ACIM I. Innocence is incapable of sacrificing anything, because the innocent mind has everything and strives only to protect its wholeness.
ACIM I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 5,6
I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 5
5 I have been correctly referred to as “the lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world,” but those who represent the lamb as blood-stained do not understand the meaning of the symbol. Correctly understood, it is a very simple symbol that speaks of my innocence. The lion and the lamb lying down together symbolize that strength and innocence are not in conflict, but naturally live in peace. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God” is another way of saying the same thing. A pure mind knows the truth and this is its strength. It does not confuse destruction with innocence because it associates innocence with strength, not with weakness.
This idea that strength and innocence are not in conflict took me a long time to understand and accept. I used to keep a picture of the lion and lamb lying together because I wanted that to be true, and I wanted to believe it. But my mind was steeped in fear, and I could not let go of the idea that if the lamb was going to hang out with the lion, he had better get some body armor and a good sharp sword.
Why Defend Myself?
I finally understand now that the belief that I am guilty and not innocent makes me think I am weak and need protection. As I have been learning to allow the guilty beliefs to be healed, I have also let go of the need to defend myself. Here is an example of this. Sometimes when I am doing this writing, something comes through that is not at my level of understanding I feel afraid and defenseless.
In other words, Jesus tells me something I didn’t get from my current understanding of the Course, and I am afraid to write it. I do write it down because I have come to trust the Voice within, but I feel a little thrill of fear each time. This is because I am afraid of getting it wrong. I am afraid of being called out on it. It is not a strong fear anymore, but just a shadow of an old fear that used to be strong. In fact, it is just a whisper of fear now, but I still hear the warning voice in my head.
The Lion and the Lamb
When I used to be very afraid, I felt like I was the metaphoric lamb, and the other students of the Course represented the lion. I felt like they would read what I wrote and would “eat me alive” as the lion would the lamb. Or, more realistically, would think or say that I was wrong, arrogant, a failed Course student, all the things I sometimes thought about myself. (Projection, right?)
Because of my fear, I would sometimes spend a lot of time trying to find passages in the Course that supported what I said. I would worry about it and argue with myself about posting it. I would doubt myself and think I should just delete the part I didn’t get through my study but was just given to me. All these things were the weapons of defense I thought I needed because I was guilty and would be found out and attacked for my guilt. In my guilt, I felt weak and defenseless.
Now I Lie Peacefully with the Lambs
Now, I simply write what I get and enjoy the surprise. It might be that I don’t always get it exactly right, but that’s ok. I am not the sage with all the answers, but the student sharing with fellow students and learning right along with them. Some might criticize or doubt me, and that’s ok, too. It brings up all sorts of useful forgiveness lessons, which I welcome for all of us. In my perceived innocence, I am strong and need no defense.
I can now lie with the lions and feel peaceful because I don’t feel guilty and don’t expect attack. If attack comes, I know that it is a reflection of someone else’s fear and guilt, and I know how that feels. If I do feel attacked and react to that attack, I am happy to have noticed that something within my mind still needs healing. I cannot ask for healing if I don’t know the error is there. It’s all good.
6 I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 6
6 Innocence is incapable of sacrificing anything, because the innocent mind has everything and strives only to protect its wholeness. It cannot project. It can only honor other minds, because honor is the natural greeting of the truly loved to others who are like them. The lamb “taketh away the sins of the world” in the sense that the state of innocence, or grace, is one in which the meaning of the Atonement is perfectly apparent. The Atonement is entirely unambiguous. It is perfectly clear because it exists in light. Only the attempts to shroud it in darkness have made it inaccessible to those who do not choose to see.
One morning as I began this meditative experience, Jesus showed me how pervasive guilt was in my mind. I felt really tired the night before, and I overslept that morning. When I woke up, I was concerned about getting this meditation done, posting it, and still getting to work at a reasonable time. I remembered that time is no more real than anything else. And that Jesus offered to manipulate time, so I gave it to him.
I still felt tired, so I was moving slowly and was easily distracted. I took time to read about the Supreme Court’s considerations of gay marriage and checked out Facebook. Suddenly I realized that it was really late and I had a moment of panic. I read the paragraph for today, which talks about guilt.
Did I Deserve Help?
I wanted to accept Jesus’ help with the time thing because I really was behind, but I noticed that I hesitated. When I looked at the hesitation, I saw that I felt guilty for getting distracted and wasting time. My guilt said that I did not deserve help because I goofed off instead of getting right to work. And yet, I cannot be guilty, can I? So, I asked for the Atonement, and suddenly, my asking was very emotional.
I started crying as I asked that my heart be cleaned of the ugly stain of guilt. I know it is of my own making that God has never called me guilty. It seems like such a little thing, but feeling guilty for spending too much time on Facebook is just a small expression of a huge fear. It is guilt itself, leaving a little tiny footprint.
Footprints of Guilt
I was not actually asking that the footprint be wiped clean. I was asking for the Atonement for guilt itself. My willingness allowed me to see the footprints guilt left behind all day yesterday. And I saw the many ways I projected that guilt and fear onto others. No wonder I was so exhausted when I went to bed, and no wonder I woke up tired. I had failed to acknowledge the guilt and fear and so did not ask for healing.
When I accepted the Atonement that morning, I cried because I suddenly saw how I had, in my mind, darkened the beauty of my soul with guilt. I did it when I claimed guilt for myself and when I projected guilt onto others. It felt incredibly sad to me at that moment. It also felt like relief because I am not without help.
I cried from gratitude as I realized that Jesus is with me, very literally, and answers me when I call. I can make myself feel guilty and look guilty, but I cannot change my reality. My reality is that I am innocent. Through the Atonement, my “sins” were taken away so that I could feel my innocence.
To Read Daily Inspiration by Pathways of Light, CLICK HERE.