Lesson 68
Love holds no grievances.
You who were created by love like itself can hold no grievances and know your Self. To hold a grievance is to forget who you are. To hold a grievance is to see yourself as a body. To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind and to condemn the body to death. Perhaps you do not yet fully realize just what holding grievances does to your mind. It seems to split you off from your Source and make you unlike Him. It makes you believe that He is like what you think you have become, for no one can conceive of his Creator as unlike himself.
Shut off from your Self, which remains aware of Its likeness to Its Creator, your Self seems to sleep, while the part of your mind that weaves illusions in its sleep appears to be awake. Can all this arise from holding grievances? Oh, yes! For he who holds grievances denies he was created by love, and his Creator has become fearful to him in his dream of hate. Who can dream of hatred and not fear God?
It is as sure that those who hold grievances will redefine God in their own image, as it is certain that God created them like Himself, and defined them as part of Him. It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace. It is as sure that those who hold grievances will forget who they are, as it is certain that those who forgive will remember.
Would you not be willing to relinquish your grievances if you believed all this were so? Perhaps you do not think you can let your grievances go. That, however, is simply a matter of motivation. Today we will try to find out how you would feel without them. If you succeed even by ever so little, there will never be a problem in motivation ever again.
Begin today’s extended practice period by searching your mind for those against whom you hold what you regard as major grievances. Some of these will be quite easy to find. Then think of the seemingly minor grievances you hold against those you like and even think you love. It will quickly become apparent that there is no one against whom you do not cherish grievances of some sort. This has left you alone in all the universe in your perception of yourself.
Determine now to see all these people as friends. Say to them all, thinking of each one in turn as you do so:
I would see you as my friend, that I may remember you
are part of me and come to know myself.
Spend the remainder of the practice period trying to think of yourself as completely at peace with everyone and everything, safe in a world that protects you and loves you, and that you love in return. Try to feel safety surrounding you, hovering over you and holding you up. Try to believe, however briefly, that nothing can harm you in any way. At the end of the practice period tell yourself:
Love holds no grievances. When I let all my grievances
go I will know I am perfectly safe.
The short practice periods should include a quick application of today’s idea in this form, whenever any thought of grievance arises against anyone, physically present or not:
Love holds no grievances. Let me not betray my Self.
In addition, repeat the idea several times an hour in this form:
Love holds no grievances. I would wake to my Self by
laying all my grievances aside and wakening in Him.
Journal
“To hold a grievance is to forget who you are.”
Holding grievances keeps us asleep dreaming of a life filled with hatred, fear, guilt, pain, and death. It keeps us afraid of a God that we imagine must be like us. There is not a grievance in the world that is so important to me that I am not willing to release it. I want to remember who I am. I want to remember God as He is, not as I have made Him. I want to wake up and go Home. I cannot do that holding onto a grievance.
I don’t think that it matters if a grievance feels major to me or if it feels like a minor one, any grievance is an impediment to my purpose. I don’t have any grievances that loom big in my mind now, I haven’t for a long time. The only way I can find a grievance now is to ask myself what I wish were different in my life.
I wish I could believe my dear friend was safe. So I guess I could see this as a grievance against my him, maybe? It hurts my heart that he believes his addiction makes him less than he was. His depression scares me. Thinking about him makes me want to say something that fixes him. All of that is code that maintains the illusion and can be seen as a grievance. I don’t want that anymore.
None of this is real, not the story of Myron, and not the story of my friend. But before I can have the real, I must let go of the code for the fearful, guilt-ridden illusion of the ego mind. I must accept the code for the Atonement that is represented by the happy dream in which I have no grievances.
I have tried to see his situation differently and have made great strides, and yet, I still hang onto the story as if it is real. I act as if this story having an ending I can love is my most urgent need. If I look at my beliefs about my friend and his situation as code, it is easier for me to be dispassionate about it. I wonder if this is the way I can finally see this differently.
Neither code is real, but one is more helpful and it is the only one that is in alignment with my purpose. I choose that code for my illusion. I am going to continue this practice, releasing the old code so that this new code can write a different story. I can imagine a truer story, one in which I see my friend as another part of the Sonship dreaming his way home just as I am, rather than a separate person, someone lost and suffering and possibly heading for tragedy.
To read about the Code https://awakening-together.org/the-code/
Regina’s Tips
Two specific parts of ‘What the Bleep’ are with me today as I contemplate Lesson 68, Love holds no grievances:
1 – Our brain processes over 4 billion bits of data per second, but we only aware of about 2000 bits of data per second. We select the data that is most related to our individual body, and pay attention only to that.
