VI. The Illusion of Needs, P 4
4 The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief. You can never control the effects of fear yourself, because you made fear and you believe in what you made. In attitude, then, though not in content, you resemble your Creator, Who has perfect faith in His creations because He created them. Belief produces the acceptance of existence. That is why you can believe what no one else thinks is true. It is true for you because it was made by you.
I feel reassured by this paragraph because it affirms my understanding that my job here is to use the story I am experiencing to undo my belief in it. I made this world and all the stories in it and because I made them I believe in them. As Jesus says, I am like my Creator in this way. I am His creation, and He has perfect faith in me. I made the world and all I believe about the world, and so have faith in it.
The difference is the content. What God created is real and what I made is an illusion. What God created is perfect and whole and joyful and peaceful, invulnerable and eternal. What I made is none of these things. It is uncertain and fluctuating. It is fearful and induces guilt, anger and jealousy. Pain suffering and death are the inevitable outcomes. Quite a difference!
Regardless of the difference in content, it remains that our faith in our creation is strong and so we need help to correct our thinking. We need something outside the mind to do the healing. This is the reason I readily ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I notice the effects of my beliefs. I accept responsibility for the consequences of those beliefs; then I ask the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done.
This process is very simple. What is it in my life that seems to be causing me distress? Is it that my boss is critical of my recent work? I recognize that his criticism is not frightening, but rather it is my thoughts about his criticism that scares me. My thought is that I will be fired and that thought leads to the fear that I will no longer have the means to take care of myself.
If I follow that thought far enough, I will see the belief that I am unworthy and that God does not love me. I will realize that I feel separate from God and guilty for that separation. In the end, there is only that one belief that needs to be corrected. A sense of separation from God is the only belief that I need heal. But it is the everyday occurrences in life that bring me to that belief so that it can accept correction.
If I think it is my job to fix this, I will start trying to do better at work hoping my boss notices and changes his mind about me. At the next level, I try not to think thoughts of unworthiness and fear of God. I hope I will be able to do this and that I won’t be guilty of failing. At a higher level, I realize these solutions will not work. I have no control over what my boss thinks or what he does.
I have no control over the way the script unfolds. I cannot control fear either because the more I think of that which I fear, the greater the fear seems to be. That which we focus on grows. Sort of the opposite effect I was hoping to get. I do have control over my choices. I have two choices and can make either one.
I can continue to try to manipulate and control, from the level of Myron’s story, a script not written on this level. Or I can try the same thing through attempting to undo what I made from within the system I set up. I have tried both of these approaches, but neither has worked so far. Jesus says that it is because I have placed my faith in what I made and so believe in it.
My second option is much simpler. I can choose to be healed by the Healer given to me that purpose. This will work, and nothing else will work. All of time has been for the purpose of experiencing what I have made and for the purpose of discovering that there is only one workable option for undoing what I have made. It seems I have finally accepted this foregone conclusion. I am systematically looking at the results of mistaken beliefs, realizing I am no longer interested in them, and asking the Holy Spirit to fulfill his function and heal my mind.
It seemed very slow going there for awhile and I was discouraged to see how long it was taking. In fact, I didn’t see any end in sight, but I gave my willingness and my trust to the Holy Spirit, and now I am beginning to see that grace is shifting me out of the world more quickly than I could have imagined possible. I still fall back into fear when it seems I am moving too fast.
I think that is the meaning of night-dreams I had for awhile. I would be driving too fast over a bridge, feeling out of control and frightened of the speed I was going. Then I would notice that I had no steering wheel or that it didn’t work. I would wake up afraid. With more understanding of the work going on within me I see the symbolism of the dream as my ego discouraging me from waking up, and my fear of doing so.
But I can now see that my destiny lies ahead and not behind me, and though I stall out occasionally, there is no going back. I see that my destiny is set and always has been. I see now that I have no control over how life unfolds or when I stop watching the show. I don’t care. It’s more fun this way. As long as I remember my part I am good. I observe what is going on in the story. I notice how it makes Myron feel. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal what needs healing. I wait to discover what happens next. Whooeee! Hold on tight because who knows where this ride is taking me! But I believe it is perfectly safe. Holy Spirit, please undo all my unbelief.