ACIM III. Love Without Conflict, P 7. It has never really entered your mind to give up every idea you ever had that opposes knowledge.
ACIM Chapter 4, III. Love Without Conflict, P 7
III. Love Without Conflict, P 7
7 It has never really entered your mind to give up every idea you ever had that opposes knowledge. You retain thousands of little scraps of fear that prevent the Holy One from entering. Light cannot penetrate through the walls you make to block it, and it is forever unwilling to destroy what you have made. No one can see through a wall, but I can step around it. Watch your mind for the scraps of fear, or you will be unable to ask me to do so. I can help you only as our Father created us. I will love you and honor you and maintain complete respect for what you have made, but I will not uphold it unless it is true. I will never forsake you any more than God will, but I must wait as long as you choose to forsake yourself. Because I wait in love and not in impatience, you will surely ask me truly. I will come in response to a single unequivocal call.
Freedom from Obstructive Beliefs
I read this paragraph, and then I went back and read it slowly out loud. I am going to copy it and re-read it often. It finally occurred to me that I must give up every idea that opposes knowledge. I watch my mind vigilantly for those scraps of fear that block the Holy One from entering. I ask Jesus to step around this wall of fear I have constructed and to help me undo what I have done.
As I am ready to let some false beliefs go, I ask for correction. Sometimes, I have some resistance and will pick it back up again, but I will just repeat the process. I will do this as often as it takes to convince myself that I am ready to be free of the obstructing belief. Jesus patiently waits on me to be sure this is what I want, but then he answers me and does so as often as it takes.
There are some scraps of fear that I seem to need to let go in bits. I let go a little at a time. I peel back a layer and discard it, then when I am ready, I approach it again and work on the next layer. Jesus, again, is patient with me and works with me as I take this gentle approach. He would not want me to move so fast that I would retreat into fear.
The Ego’s Fears are not My Fears
Here is what used to happen. The really stubborn beliefs, the ones I was most resistant to, seemed to hide behind confusion. I would think that I just don’t understand. I would be unable to find the obstructing belief. Sometimes, I would forget what it is I am forgiving. I would even forget how to forgive. The stories representing the hidden beliefs didn’t seem like “big deals.” But really, it isn’t the story that matters, but the belief that made the story. Calling it a little thing, unimportant and unworthy of my time, was just another way to hide the belief and prevent myself from asking for healing. All errors are equal, and none are bigger or worse; they are simply true or not true.
Sometimes even now, I will ask for healing of something, and as I ask, I hear the reluctance. There is a palpable lack of conviction in my voice. I used to hate it when that happened because I didn’t know what to do about it. Here is an example of an occasion when I felt trapped by my foolish desires. I had asked Jesus to help me with a false belief, and I knew I wasn’t being unequivocal. I wanted to feel better but I didn’t want to change my mind.
So, I told Jesus I needed help to let go of that reluctance. Then I had the thought that I know there is an ego desire to hide this scrap of fear, but I am not the ego, and “I” don’t want it. “I” want to be free! I am willing to see whatever needs to be seen. Please look with me, Jesus. Then it was done!
The Wall I Built
I am continuing to look at this paragraph because there were a few things I wanted to allow myself to contemplate. I sat with this idea: Light cannot penetrate through the walls you make to block it, and it is forever unwilling to destroy what you have made. The light is truth or what makes it possible to become aware of the truth.
I put up a wall between myself and my Self, the self I made, and my true Self. This wall consists of separation beliefs, and the foundation on which it is built is guilt. It prevents me from knowing the truth and yet, as Jesus tells me in the Course, the truth is in my mind. So, I see the wall as splitting my mind. This wall can be undone for me if I desire to have it undone.
As I accept correction of an erroneous belief, a stone is removed from the wall. Now I have more light and see more of what is behind the wall. This motivates me to be even more vigilant for dark thoughts. In this way, the wall comes down, and without the wall of false beliefs, there is only light, and I see clearly. Since doing a lot of this work, I am less identified with the dark side than I used to be and more identified with my awakening self.
Scraps of Fear
Here is an example of scraps of fear that I am still experiencing. My son is out of work and is now sick. The ego mind is busy imagining stories of lack and loss. He is living with me, and what if I can’t afford this expense any longer? What then? The hurricane season has already begun. The temperatures have been exceedingly high, and this warms up the waters in the Gulf. I live within 30 minutes of the gulf, and we have had some devastating hurricanes recently. If I give my attention to either of these forms of the belief in fear, lack, and in loss, the stories will grow, and these beliefs will take over my mind.
Thank goodness, I know what is happening, and I know what to do with these beliefs. These are just opportunities to see what is in my mind that still needs to be healed. I call on the Holy Spirit to look with me at these fears, and I am so grateful to let Him heal my mind. Could any of these things happen? Yes. But without fear thoughts, they are just something to deal with, not catastrophes. Without fear, I just wait to see what happens. It’s a very different experience.
Then Jesus Says This
I will love you and honor you and maintain complete respect for what you have made, but I will not uphold it unless it is true.
Honestly, I am crying as I read this. Jesus loves me, just like the song says. “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Course tells me so.” (giggle) He loves me, and he respects me, and he honors me. Again, I must ask myself, who am I? I am not this ego self that I made, and I never was. I never will be. When I read this paragraph, I could hardly believe that I live such a small life and that I actually believe in it at any moment.
No matter how small I pretend to be, I am safe. I will never be forsaken. I am so treasured and loved that no matter what stories I tell myself, I am still exactly as I was created. What a brother Jesus is! He found the way out for all of us and now dedicates himself to bringing us with him. He is infinitely patient, and he is only loving. And he never loses sight of the truth, no matter what crazy stories we make up.
Jesus Is the Proof
He is the proof that I am not the self I made. He is also the model for how I will live. If I should feel like shaking some sense into someone, I will remember the model Jesus gave me. I will love my brother and honor him and maintain complete respect for what he has made. Nor will I support the wrong-minded thinking of my brother, but neither will I judge him nor try to change him. I will know the truth and will hold that truth and wait patiently for him to find that truth himself. My knowing will make it easier for him to do that. My impatience would not.
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