V. C. Be Vigilant Only for God and His Kingdom, P 6
6 You learn first that having rests on giving, and not on getting. Next you learn that you learn what you teach, and that you want to learn peace. This is the condition for identifying with the Kingdom, since it is the condition of the Kingdom. You have believed that you are without the Kingdom, and have therefore excluded yourself from it in your belief. It is therefore essential to teach you that you must be included, and that the belief that you are not is the only thing that you must exclude.
Journal
I believe that I have left the Kingdom of God but the only thing that has happened is that I have a belief. My belief convinces me that something has actually happened and that I am guilty for it. I try to rid myself of the intolerable burden of this guilt by projecting it. The Garden of Eden story is my attempt to project it onto God. Every time I think blame thoughts in any form, it is my attempt to project it onto someone else or onto some situation. But it doesn’t work, of course, because what I give is mine. What I teach is what I learn.
Jesus is showing us the way out of this. He is the way out. I was reading something I wrote earlier about the crucifixion and resurrection which was his part in the awakening. This is, in part, what I said:
The useless journey, or the journey to the cross is death in its many forms. It is sickness, loss, lack, hatred, anger, fear, judgment, jealousy, and depression. All suffering is a form of death. Then, of course, there is the death of the body, the coup de gras, the final proof that I am not what God created, that I am indeed my own creation. The journey through suffering and finally to my death is my ultimate victory against God.
Jesus overcame death and in doing so it is done. All that is required of me is that I accept this gift and then it is done for me, too. His was meant to be the last useless journey, done for all of us and done for the last time. Instead, we have chosen sacrifice (a form of death). We have chosen to follow in his footsteps, endlessly reenacting the crucifixion while rejecting the resurrection which proved that death is not real and it proved that the ego/body/ cannot overcome God’s Will.
So this is done. Now we need only accept it as done. We must do our part which is to reject every form of death and in so doing we will be resurrected from this dream of separation and begin to truly live. We do this every time we notice untrue beliefs in our mind and ask for and accept the Atonement for those thoughts. We do it every time we stop trying to give away our guilt and simply allow it to be healed.
Each time we reject a wrong minded belief it is a little step toward the Kingdom. We will take this journey a step at a time until the mind has healed to the point that we are ready for resurrection and then ascension. The Kingdom has already been won. All we are doing is preparing ourselves to accept our place in it, and we do this by rejecting anything that is not part of the Kingdom.
I have had this crazy belief that I will be at peace when my children are. I will be at peace when I get my house and car paid off. I will be at peace when I am retired. When I have more time. When I have made amends for all my mistakes. When my body has healed. All of these conditions that I put on peace are barriers to the Kingdom of Heaven. I stand at the door with my heavy burden of needs and all I need to do to enter is lay that burden aside. Just lay it down and go on in. The way has been made.
I stand there with my grievances piled high. My dad was an alcoholic. I never knew a normal relationship with a father and that scarred me and kept me from forming healthy relationships with men. My ex husband was not the man I needed him to be. My friend betrayed me. My kids don’t give me what I think I need from them. The guy at work makes me mad.
My competitor took my customer by lying about me. People are unkind, and close minded and the cause of my misery. I stand at the gate with my list of grievances, the proof that these people are unworthy and should not be allowed entrance. And so, of course, I cannot enter either, because then who would bar the door?
All I need to do to enter the Kingdom is throw away my list of grievances. I cannot approach God with hate in my heart, not because I am guilty for my hate, but because hate is not in God. I am learning that to know my nature and to return to truth, I must reject all that is not God’s nature, because that is my nature, too.
Right now we are learning to distinguish between the untrue beliefs in the mind, and the beliefs that are in alignment with truth. Ultimately, we are being guided to a place beyond belief, because belief implies question, and what is of God is not questionable. As long as there is still doubt and uncertainty in the mind, we will continue our vigilance on behalf of God, allowing our mind to be healed of all ego beliefs.