ACIM Chapter 13. VI. Finding the Present, P 4, 5

ACIM Chapter 13. VI. Finding the Present, P 4, 5

VI. Finding the Present, P 4

4 Time can release as well as imprison, depending on whose interpretation of it you use. Past, present and future are not continuous, unless you force continuity on them. You can perceive them as continuous, and make them so for you. But do not be deceived, and then believe that this is how it is. For to believe reality is what you would have it be according to your use for it is delusional. You would destroy time’s continuity by breaking it into past, present and future for your own purposes. You would anticipate the future on the basis of your past experience, and plan for it accordingly. Yet by doing so you are aligning past and future, and not allowing the miracle, which could intervene between them, to free you to be born again.

“You would anticipate the future on the basis of your past experience, and plan for it accordingly.” This seems so normal to me that it is hard to think about changing it. For instance, it is hurricane season, and I have many thoughts about it. I think about the last time we had a bad hurricane in our area. I think about what that was like and what I did and failed to do. I think about what I will do if it happens again. That I would think about the past and use that memory as a way to plan for the future seems reasonable and I wonder if I can stop doing this.

How do I live in the world without this behavior? 

And yet, I notice that this kind of thinking binds me to the world. It is also stressful, and it robs me of peace. I used to tell myself that all this planning was a way to reduce stress and be peaceful. I would get the plan down pat, and then I would feel prepared and, therefore, peaceful. But years of trying this has proven me wrong about that. It does not lead to peace because there is no controlling the illusion.

Lately, I have tried something else. I have noticed that I can be aware that it is hurricane season and that I might have to do something about it at some point. I can stop at that point and ask the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and actions when and if I need to do anything. Until that time, I can rest in God and be peaceful and happy. Now, it is not always easy to do this because I have not made it a habit yet to think like this.

I am using Rules for Decision to form a new habit. When I notice that my mind has wandered back to the past and is trying to anticipate the future based on that past, I return to the Rules for Decision process and do it again. I remember to cancel out the question I asked ego. I don’t want to ask ego what to do about hurricane season.

I want to remember to decide for God rather than ego.

I notice how I don’t like how I feel when I make plans on my own. I hope I am wrong to think this is the way to peace. I want another way to see, and I know from experience that there is another way. I remember there may be another way to see, and I consider that it would not hurt to ask. What could I lose by asking the Holy Spirit to help me see differently?

To the ego, it might seem impossible and even irresponsible to ignore the lessons of the past and to depend only on Inner Guidance to decide the future. But to the mind that wants peace and that wants to wake up, it is not only possible but essential that I do so. I want to stop using time to continue the story of separation. I will make no compromises with that. It seems like it will take a miracle to overcome doubt, uncertainty, and even fear as I retrain the mind, but so be it. I will stop using the past to determine the future. I will let the miracle intervene.

VI. Finding the Present, P 5

5 The miracle enables you to see your brother without his past, and so perceive him as born again. His errors are all past, and by perceiving him without them you are releasing him. And since his past is yours, you share in this release. Let no dark cloud out of your past obscure him from you, for truth lies only in the present, and you will find it if you seek it there. You have looked for it where it is not, and therefore have not found it. Learn, then, to seek it where it is, and it will dawn on eyes that see. Your past was made in anger, and if you use it to attack the present, you will not see the freedom that the present holds.

“His errors are all past, and by perceiving him without them you are releasing him.”

Oh my, what a thought! Everyone’s errors are gone and do not exist anymore. They are in the past, and the past doesn’t exist, so the errors do not exist. Those things I did that shamed me and that I tried to forgive but could not forgive because I thought they were real and present do not exist after all.

I hold them in my mind and refuse to let them go, so I think they are real and that they haunt me. But no! They do not exist at this moment. I can try to keep them alive if I want to suffer, but they are alive only in memory. Why would I want them to have life when they have none? I used to think that I had no choice, that I was a victim of my past actions, and that I could not hide from them for long. But that is not true. To keep the memory alive, I must choose to do so and work at it. So, I am not the victim, but the victimizer, and I can stop doing this by simply choosing to stop, just as I chose to perpetuate the past.

It is the same with my brother. I know only my thoughts about him, and those thoughts are not even current. They are thoughts I had in the past that I keep dragging along with me everywhere I go. I was talking about this with my friend Alisha. As I stated this fact, I looked at her and wondered who she was. How could I know if I only believe my thoughts, and those thoughts, as limiting as they are, were formed in the past?

Maybe I cannot know her with my thinking mind at all.

But perhaps if I were to leave the past and in this present moment, desire to know her, something beautiful and perfect would be revealed. I really want to know Alisha. Would I be willing to give up my death grip on the thinking mind and on the past and just be open to the truth? I have been bound to my ancient desire for separation for so long that this would take a miracle. But the miracle is available to me.

“…truth lies only in the present, and you will find it if you seek it there.” What does this present moment offer me? It offers me a miracle. It offers me a clean slate, a way to start over, leaving the angry past behind. It offers me release and freedom. Or it can be just another moment like the last, but only if I insist upon it. Truth is available to me, but it is not to be found in the past, but only in this moment. And it cannot be layered over past errors. They must be released to reveal the truth that is there.

I was thinking about something that happened last week.

I thought I had let go of a past grievance but then noticed that I was perpetuating it in a conversation. I felt really bad about that. I wanted to take it back, to start the conversation over and do it better. That would have been the perfect time to stamp it done. I imagine red ink on a big stamp coming down on that memory. “Done! Over! Forget it!” Ha ha ha.

Instead, I pushed it to the back and thought of other things. So, it stayed with me as if it was something real and eternal. In a quiet moment that I thought was dedicated to peace, it would pop up again as if it had a life of its own and was determined to punish me for my transgression. Finally, I looked at it, saw it for the lifeless thing it was, and let it go. Now, I think of it as a teaching device and nothing more. Perhaps the desire for that grievance died with it.

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