Thank You, Brother, for Your Course

As it happens, everything I ever believed was wrong. It has taken a long time for me to realize this and even longer for me to accept it without exception and to allow the transformation to unfold. I can sincerely say that I am very different today than I was before I began the study of A Course in Miracles. Oh, wait. I am not different. I have always been exactly as God created me. But I now know that, and I didn’t know it before. And that changed everything about my experience of this story of Myron.

Everything the ego tells you that you need will hurt you. From (ACIM, T-13.VII.11:1) ⁵Therefore ask not of yourself what you need, for you do not know, and your advice to yourself will hurt you. (ACIM, T-13.VII.11:5) Only the Holy Spirit knows what you need. ²For He will give you all things that do not block the way to light. (ACIM, T-13.VII.12:1-2)

I used to think I knew what I wanted because I thought I knew what would make me happy. I wanted to feel safe and secure, and I thought a good job with good pay was the way to do that. And I wanted to feel loved or at least liked, and so I did what I could to make that happen. And yet, I was often anxious and afraid. The closer I came to achieving my goals, the more fearful I became because I could also imagine losing them. My past life proved to me that I needed to resign as my own teacher and that I needed a different advisor. My ego was more than useless at the job; it was an impediment to my peace and happiness.

A case in point is when I was working as a salesperson.

I had many opportunities to heal my mind. My job took me from town to town, meeting with city officials, and I worked closely with the men and women who operated the water departments. I formed close relationships with many of them, and those relationships were special in that I wanted something from them. I wanted their loyalty and would become upset if I heard they were talking to a competitor or if they were unhappy with my service. It was the same with my fellow co-workers, and those relationships were important to me as well, and for the same reasons. If they didn’t do their jobs as they should, they could cost me a customer and thus threaten my income.

It took years of consistent practice with the principles of A Course in Miracles for this to change. Because of my fear of lack and my persistent belief that there was something outside my mind that needed to change to achieve happiness, these years were a roller coaster ride of emotion. I would be thrilled when I gained a customer and satisfied when I received praise or thanks from one. But even in the best of times, there was an underlying fear of loss. So, I never really enjoyed the job. But I don’t regret a moment of it because it was through this job that I found another way to live.

Over time, the Course became alive for me through my constant practice.

As I learned to watch my mind and to call on the Holy Spirit for correction, and I did this repeatedly over those 26 years, my experience began to change. It was an obvious change and a welcome one. I was learning that relationships were not for getting but for giving, for sharing. I stopped looking outward for proof of my abundance and my value. So, I became more peaceful and happier in my job. Instead of using my customers, I began to love them and want the best for them. Outwardly, not a lot changed. I had always done a good job for them, but now I did it because I cared about them, whereas before, I did it because I needed them.

I relaxed and enjoyed relationships and left my needs to the Holy Spirit, Who knew what I needed. He supplied my needs in a safe way and a way that did not keep me here longer. Thus, I didn’t need anything from my customers or my fellow workers. So I could be with them in peace, which, as it happens, was good for business. They no longer only needed me; they enjoyed my company. Many were very disappointed when I retired, and some kept in touch for a long time. And my mind was clearer than ever because what we learn in one situation becomes true for all of them.

There are so many things I have learned from A Course in Miracles

These lessons learned have changed my life. The one that is most useful to me is that it is never about the other person or the situation. It doesn’t matter what someone says to me or what is happening in the world; how I feel about it is up to me. How I interpret what is said is up to me. As Jesus says in Lesson 151: You place pathetic faith in what your eyes and ears report. (ACIM, W-151.3:5) What we hear coming from someone else is just sound until we interpret the meaning.

So, if I interpret the words to mean something besides love, I must have a thought that needs to be healed. The message your brother gives you is up to you. ²What does he say to you? ³What would you have him say? ⁴Your decision about him determines the message you receive. (ACIM, T-9.II.5:1-4) There was a time when I thought that my brother showed me what he was, but now I know differently. If I see something that is not a holy reflection, I must be looking from the perspective of the split mind. When that happens, I change the mind from which I perceive.

If my feelings are hurt, I recognize that no one did that to me, however it might appear.

I did it to myself. This is so much better because while I can change my own mind, I cannot change his. By changing my mind, I quickly return to happiness. This morning, my son was looking at the leftovers to see what he wanted to eat. I pointed out that there were some potatoes that he would particularly enjoy. Then I said, “You will have to heat them up.” He looked at me and said, “Yeah, that would be because they have been in the refrigerator all night?”

I laughed out loud. I saw the absurdity of my comment and thought it was funny. There was a time in my life when I would have decided that his comment was hurtful. I was so filled with self-loathing that I expected to be judged and thought I should be judged. I thought I was guilty of many things and had almost no self-worth. A Course in Miracles helped me to see that this could not be true. Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. ²Your worth is established by God. ³As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to the belief in superiority and inferiority. (ACIM, T-4.I.7:1-3) I believe that straightforward statement, and now I just laugh at my human foibles.

Here’s another one.

For Valentine’s Day, after I brought candy to my kids and granddaughters, I thought, “Nobody ever gives me candy.” As soon as I saw that thought, I laughed. It’s ego thinking coming through, but I wasn’t interested. In the past, I probably would have taken it seriously. Some years ago, my daughter called to invite me for dinner. When I pulled up to her driveway, there was no place to park. I realized that the whole family was already there.

I was an afterthought! Somebody must have said, “Did anybody invite Mom? We had better do that.” I was so angry! I threw my car in reverse and was about to leave when sanity returned, and I decided to stay and enjoy myself. It was different for me in that previously, it was a job for me to return to sanity, but that time, it was easier, and this time, I just laughed. Sometimes we get to see that we are moving forward.

Where is all this practice taking me?

Well, I am happy and peaceful most of the time, and when I am less than that, I choose again. But more than that, I am beginning to remember what I am as I remember what my brother is.

I am God’s Son, complete and healed and whole, shining in the reflection of His Love. ²In me is His creation sanctified and guaranteed eternal life. ³In me is love perfected, fear impossible, and joy established without opposite. ⁴I am the holy home of God Himself. ⁵I am the Heaven where His Love resides. ⁶I am His holy Sinlessness Itself, for in my purity abides His Own. (ACIM, W-pII.14.1:1-6)

This is so different than what I used to believe about myself. I am the Mind that is God, regardless that I sometimes still think I am this small separate person. Nothing has changed since my creation. I am in God even now, and as I become open and receptive to that truth, I bring the light of Heaven with me even into this world.

It becomes confusing to me sometimes.

I know this is true, yet my experience is so very different within this world. It seems that I am the Son of God and I am Myron, and the two identities are not always clearly defined in my mind. And yet they must be because there is no meeting place for them. So, it is just confusion of identity.

Believing that I am Myron makes the illusion of me as Myron very real in my mind, but it cannot make it true. As I let go of these confused thoughts, my mind clears. As I decided for light, darkness simply ceased to exist. It is no different nor any harder than turning on a light in my dark room. The light comes on, and the darkness is gone. It doesn’t take time and almost no effort.

Each time I let my mind be illumined with the truth, my faith and trust grow stronger, my decision for Light comes more quickly, and the solution is more quickly accepted. So here is the whole thing in a nutshell. As I the Son of God, I am Love. I am peace. However, I am experiencing something unlike myself. I get confused as to my identity. I recognize the confusion and I decide to remember who I am. So, I ask for help. As I accept it and live it, I give it. I awaken.

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Thank You, Brother, for Your Course