was attempting to levitate his spaceship out of a bog. He said to Yoda, “All right, I’ll give it a try.” And Yoda said, “No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.” When Luke failed and Yoda did it easily, he said, “I don’t believe it.” And Yoda said, “That is why you fail.” I am like Luke. I know it can be done, but I just can’t believe I can do it.

In both cases, the Holy Spirit is not failing in His answer to me.

I am failing in my questioning. I am afraid to ask of the One Who would answer me surely, and so I am asking the ego mind. The ego mind tells me what it believes. Time is real, and lack is a certainty. And so, I am able to continue believing in my story of separation, pretending to myself that I tried. I know what Yoda would say about that! ~smile~

The way I have dealt with this is to chip away at the belief one circumstance at a time. I need time to finish writing my commentary, and I remember that Jesus said he would arrange time for me if I would let him and so I do. So I finished the work, got it posted, and still met my customers on time, and I am amazed that I did all of that in less time than was possible.

I am like Luke, watching Yoda do the seemingly impossible. But each time it happens, I lose some of the certainty about time being real. I lose a lot of the fear that maybe Jesus is right and time is something I made up. Now that this has happened over and over, the surprise is that I still believe in time. I still get anxious about it. Jeez, what is it going to take? The same thing happens with lack. I work with the circumstances one at a time until I have built my willingness to allow total healing.

Now, the second issue.

It is that separation is no more than the belief that my will is different from God’s Will. This rings so true for me now. I know it did not always feel right, and in fact, for a while, it felt threatening in a way I was unwilling to examine too closely. I just didn’t want to give up my separate will, and so I couldn’t accept that I shared God’s Will.

That is slowly reversing itself, though. I still have resistance, but it is lessening by the day. I now quite willingly face the old beliefs wherever they surface and allow my mind to be healed. As this belief is undone, the entire ego thought system is undone.

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 8

8 No right mind can believe that its will is stronger than God’s. If, then, a mind believes that its will is different from His, it can only decide either that there is no God or that God’s Will is fearful. The former accounts for the atheist and the latter for the martyr, who believes that God demands sacrifices. Either of these insane decisions will induce panic, because the atheist believes he is alone, and the martyr believes that God is crucifying him. Yet no one really wants either abandonment or retaliation, even though many may seek both. Can you ask the Holy Spirit for “gifts” such as these, and actually expect to receive them? He cannot give you something you do not want. When you ask the Universal Giver for what you do not want, you are asking for what cannot be given because it was never created. It was never created, because it was never your will for you.

There are so many ways I ask for what I don’t want.

I ask for what the ego wants, but I am not the ego. The ego always thinks the solution is in the story, in the world of time and space. It prays for more money, a better relationship, a healthier body. If I think I am an ego, if I am highly identified with the ego mind, I believe these things will give me what I want.

As my mind has healed and I have begun to identify more closely with the self that God created, I realize that these are simply symbols of what it is I truly want. I want to be happy and peaceful. The ego mind thinks that having these things will give me peace and joy. But, while I may achieve a different relationship, a healthier body, or more money, it is all temporary, and the satisfaction is temporary. When I ask for what is not real, I ask it of the giver of the unreal. All the ego has to offer are shifting forms.

What I have learned is that I really want peace that never ends and joy that is unaffected by anything.

I want to remember what I am and I want to return to full and open communication with God. This is a true prayer, and it has been answered. I am accepting that answer as quickly and fully as I am able. Within that answer, all things needed are provided. If what I have asked for (and if it is in my life, I asked for it) does not bring me full joy, then it is not the will of God, and so it is not my will. It is the ego’s separate will, and I know that I can and want to choose again, this time asking for my true will.

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