VI. The Illusion of Needs. 1 You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness.
VI. The Illusions of Needs, P 1
VI. The Illusion of Needs
1 You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness. No learning is acquired by anyone unless he wants to learn it and believes in some way that he needs it. While lack does not exist in the creation of God, it is very apparent in what you have made. It is, in fact, the essential difference between them. Lack implies that you would be better off in a state somehow different from the one you are in. Until the “separation,” which is the meaning of the “fall,” nothing was lacking. There were no needs at all. Needs arise only when you deprive yourself. You act according to the particular order of needs you establish. This, in turn, depends on your perception of what you are.
In the beginning, there was everything, and nothing was lacking. There was not even a concept of lacking or of needs. Then came the “fall” or the “separation from God,” in which we began to imagine that things were different. We experienced ourselves in a state of separation, separate from God, separate from each other, each thing separate from us and from every other thing.
Space and time seem to exist, and everything is further separated. Now it seemed that I could be different from you and I could be in a different place at a different time. Now it seems that I could have something others don’t have. This had never been possible until now because before, there was only one whole, and there was no separation. Separation feels wrong, and I want everything back. But it seems like that other one has it.
So Many Differences
So, here I think I am. I am at this point in space and in this time. I am reduced to a bit of flesh and bones and further differentiated by gender, shape, size, and with the belief in time, there is aging. I see someone over there with a slimmer body, a younger body, and I feel deprived. I want what that person has. I have a whole list of preferred conditions having to do with the body, with circumstances, and with relationships. In each one, I seem to fall short of someone else. I have needs. I lack.
I am discontented, alone, and afraid. I want my needs to be met, and yet I feel a vague discomfort about it because it seems that my needs are often met at the expense of someone else. I would think that this endless dividing of the whole would make more, but instead, it seems to produce a state in which there is only so much, and I have to grab my bit before someone else does.
What Do I Need?
This incessant need to take from others what we feel we must have to be happy sometimes takes on global proportions. And we have world wars, but really, we are at war in every moment of our lives. We are always jostling for a better place, a bigger piece of the pie. We see winning as the effect of someone else losing. And no matter how much we accumulate, we are left feeling needy because we don’t know what it is we lack.
Since I don’t know what I need, I spend my life assigning that role to each and every separate thing. I need a better body, a better mate, a better job, a better car, and a better friend. The list is endless because no matter what I get, it fails to satisfy. At some point, I have to believe there must be a better way. At some point, I absolutely will choose to find that better way.
Changing Things
This is my time. This is the time in which I realized that I was seeking for happiness and peace in the wrong places. I realized that I would never find peace through war. I could not achieve happiness at the expense of someone else. When I was still working, I stopped trying to get more customers from my competitors. Instead, I started trying to find ways to help the people in my industry. I lost interest in having a fancier car, a bigger house, nicer clothes. I lost interest in things, and I have stopped needing to be superior to someone else.
I stopped trying to make more money than the other guy and started trying to do the best job I could do. I stopped being envious of the younger, slimmer body someone else has. I stopped using this body as a way to get what I thought I lacked. Instead, I try always to only use the body to communicate love.
I am learning to stop using this body to reward myself or to punish myself. I stopped using this body to make myself feel better than or less than. I began to ask Holy Spirit to use this body in a way that would help us all, as a communication devise, a tool to help us awaken.
I was unhappy, not because of any actual lack, but because of the way I perceived myself. Each time I achieved something, it would be at the expense of another. The guilt of taking and of further separating that which God made whole left me feeling more deprived than ever. So, I saw that I was doing this to myself.
Complete Forgiveness
The solution is complete forgiveness. I started with whatever was happening in my life at the moment and I forgave it. I forgave my projections onto others. And I forgave myself for wanting what they have, and for coveting what I seemed to lack. I forgave myself for the war I was waging within my own mind. And I forgave myself for believing I was separate from others and from God. I let all that go.
Without this sense of endless neediness driving my thoughts and actions, I became open to another way. I began to see things differently. Instead of looking at a competitor I saw a man who is confused, just like I used to be confused. He thought he needed my customer in order to be happy. I understood because I had believed that, too.
So, naturally, he saw me as the source of his discontent. I realized that he and I wanted the same thing. We both wanted to be happy, to be peaceful, and to feel safe. I used to be confused about what would help me achieve those goals, so I understood his confusion. I forgave us both.
The more areas to which I applied this in my life, the more peaceful and happier I became. This is because forgiveness removes the barriers to our wholeness. As I forgave the false needs I placed on the body, I became more content with it. I no longer needed it to be the way I receive attention or the way I punish myself for my perceived sins. I forgave myself and forgave my body, and that war is over. Without war, there is peace.
Getting Better
As I forgave my relationships and I forgave myself for using these relationships as a way of getting more of what I think I need, I became free to simply love. I love the one who stands before me. This is so simple to do because I don’t need him to be anything for me, therefore he cannot disappoint me. When I forget this, I forgive myself and return to peace.
As I get better at this and do more forgiveness work, I see that no one is special. Each person receives all my love. It seems ridiculous that I have spent my life singling out individuals to love according to their ability and willingness to fulfill my needs, needs which I made up. My perception of what I am is changing.
I want peace. I am willing to completely forgive. Holy Spirit, please help me to see clearly. Please help me when I become distracted. Please help me to accept the Atonement. I forgive myself for believing I am separate from my brothers and sisters and from God. Please help me to see where I still believe in separation so that I can let that be healed.
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