VI. The Treasure of God, P 8
8 There is no question but one you should ever ask of yourself;-“Do I want to know my Father’s Will for me?” He will not hide it. He has revealed it to me because I asked it of Him, and learned of what He had already given. Our function is to work together, because apart from each other we cannot function at all. The whole power of God’s Son lies in all of us, but not in any of us alone. God would not have us be alone because He does not will to be alone. That is why He created His Son, and gave him the power to create with Him. Our creations are as holy as we are, and we are the Sons of God Himself, as holy as He is. Through our creations we extend our love, and thus increase the joy of the Holy Trinity. You do not understand this, because you who are God’s Own treasure do not regard yourself as valuable. Given this belief, you cannot understand anything.
Oh my, this is such a different vision of me than I had this morning. I had a very strong ego backlash last night and I felt anything other than God’s own treasure. This morning I had an ego hangover and that didn’t help. I didn’t waste my time trying to figure out why I felt like that. Any story I came up with would be an effect of a belief, not the cause of my reaction.
I know that I am waking up and the ego part of the mind wants to stay in the dream. That’s all that is happening, but even so, it is hard to hold onto the truth. I wasn’t going to do this work with Spirit this morning because I didn’t think I could, but of course, that is the most important time to work with Spirit, when I think I can’t.
An effect of ego resistance is often lethargy for me and I felt like going back to bed and going to sleep, but I had to get to work so I resisted. However, I felt very strongly to use a HemiSync meditation for sleep. It seemed crazy to me but I felt like I just had to do this. What happened is that as I completely relaxed and let go of everything, I opened to Spirit. I began by just saying the name of God knowing that when I do, the angels surround me.
In 30 minutes I felt to get up and was relieved to see that my mind was clear and I felt my normal happy self. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. When I need help, I receive it. All I have to do is open to the help. It is easier now for me to accept that I am not what I see in this world. This is an experience, not reality.
My reality is so different from this self that I am experiencing that I have to trust that what Jesus says is true. I don’t remember being holy. I don’t remember feeling like God’s holy Son. And I certainly don’t remember my creations. I don’t feel valuable. But I trust Jesus and there must be some memory in me, buried deeply, but still there. Otherwise why would I even trust that these words come from Jesus?
And yet, I do, and because I do, and because I practice what is given me to practice, I witness this incredible change as I awaken. This Course must be true because I have become a different person through doing it. Something fundamental is shifting in me and I am becoming aware of it. Maybe that is why the ego is pushing against it so hard. The part of the mind that thinks this world is a good idea must be seriously worried. It should be.