C 8: VII. The Body as a Means of Communication, P 1

VII. The Body as a Means of Communication, P 1

1 Attack is always physical. When attack in any form enters your mind you are equating yourself with a body, since this is the ego’s interpretation of the body. You do not have to attack physically to accept this interpretation. You are accepting it simply by the belief that attack can get you something you want. If you did not believe this, the idea of attack would have no appeal for you. When you equate yourself with a body you will always experience depression. When a child of God thinks of himself in this way he is belittling himself, and seeing his brothers as similarly belittled. Since he can find himself only in them, he has cut himself off from salvation.

Journal

At first I wondered if this could be true, that attack is always about the body. Then I realized that yes, it is. I had attack thoughts yesterday. I thought my coworkers were being too loud and interfering with my concentration. I was equating myself with a body, right? I felt tired and distracted. Body again. I felt like I needed to hurry that I wasn’t going to get through. Need a body for that. I resented everyone who interrupted me. Again, some bodies come into play.

I had trouble focusing and my mind wandered. Isn’t that about the mind? What I noticed is that I had this problem because the body was tired. I also noticed the distractions were always about other bodies and that had a lot to do with loss of focus. Anything that stems from the idea of separation is about bodies, is about others.

We obviously have bodies here, but it is when we equate ourselves with these bodies that we have problems. When I identify with my ego self, the body and personality of Myron, I get all wrapped up in her story. It is a natural consequence of ego identity that I perceive attack and defend myself. The idea of separate selves, unconnected with each other creates an atmosphere of comparison and contrast and competition.

Time is part of the separation story. I have to get this body moving and get to this other space in a timely manner. Otherwise some other body is going to be unhappy with me. All these other bodies seem to be determined to keep me from doing what I absolutely have to do. It is all their fault. Life becomes a war that I feel I have to win and everyone is my enemy, just obstacles to my plans. Well, except for a few “special” bodies designated as “loved ones.” And even they get booted into the enemy camp sometimes.

I have discovered that I can live in a body without identifying with the body as self. I have not succeeded in doing this all the time, but having done it at all, I know I will succeed. In the Course, Jesus tells us that we can learn to listen to only the Voice for God, even here. The more often I choose that Voice, the less I think of myself as this body. I more often now identify self as spirit.

When I think of myself as spirit, I feel expansive about life and toward my brothers and sisters. They no longer seem to infringe on my space because I have no space that is not their space, too. I don’t blame them for whatever is going on with me because as spirit I know that I choose my life and everything that happens to me in this body. My brothers and sisters are playing at life with me, not fighting against me.
When I identify closely with spirit rather than with ego, everything feels different. I feel close to everyone. I feel like they are working on my behalf, that the world is for me rather than against me. I see little or no gap between us. Yes we are playing in bodies, pretending to be this one and that one, but I can’t believe in the separation and I don’t take the game too seriously. I certainly don’t get mad at someone else for living their story. It becomes more interesting than obstructing.

Sometimes it feels like I have a split personality. I will be the happy someone who finds life fascinating and feels treasured by others and by the universe itself. Other times, I feel like my whole day is devoted to defending myself from everyone who shows up for my story. After one of those days, I am exhausted and generally by the next morning, I am feeling ridiculous and regretful. I look back on how I felt and reacted and I can’t believe I attacked so often during the day.

Today’s Lesson says the stillness of the peace of God is mine. It doesn’t say it could be mine, but that it is mine. I can keep the regret for yesterday if I prefer regret, but the peace of God is mine so I can choose that instead if I want. I can laugh at yesterday and at my choice to see bodies and identify with this body.

I wasn’t able to choose peace yesterday, but I am able to see what I did and how that feels, and today, make a different choice. Yesterday wasn’t a wasted day because today I know that I don’t want to attack or be attacked. Yesterday taught me that I want to return my mind to God and to the peace of God.

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