VII. The Decision for God, P 2
2 There have been many healers who did not heal themselves. They have not moved mountains by their faith because their faith was not whole. Some of them have healed the sick at times, but they have not raised the dead. Unless the healer heals himself, he cannot believe that there is no order of difficulty in miracles. He has not learned that every mind God created is equally worthy of being healed because God created it whole. You are merely asked to return to God the mind as He created it. He asks you only for what He gave, knowing that this giving will heal you. Sanity is wholeness, and the sanity of your brothers is yours.
I’m ready to heal the sick, to move mountains and to raise the dead. How about you? All of those things seem easy when you realize what you are. As you realize what you are, all things become harmless and are easily set aside. But I see that all things must become one thing. I must see not only my own wholeness, and my own sanity, but also my brother’s as well. I must see there is no gap between me and my brother. This is hard if I still see either of us as a body, but once I realize what I am, I will have no problem at all.
Yesterday, I practiced remembering what I am. It made for a very peaceful and happy day. But toward the end of the day, the weather got bad with thunderstorms and I got a headache. My first thought was that the change in weather was the cause. This used to be what I believed and the weather and headache combination seemed to prove I was right.
The ego always speaks first so that was my first thought. But I don’t believe that anymore. I know that the headache/weather connection has nothing to do with cause. It is simply the effect of the belief that I hold in my mind. I choose a headache (I’m sure the ego was getting desperate to undo all the healing that has been occurring lately) and then I use the device of weather changes as cause to make the headache seem reasonable and outside me.
If the body can get sick without my mind being involved the ego can use this as proof that I am a victim and thus not part of God. It was a good plan. Every time the weather changed like this I got a headache and so the consistency of it was enough to convince me of the connection. The ego mind is sick, but not without power and cleverness.
It’s not working anymore. I am onto the whole thing and am letting go of the idea that the world happens without my consent. So I went back to my study for the day and remembered that it is me who has the power to dominate all things I see by merely recognizing what I am. As I perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept my holy will as theirs.
I looked at the headache in this new light. I am spirit, divine being, Son of God, and as such, I dominate all things. This includes the body and sickness and pain. I dominate them by remembering what I am and in remembering, the headache is seen as harmless rather than a threat to my newfound understanding, and harmless rather than painful and outside my control. I reminded myself that in its harmlessness the headache (body/pain) will accept my holy will as their its. The body must respond to my mind; whether my mind is sick or healed, the body must respond to it.
It was interesting to watch. I would remind myself of the truth and the headache would subside, then it would return. I continued the practice and after awhile I was tired of the pain and thought about giving in to a magical solution and taking an aspirin. But really, while I did want to do this, I also was having fun. I wanted to see what could be done with merely changing my desire.
Could I effect a permanent change in the condition of the body just that quickly? I have no doubt that someday I would be able to do that and more, but why not now? I asked Jesus to help me understand his teachings and I asked him to help me accept them. The pain subsided more quickly and easily and eventually it went away all together. I guess I practiced for about half an hour or so. I don’t know for sure because it was awhile before I realized the pain was gone for good.
This morning I got the chance to up the stakes on my practice. My son called me with bad news. He had surgery recently on his back and had hoped for relief from the chronic pain he has suffered for years now. It doesn’t seem to be happening and now he seems to have re-injured it. All of this bad news has caused him to be very depressed.
I love him so much and want only that he be happy. I also know that his story of pain and suffering is not real. He is still as God created him. He is master of his universe. But that is not his experience and the experience he is having is really painful. I felt his deep discouragement as we spoke and I wanted so much to do something, but what can I do?
I find that it is harder, somehow, to know the truth for him, that is, that he is not his body either, and that he is the cause of his universe as much as I am the cause of mine. Because he has no interest in approaching this from a spiritual point of view, it is easy for me to think that he has no recourse and must suffer. I have had to overcome my own lack of faith to be helpful for him in any way.
That I am still seeing an order of difficulty in miracles, means that my mind is not healed and so I must step back from trying to heal until I accept my own healing. This is what I have been doing this morning since I talked to him. My prayer this morning began with the reminder that I am not what I seem. I am not the body; I am spirit. I dominate all things and in seeing their harmlessness, they bow to my holy will. Now my prayer is also this: Toby is not his body; he is spirit. He dominates all things and as he sees their harmlessness they will bow to his holy will.
As I write this I am reconsidering. All things I see must bow to my holy will. As I see Toby’s body manifestations as the illusions they are and know they are harmless because they are illusions, they must bow to my holy will. How is that any different than accepting the Atonement on his behalf, something Jesus has told us we can and must do? I think this is the prayer I will hold in my heart today. If this speaks to your heart, I invite you to join me in this holy endeavor. We are meant to be healers, and we are meant to remember healing through joining in healing.
Today’s prayer: Because of what we are, we dominate all things. Knowing what we are, we see these manifestations as the harmless illusions they are whether they occur in ourselves or in another. And so they must bow to our holy will. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray.