ACIM Chapter 1. III. 9 Miracles are selective only in the sense that they are directed towards those who can use them for themselves. IV.1 The escape from darkness involves two stages… IV. 2 Holiness can never be really hidden in darkness, but you can deceive yourself about it.

III Atonement and Miracles, P 9

⁹ Miracles are selective only in the sense that they are directed towards those who can use them for themselves. Since this makes it inevitable that they will extend them to others, a strong chain of Atonement is welded. However, this selectivity takes no account of the magnitude of the miracle itself, because the concept of size exists on a plane that is itself unreal. Since the miracle aims at restoring the awareness of reality, it would not be useful if it were bound by laws that govern the error it aims to correct.  

One time I was very angry with my boyfriend. I had just discovered he was lying about something important to me, and to make it worse, we were at the home of a couple I barely knew with a group of his friends. I was shocked by his revelation and had no privacy in which to work it through. And I certainly didn’t feel like playing volleyball with everyone else.

I noticed that the couple whose house we were visiting was not playing volleyball either. They were doing something inside, so I decided to introduce myself. At least it was quiet and peaceful in the house. I was still reeling from the sense of betrayal and was filled with conflicting emotions, so I was especially drawn to the peace.

We Talked About the Course

I liked the couple, and we began to have a nice visit. Somehow, we got on the subject of spirituality, and I shared some on my path as a Course student. They had never heard of A Course in Miracles but were very interested and decided on the spot to get the book.  As I talked about my favorite subject, I relaxed and let go of the anger I had been holding onto. I thought how nice it would be to have someone to study with since, at that time, I was still very isolated in my study.

Later when I left, I marveled at how even in my anger and frustration, the Holy Spirit used me. All it took was for me to be willing to set aside my own self-interest long enough to be a vessel. In doing so, I was also giving my permission to be healed because, of course, my joy at being used by the Holy Spirit trumped my anger and need to be right. It just snapped me right out of it.

None of This Was Planned

I had no way of knowing that maybe this couple would be the next link in the chain of Atonement. And I still don’t know how that worked out in the bigger picture, where the chain went from there. As it happened, I was never to study with them. Shortly after, they moved away. I also had no idea that I could be of service at a time when I was absolutely ignoring everything I learned from the Course. At that time, I still believed I had to be deserving in order to serve.  

These people were virtual strangers to me. I did not set the meeting up. I did not go into their house to proselytize. It had never occurred to me that they would be interested in A Course in Miracles. I was not prepared to talk about the Course. I was angry, confused, conflicted, and unable to think straight. Certainly, I wasn’t feeling spiritual or behaving in a way that fit my description of spiritual.

The Lesson I Learned

What I learned that day, the gift I took from that encounter, was the realization that all Jesus needs from me is a moment of willingness. He doesn’t need my vision; he brings the vision. He doesn’t need a perfectly healed teacher; he heals me as I teach. I learned that day about surrender.  I was too upset and my mind too confused to make plans and try to control the situation, and that was perfect.

Certainly, I would never have guessed that he needed so little from me. It took a lot longer for me to realize this is always true and to let go of the arrogance of believing he needs more. But I absolutely realized that I can see so little of the plan that it can’t be my job to know who needs the miracle, or who is ready for it, and where it might most effectively be applied. I still take over in little ways, but when I catch myself, I easily and gladly let go of the reins. I know better now.

IV. The Escape from Darkness, P 1

1 The escape from darkness involves two stages: First, the recognition that darkness cannot hide. This step usually entails fear. Second, the recognition that there is nothing you want to hide even if you could. This step brings escape from fear. When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy.

This paragraph is a very simple instruction on how to return to God and my Reality. First, realize that I am not hiding anything with my pretense. My story of Myron and the world I made as a stage for this play is dark, indeed, but not dark enough to hide my decision for God. There is not enough darkness in existence to hide from Love.

The second step is to realize there is nothing to hide. There is not enough guilt in existence to condemn me. Nothing, not even the belief I turned my back on God, can condemn me. I am innocent, and the innocent have nothing to hide.

The third step is to stop trying to hide anything. While I tried to hide my guilt, I must believe in it. When I believe in it, I am too afraid to open my eyes to Reality. It is not my guilt that keeps me from awakening, but only my fear of looking at the guilt that imprisons me.

Here Is How This Works

This plays out over and over on an average day. I gossip with a friend, and I feel a prickle of anxiety that I ignore. I hide behind: “I’m feeling so comfortable being one of the guys. No one is really hurt. Everyone knows this stuff anyway, it’s old news.” In my denial of my Self, I deny God, and the guilt builds and builds. But because I am pretending not to see the guilt, pretending to hide it from myself, I must pretend I don’t know why I feel anxious. And so I continue to project it and thus move further away from the healing I need.

Someone calls, and as I answer the phone, I wish no one had called. I wish I could just have this moment of quiet for myself. And so, I feel a prickle of anxiety for this desire that separation be true. I hide it in my righteous indignation. After all, I’ve been working all week. I deserve some quiet time. I assign my discomfort to whoever is on the other end of the phone, and so I seem to hide my guilt in that person.

Hiding in Plain Sight

There are so many little bits of guilt and darkness and hiding. Mostly they seem insignificant, too small to take notice. And yet they are the blocks to my awareness of Love’s presence. They are the wall I hide behind, the wall I built to keep God out. How can I return to Love if I deny the wall, deny that I built it, deny that I can take it down? Jesus tells me that I must hide nothing from him. This is my way out.

