VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, P 2
2 When a brother acts insanely, he is offering you an opportunity to bless him. His need is yours. You need the blessing you can offer him. There is no way for you to have it except by giving it. This is the law of God, and it has no exceptions. What you deny you lack, not because it is lacking, but because you have denied it in another and are therefore not aware of it in yourself. Every response you make is determined by what you think you are, and what you want to be is what you think you are. What you want to be, then, must determine every response you make.
I love the clear and easy stuff from the Course, which is what we have here. When my brother acts insanely (attacks) I have an opportunity to bless him. I need to bless him because I need the blessing myself, and giving it is the only way I can receive it. That is so clear and so unequivocal. He emphasizes that by saying: “This is the law of God, and it has no exceptions.”
No matter what my brother does or says, he is asking for my blessing whether he understands this or not, and he probably doesn’t. If he is attacking it is because he is afraid and feeling defensive. He thinks he must protect himself, and asking for a blessing is the furthest thing from his mind. Therefore, it is up to me, being the saner one at the time, to understand what he needs and give it to him.
How do I bless him? What does that look like? The form changes according to circumstances, but the content remains love. It can be as simple as a smile, or a nod of understanding. I can say to an angry brother that I can see how upset he is. I can give him my attention. When someone is grieving, I can hug her and offer my condolences.
Even if the attack is directed at me, I can be defenseless and I can ask the Holy Spirit what response is most loving in this situation. Here is an example. I wrote something and shared it on a forum. Someone reading it attacked the content. I felt the attack as if it were personal and asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind.
From that place of clarity I realized that my words had triggered something in the other person and I felt compassion because I know how that feels. I thanked the person for sharing her thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it might be more appropriate to just let it be. What is never helpful is to argue or become defensive.
What I give, I receive and I don’t need to teach myself defensiveness. I already know that posture too well. What I want is to teach forgiveness and innocence because that is what I most need to learn. I let what I want to be determine my response.