Matthew 18: Do Not Think for Yourself

NTI Matthew 18:1-6: I have told you before not to think for yourself. And also: One cannot maintain self-identity and self-control and be healed of self. And also: I say to you, practice with Me today. Do not think for yourself. Ask Me in all things and leave all things to me. labrynth blessing 092

Ego had a very visceral reaction to that first line. It was a very primitive survival instinct. The ego says, “Step away from the book.” Ha ha ha. I feel it and I choose not to believe it, and yet I think I do believe the ego thought that this is not something I want to do. So here I am again, as I often am, conflicted in my desires. The way I experience this conflict generally is to become frozen in indecision which really defaults to ego. Ego argues that it is not really possible to stop thinking for myself so forget it.

To move forward, I just have to take the first step and then the next and then the next. I notice that this reading is working well with today’s daily lesson.

A Course in Miracles Lesson 3: I do not understand anything I see in this room (on this street, from this window, in this place).

What does today’s lesson mean to me?
Well, if I have given all the meaning to everything in this room, and I was wrong about that meaning, I don’t know anything. This could feel very uncomfortable, disorienting. Or it could feel like a release, as if a weight had been lifted; years of shifting meaning and uncertainty, and now the simple truth.

How can I apply this lesson in my life right now?
Do I have to clear my mind of all past associations? That doesn’t seem possible. I stare at my lamp and attempt to empty my mind of the meaning I have given it. You could fill the room with all that meaning as one association leads to another and another. But as I look at the lesson again, I see that all I am being asked to do is to acknowledge my lack of understanding. I can do that.

My message from Holy Spirit. 
Precious child, you are willing to start over and to see these lessons as if they are brand new. This is helpful and so appreciated. You are not alone; I will be with you each step of the way. See each day as a classroom in which to study that day’s lesson. For instance, today you have plans to write and to pack for your upcoming move. As you sit down to write, accept that you don’t know what anything means and open your mind for Me to help you.

You keep putting off packing because you are frozen in indecision about what to bring and what to discard. Again, recognize that you don’t know what anything means and you will have opened the door for my help. This job feels so overwhelming to you that you feel like crying when you think of it. Feel Me with you. Allow Me to decide for you. It is such good practice for you. If you begin to feel discouraged recognize that you are packing with the ego, and bring your mind back in line with Me. Moving can be joyful, and if it is not something has gone wrong. Simply shift your attention from the ego to Me. 

My message to Holy Spirit.
I feel so much better. I did not even realize how much I was dreading this job, and it did not occur to me why. I thank you for your words and for your help. You feel like a best friend, only one who is always here, always has time for me, and always knows the answer.

It may seem a random event that I am reading this particular passage in Matthew, but I think that it is meaningful. The Holy Spirit has reassured me that as I learn to set aside the thinking mind and all it’s planning, and discouraging chatter, I will leave room for Him to give me His thoughts. I will take joy in what I do, even in the simple tasks. 

I really like that thought. I tend to make everything very serious and burdensome, as if I can only progress if the path is difficult and I am careful not to have any fun while I do it. I recognize that behavior in myself and am willing to be wrong about it. I am willing to stop thinking that thought for myself. There you go, one thought laid aside, a nice clear space for Holy Spirit to give me His thought.

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