ACIM VI. Fear and Conflict, P 1, 2. Being afraid seems to be involuntary; something beyond your own control.
ACIM VI. Fear and Conflict, P 1, 2
VI. Fear and Conflict, P 1
1 Being afraid seems to be involuntary; something beyond your own control. Yet I have said already that only constructive acts should be involuntary. My control can take over everything that does not matter, while my guidance can direct everything that does, if you so choose. Fear cannot be controlled by me, but it can be self-controlled. Fear prevents me from giving you my control. The presence of fear shows that you have raised body thoughts to the level of the mind. This removes them from my control, and makes you feel personally responsible for them. This is an obvious confusion of levels.
Well, Jesus is absolutely right that it does seem like fear is involuntary. I fear heights, and when confronted by what I fear, it seems like I have no control over that fear. It feels like it is being up high that causes the fear, and my only relief is to get back on flat ground. Jesus says that I am wrong about this. He says that I can control fear, and it is important that I do so.
Level Confusion
When I try to control the situation and the effect of the projection, I am suffering from level confusion. My problem is not heights, and I won’t solve the problem by staying on flat ground. If I stay at this level, the level of effect rather than cause, I will not correct the problem, which is not in the world but in my mind. Though it seems easy enough.
After all, there is not a single mountain in Louisiana. But then I notice I can’t always stay here. Trying to control the situation becomes very complicated when someone invites me to give a workshop in a mountainous area. Then I would have to save myself by not going. This is not an acceptable solution.
What I have noticed is that the more I try to control the fear by controlling the situation, the more fearful I become. It seems like my fear of heights is exacerbated the more I do this, and I also become fearful of my failure to control the fear. It is like a snowball rolling downhill and getting bigger and bigger as it goes. I have taken control of the fear through my desire to control on the level of form and now am on my own.
My fear and my desire to control have prevented the Holy Spirit from helping me. Feeling like I am on my own is frightening in itself because it emphasizes the real problem, which is I think I am separated from God. Now I am further frightened because I am peeking at some of that unconscious guilt about the separation. Do you see how the snowball picks up more and more fear as it builds momentum? Paragraph 2 is going to help.
VI. Fear and Conflict, P 2
2 I do not foster level confusion, but you must choose to correct it. You would not excuse insane behavior on your part by saying you could not help it. Why should you condone insane thinking? There is a confusion here that you would do well to look at clearly. You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think. You cannot separate yourself from the truth by “giving” autonomy to behavior. This is controlled by me automatically as soon as you place what you think under my guidance. Whenever you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you have allowed your mind to miscreate and have not allowed me to guide it.
The Solution
The solution to fear is to recognize the level confusion and to let go of trying to control the situation, thus moving to the level of cause. As I realize that it is my thinking that needs correction and not my behavior, I am on the right road. I cannot hand Jesus my fear and ask him to make it go away. I cannot control the situation or learn to avoid what triggers my fear. But as I realize that it is my mind that needs to be healed, I give my thoughts and beliefs to the Holy Spirit. Now I am moving toward a solution.
It seems so simple when I say it like this. And in truth, it is simple, but it becomes complicated in my mind as I practice it. I say to Holy Spirit that I want to be healed of my fear of heights. But then I remember how terrified I was when I had my little adventure riding up Cripple Creek with Regina. Then I change my mind and tell Him that I don’t ever want to do this again. This brings me back to level confusion as I want to control the fear by controlling the situation. Sigh.
I don’t know how anyone else does this, but my process is to notice my thoughts and my emotional reaction to those thoughts and the situations. When I see that I am afraid, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. When I notice level confusion, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I do this as often as there is fear in my mind. I realize that it is not actually the fear of heights that is the problem, but the belief in fear.
Nothing to Fear
Jesus tells us that there is nothing to fear. This is the real lesson that I am learning. Mountains are just a symbol of my belief that there really is something to fear. Avoiding mountains will not heal my mind of the belief in fear. As I let go of trying to control fear at the level of form, trying to let go of fear through manipulating the symbol, I turn to Jesus for help.
I understand that the problem is in my mind, and this is something I can get help with. In fact, it is not my job to heal my mind; it is only my job to recognize the need for healing and to desire healing. The reason I continue to ask for healing over and over is not that the Holy Spirit is failing to hear me or answer my call. It is because I am convincing myself that I really do want healing.
When I ask that the Holy Spirit heal my mind, the ego voice says that I am crazy. It says that I will wind up back on a mountain, reminding me of the awful fear I felt. I listen to that voice, and I become too afraid to turn it over to Holy Spirit, so I take it back. Then, later when I notice the fear in my mind, I ask Holy Spirit to heal it. You would think this was an endless cycle and nothing was happening, but that is not true.
I am Always Answered
Each time I ask, I am answered. It is like a layer of fear is peeled away and then another layer. When it is all gone, nothing will be left but joy and peace. I don’t think this is literal, but it is the way it feels to me. In truth, the moment I asked for healing, it was done, but I was not ready to accept it right away. That was the peeling away part.
When it comes to heights, my thinking has been insane. I take responsibility for my thinking, and I make a clear choice to place what I think under your guidance, Jesus. I ask that you guide me now. If I become afraid again, I know you will wait for me to return my mind to you. Thank you for your infinite patience.
Other Ways Fear Shows Up
There are many ways that fear can show up. If I don’t like the politics of the day, I can become afraid. The same for believing someone I love is choosing to do things that will cause him to suffer. Or if I were to be afraid of getting Alzheimer’s, cancer, or any other physical ailment, it is the same. There are not many things to fear. There is just the belief in fear, the belief that I am subject to the world’s laws rather than God’s laws. It is the belief that I am separate from God.
Because it is not an unlimited number of problems, but rather only one, forgiveness is simple. The problem is not anything in the world. The problem is in my mind. Now that I am approaching the issue at the level of cause, I take responsibility for my thoughts and place my thinking under Jesus’ guidance. My mind returns to its natural, peaceful state.
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