There is no transgression too big or too small that I will hide from him. Each unkind thought or word is to be uncovered quickly, looked at with the Holy Spirit, and seen as meaningless. Each separation thought each attack or defense thought, each fear thought, all of them to be looked at, not hidden. It is in looking that I am shown they are nothing, and so I am, after all, innocent and deserving of God’s Love.

IV. The Escape from Darkness, p 2

2 Holiness can never be really hidden in darkness, but you can deceive yourself about it. This deception makes you fearful because you realize in your heart it is a deception, and you exert enormous efforts to establish its reality. The miracle sets reality where it belongs. Reality belongs only to spirit, and the miracle acknowledges only truth. It thus dispels illusions about yourself, and puts you in communion with yourself and God. The miracle joins in the Atonement by placing the mind in the service of the Holy Spirit. This establishes the proper function of the mind and corrects its errors, which are merely lacks of love. Your mind can be possessed by illusions, but spirit is eternally free. If a mind perceives without love, it perceives an empty shell and is unaware of the spirit within. But the Atonement restores spirit to its proper place. The mind that serves spirit is invulnerable.

Unconscious Guilt

Holiness can never be really hidden in darkness, but you can deceive yourself about it. This deception makes you fearful because you realize in your heart it is a deception, and you exert enormous efforts to establish its reality. Everyone carries a secret anxiety whether they realize it or not. It has been a part of their lives for so long that they don’t notice it on a conscious level, but it is there. It is a deeply unconscious guilt that, while well hidden, nevertheless informs our daily thoughts and actions.

This unconscious guilt is the cause of the world we see. It is projected outward and appears as the circumstances in our daily life. We then look at those circumstances and think, “Yes, that’s why I feel anxious,” or “Yes, that’s why I feel guilty.” We would rather be guilty of unkind acts and betrayals, even adultery, murder, or theft, than uncover the true cause of the fear.

Good grief, we think we are hiding from God, and yet we cannot even hide from ourselves. Our holiness, no matter how we cover it with acts of brutality, war, and such, or even the everyday business of distractions, making a living, making love, making children, our holiness seeps out, and this scares us. Even when it doesn’t, we know in our deepest heart what we are, and we are afraid it will betray us to God.

Giving Thanks

Holy Spirit, thank you for helping us remember the truth that God loves us and harbors no resentments. Thank you for reminding us that we have nothing to fear from God. The true purpose of the miracle is to bring us to truth. It is to establish our reality once more, to bring us out of the dark and into light. We are afraid we must atone for our sins, but Jesus is giving a new definition to Atonement. Atonement is the gentle undoing of this strange and cruel choice we have made.

I picture it like this. I am a child hiding in a dark closet. It seems that I am surrounded by monsters, and there are terrible things happening all around me. Better to stay here because if I come out, the consequences will be even direr. I have been here in this dark place for so long that I have gotten used to the monsters and the fear. I have learned to deal with it. There have been so many lifetimes here. And now, the only thing I fear worse than the monsters is leaving the dark. I don’t remember why, but I do remember it is important to stay here.

But I grow weary of the pain and suffering, and I have the occasional dream of something else, something light and happy. I begin to pay attention to this thought a bit more. This thought seems to be a whispering Voice in my heart, gently coaxing me out of hiding. We have been in this conversation, this negotiation, for a while now. It works like this.

There Is Another Way

The Voice reminds me of another life, a life of peace and freedom. I tell Him why I don’t want to take a chance on coming out of hiding. I bring Him one scary thought at a time, laying each one down before Him. He shines a light on the thought, and I see it differently. It is not really a monstrous thought but just a shadow that fades in the light. I see behind the shadow a true thought, and my heart lightens a bit. I am less afraid.

This goes on for what seems a long time, with many thoughts being brought forward, more thoughts, and more quickly now because I am gaining clarity with each exchange. Each time He says, “See, you but do this to yourself. There is no real threat in this.” This is a miracle! Each healed thought is a miracle. As my thoughts are corrected, the miracle takes form, and I see the connection.

The Voice is right. The monsters are not real. The monstrous circumstances are not real. The world I see is not real. I but did this to myself, after all. As I allow my mind to be corrected, all the monsters disappear. The frightening circumstances, the suffering, and the pain were all simply effects of the untrue thoughts I was holding in my mind. They were the guilty thoughts taking form, and now that the thoughts are changing, so is the form they take.

I Am Not the Frightened Child

I see now that I am not that frightened child hiding in the dark that I once thought I was. No, I am not that at all. I am spirit. I am the maker of the child and the maker of the dark places. And yes, even the maker of the monsters, the unpleasant circumstances, and the pleasant distractions as well. I am the maker of it all, and as I allow my mind to be healed, I become the maker of happier stuff.

When the healing is complete, and when I have finally and fully accepted the Voice and Its reassurances, I will come all the way out of the darkness and stand before my Creator. That is the final step for me to take. Then, when it will no longer frighten me, He will lift me up. He will enfold me with His Love and His care.

He will bring me into His Self, and I will laugh as I realize I have been there all along. I see this. I see it as if out of the corner of my eye. Holy Spirit, please free my mind of any remaining impediments to this happy ending. I gladly look at any of the mistaken and frightening thoughts still in my mind. I gladly give them to You because I want to be free again. Now I am ready to lift the veil and pass through to You. Spirit, please take me to God.

To read my article, I Am Eternal Spirit, CLICK HERE.