Lesson 83

Lesson 83 

Today let us review these ideas:

1(65) My only function is the one God gave me.

I have no function but the one God gave me. This recognition releases me from all conflict, because it means I cannot have conflicting goals. With one purpose only, I am always certain what to do, what to say and what to think. All doubt must disappear as I acknowledge that my only function is the one God gave me.

2 More specific applications of this idea might take these forms:

My perception of this does not change my function.
This does not give me a function other than the one God gave me.
Let me not use this to justify a function God did not give me.

3 (66) My happiness and my function are one.

All things that come from God are one. They come from Oneness, and must be received as one. Fulfilling my function is my happiness because both come from the same Source. And I must learn to recognize what makes me happy, if I would find happiness.

4 Some useful forms for specific applications of this idea are:

This cannot separate my happiness from my function.
The oneness of my happiness and my function remains wholly unaffected by this.
Nothing, including this, can justify the illusion of happiness apart from my function.

 

Journal

“With one purpose only, I am always certain what to do, what to say and what to think.”

“And I must learn to recognize what makes me happy, if I would find happiness.”

For the most part, I remember my function. I know my purpose. And as long as that is firmly in my mind, I live my purpose and I am happy. I first began to realize how true this is when I started working with students. I was still moving in and out of my function at that time, sometimes living from my purpose and then other times being conflicted as some other goal caught my attention. So sometimes I was happy and sometimes I was confused and unhappy.

There were times when a student would call and I would wonder how I could do this today because I didn’t feel right. I might be anxious or worried or uncertain. But as soon as we started talking, everything cleared like the sun coming out from behind the clouds! By the time the call was done, I was back into my happy.

After a while, I began to see the pattern and realized that I have a true self that knows what to say and what to think and that I access this self when I accept my function. So, is teaching my function? It is part of my function within the larger function, which is to accept the Atonement. In putting aside my ego thoughts and feelings, I accepted the Atonement in that moment, and I was happy.

Regina’s Tips

I heard a Christian song on the radio. The song said that a saint is someone who, “falls down and gets up, falls down and gets up, falls down and gets up.”

So, that’s what we need to do. When we notice we have slipped or forgotten our purpose (fallen down), we just begin again (get up). In this way, we awaken ourselves and the world.

My Thoughts

Lord, I must be close to sainthood if that’s all it takes. I fall down over and over as I forget my purpose, but I get up again and start over. What else can I do? I can’t pretend that I don’t know my purpose. I can’t go back to ignorance, nor do I want to. Here is the good news. I forget my purpose less and less often. When I stumble, I pop back up, brush myself off and move on without guilt making it harder. Sometimes I even laugh at the absurdity of it.

Past Entry

There are things I do because they must be done as part of my life experience here in the world. I used to think that the way to get things done was to have goals. When I began my career as a salesperson, setting goals became the way I did the job. I began to define myself by these goals. When I would reach a certain sales goal I would think that I was awesome. When I lost a customer, I would be depressed because I thought that meant I was a failure. I lived for those goals, win or lose.

I had other goals as well and some of them conflicted with the goals I had set as a salesperson. One very important goal I had was to be a good mother. My job in sales demanded a lot of time and this took away from my time with my children. So even when I was doing very well as a salesperson, I felt like a failure as a mom. If I sacrificed my job because my children needed me, I fretted over my image as a successful businesswoman.

Another conflicting goal I had was to be an awakening spiritual being. This necessarily meant that I would seek union rather than separation, and competition is definitely not union. I would win a new customer which often meant that I took someone else’s customer, and I would be elated to have won, but my excitement was tinged with uneasiness. One goal was conflicting with another.

The more my desire to awaken grew, the more conflicted I became. There is no happiness in conflict. There might be a brief surge of adrenaline and a temporary sense of satisfaction as one goal is met, but it is always tempered by the loss of another goal. I loved being able to provide many things for my family with the money I made, but I felt bad that I wasn’t there for them. I began to think the problem was my job. Then I would remember that before my job I was unhappy, too.

As I continued the study of the Course it became clear to me that the problem is never the story, but is always the thought that sourced the story. I learned that I am not what I do, and my worth is not dependent on winning or losing. Happily, I learned that my worth was established by God in my creation and there is nothing I can do to make it better or worse.

I began to understand that more than I want competitors I want brothers. I realized that oneness superseded any other goal. I still had other goals, but I relegated them to second place. Eventually, I accepted that I have only one goal, one purpose, one function. The other goals began to fade away and so the conflict lessened and I was at peace more often.

This is still a work in progress. I will feel resentment toward someone and realize I have accepted another goal apart from union. I remind myself that I have only one goal, and certainty returns, and with it, peace. While I still worked as a salesperson, I learned that nothing I did in my job was my function. Instead, I did my job with an eye toward my one function.

When another company took my customer I would no longer demonized them. If I felt anger, resentment or fear, I remembered my function and forgave that. When I felt competitive or threatened, when I thought that a loss defined me, I forgave that. Then and now, I open my heart to allow the truth to infuse me. As I allow the truth in, I remember my only function, the only goal I ever want, and I am happy and at peace.