V. C. Be Vigilant Only for God and His Kingdom, P 4
4 While the first step seems to increase conflict and the second may still entail conflict to some extent, this step calls for consistent vigilance against it. I have already told you that you can be as vigilant against the ego as for it. This lesson teaches not only that you can be, but that you must be. It does not concern itself with order of difficulty, but with clear-cut priority for vigilance. This lesson is unequivocal in that it teaches there must be no exceptions, although it does not deny that the temptation to make exceptions will occur. Here, then, your consistency is called on despite chaos. Yet chaos and consistency cannot coexist for long, since they are mutually exclusive. As long as you must be vigilant against anything, however, you are not recognizing this mutual exclusiveness, and still believe that you can choose either one. By teaching what to choose, the Holy Spirit will ultimately teach you that you need not choose at all. This will finally liberate your mind from choice, and direct it towards creation within the Kingdom.
Journal
Jesus is stressing the need for vigilance. I must be vigilant for God rather than the ego. We have already established that we can be vigilant. We have been vigilant for the ego and so we know it is possible. Now we are learning that we want to choose God instead. We are learning this through making the choice for Holy Spirit Who chooses God for us.
For awhile the mind is going to be chaotic as it vacillates between ego and God, choosing one then choosing the other, but this cannot last. Consistency of choice will quiet the mind. I choose God over and over and soon the mind begins to calm because there is not the desire for ego, and so there is not the chaos of conflict in the mind.
Thinking of making a choice for God or ego over and over again just makes me tired. I am ready to give up choice altogether. There was a time when that idea just seemed wrong. The ego rebelled and brought up every objection it could think of. Now it just feels peaceful and right. Jesus tells us why we are drawn to this idea even as the ego mind fights against it. Choice took the place of creation in our Mind, and in giving up choice we truly return to our Self as Creators beside God.
Could then, the relinquishment of choice be a sacrifice? In time choice is our only remaining freedom, but as we allow the mind to be healed we leave behind time to discover we exist in eternity. In eternity we are at peace and choice is not even a memory. For now, I begin to remember who I am through choosing consistently for God.