VII. The Decision for God, P 6
6 Decision cannot be difficult. This is obvious, if you realize that you must already have decided not to be wholly joyous if that is how you feel. Therefore, the first step in the undoing is to recognize that you actively decided wrongly, but can as actively decide otherwise. Be very firm with yourself in this, and keep yourself fully aware that the undoing process, which does not come from you, is nevertheless within you because God placed it there. Your part is merely to return your thinking to the point at which the error was made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say this to yourself as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:
I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise. I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace. I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him. I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.
This prayer is the foundation of my spiritual practice. It is the way I return my mind to God as He gave it to me, the way I remove what was added. The Answer to this prayer is in my mind. It always responds to a sincere desire to be healed, and the healing occurs. I say that I remove what has been added, but the way I do that is to desire that it be removed. The actual removal is accomplished through the Holy Spirit That was given to us for this purpose.
I have been thinking about retirement a lot lately, maybe because I turn 65 tomorrow. I have this thought that I need to get my house paid for so that I can afford to retire so I have been looking at ways I can accomplish this. There is nothing wrong with doing this, especially if it is guidance of how to do something that needs to be done.
Where I wander off the path is when I allow the ego to entice me into obsessing over it and moving into fear. We are the Sons of God and there is no fear in us, but we can believe there is much to fear and it seems to be so. This is what has been happening to me. I have gone from something that started off as a simple thought in the mind and has ended up being a source of fear.
This morning I am going to use the power of my decision to accept the Atonement in this situation. This is the way Jesus wants me to use my illusion to allow it to be undone for me. The Atonement is his plan for our salvation and if I am going to use this book as my guide to awakening, then I must make use of the Atonement principle. Anyway, it is easy and effective and nothing else I have tried even works.
“I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.” I decided to think thoughts that are not true and that is why I am not at peace. I didn’t lose my peace somewhere like a misplaced book, I lost it on purpose. I actively decided against it through choosing to believe what is not true. I have not lost my peace because I am in danger of living on the streets or of working many more years than I want.
I am anxious because I chose to believe I am victim to the situation in which I find myself rather than the maker of it. Nor is anyone at work, or anyone I help financially responsible for this situation. I am completely responsible for everything I see. If something is wrong, then my thinking must be wrong because that is the source of my world as I see it. If I am not at peace, it must be that I have decided wrongly. I have chosen to think with ego rather than with God.
“I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.” Since the problem is a result of my own decision, then the solution is to think differently. This is the most valuable lesson I ever learned. In the past I always tried to find someone or something else to blame. All my attention was fixed on preserving my false innocence through projecting blame.
All the time I really was innocent, but failed to see it because I believed I was guilty. Guilt has no place in this, and without guilt the process is simple and goes without a hitch. Now I understand the difference between guilt and responsibility, I gladly accept responsibility so that I can do something about my error and know that I am free. I decided wrongly when I decided that I am unhappy because of circumstances and the people who are to blame for these circumstances.
“I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.” The reason this is hard to do is because I tend to forget the goal. I start to think that the goal is to pay off my house and to retire. The goal is peace. The reason I want to pay off my house is because I think that will bring me peace. The reason I want to retire is because I think I must in order to feel peaceful.
But I am wrong about that. I must decide for God rather than for ego if I want peace. I must let go of those ego beliefs and trust that God does have my best interests at heart and that He knows better than I do what it is that will bring me peace and joy. I must surrender my own plan and accept His.
“I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.” There is no reason for guilt because nothing has really happened. I have made a wrong decision and if I let the Holy Spirit undo it there will be no consequences to that wrong decision. Nothing in this world is real and so nothing matters except as I give it value, and then it matters to me, but is still not real.
After suffering from my mistaken thoughts for so long, it is hard to believe the answer was so simple, but past experience has proven it is so. I have decided to listen to the ego mind with its false reasoning, and to believe what I thought. Now I ask the Holy Spirit to remove those thoughts from my mind. I am not at all concerned with the ego belief that someone, either me or someone else, must be guilty. Guilt is irrelevant. I can afford to ignore that thought and simply allow myself to be at peace and happy, and I have the means to do that.
“I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.” Holy Spirit, please remove these false thoughts from my mind. Choose for God for me. I am ready to be accept the Atonement and to be at peace.