2 – At the quantum level, one thing can appear in many places simultaneously.
These have communicated in my mind in this way:
Our one awareness is the one observer. It appears to be in many places at one time—in many bodies at one time—but it is one awareness. However, at the experiential world level, when awareness sees through a particular body it biasedly selects only the perceptional data that it feels pertains to it. This is the limited individual point of view and the idea of ‘me’.
So as I contemplate, “Love holds no grievances,” it has morphed for me. “Grievance” is redefined as ‘limited and biased point-of-view’. In other words, “Love holds no grievances” for me today means:
Love—wholeness, or the awareness of totality as my Self—holds no limited and biased point-of-view.
As a result of this contemplation, my awareness is noticing and questioning ‘personal’ points of view today whether it appears to be a grievance or not.
My thoughts
That’s a really good point that Regina makes. I want to hold no grievances, but at the same time, I can look at it as my Self holds no limited and biased point of view.
Past Entries
Holding grievances is a choice I make. It is not impossible to let go of grievances even though the ego mind says that it is. It is, as Jesus says, a matter of motivation. I have found motivation in two places. One is that when I have let grievances go, I have discovered peace and love and joy. The other is that I cannot remember my Self and remember my Creator if I hold onto grievances, and I really want to remember.
An example of the first form of motivation is something I’ve written about before. I had a grievance against someone at work and while I held that grievance I was unhappy every time I was around him. I felt resentment and anger. I felt guilty. And I felt bound to my grievance, imprisoned by it, and unable to release myself from it.
I knew, of course, that this could not be true. I knew I was both prisoner and jailer and was confounded by my refusal to release my brother and thus release myself. But I knew that I could do this because I believe what Jesus tells me in the Course. I had proven it through the practice of what he teaches me, and through past successes. I know how it feels to be free of my grievances, and when I compare that feeling to the hope that I am right and he is wrong, and the weak satisfaction that brings… well, there is no comparison really.
Eventually, I convinced myself that I didn’t want the grievance anymore and I did two things. First, I withdrew the grievance and stopped trying to keep that man guilty for the sins I projected onto him. I stopped trying to escape my grievance at the expense of another and brought my grievance back into my own mind. And second, as I allowed the grievance to sit there in my mind, I looked at it with the Holy Spirit and realized it was nothing. I then released it to the Holy Spirit so He could remove it from my mind.
The second form motivation takes is that I want to know God and I want to know my Self. The only way I can do this is to let go of all grievances. God created me like Himself and if I fill my mind with grievances, I will not recognize myself as one with God and like God. The only other alternative would be to see God as like myself, and if my mind is filled with grievances and I think God is like me, well, that is just plain scary.
Having looked at the alternatives, I am motivated to release grievances. Now it is just a matter of vigilance as I become aware of the grievances I still hold. As I notice them, I remember why I am willing to release them, then I do that. It isn’t hard; it is just a matter of desire. It is necessary if I want to be happy and at peace.
When I find a grievance, even one I think of as insignificant, I say a prayer, something like this. “Here, Holy Spirit, this is a grievance I have been holding in my mind. I am grateful to have found it so that now I can release it to you. Please remove it from my mind. Thank you.” Another way I do this is to simply sit in silence, opening my heart and mind to the Holy Spirit, knowing He will purify my mind as I sit there. Love created me like itself. There is no home for grievances in me.
This lesson is one I could work on every single day! Love holds no grievances. Now there’s a tall order. I took this lesson, wrote down every single grievance I could find and the “small” ones stunned me. I even had a grievance against the course for it’s use of language being slightly difficult sometimes. I had a grievance against a couple of ACIM teachers because of the “way” they said something recently. They didn’t even say it to me personally, I heard it on a tape. In the first paragraph Jesus says if we hold grievances we will believe we are a body and let the ego rule our mind. Jesus also says grievances split me off from my source. In doing this lesson I found that I actually treasure some of my grievances because they make me “right” and prove that I am right and “they” are wrong. I need to be right, my rightness sustains me. Whaaat? I also see that when I view my grievances my guilt increased this morning by leaps and bounds. I told myself, stop that, no guilt, don’t go there but then I weighed myself this morning and I have gained 6 lbs in 3 days. So I say to myself, Of course you have, you deserve that, you are so guilty of grievances. Whaat? I was shocked by that statement but at least I was aware of my mind saying that, this time. Then I worked on my grievances and they included food, the scale, doctors, my Dad’s diabetes, and I see my grievance against God for genetics and DNA because above all else…I WANT TO BE SKINNY! How is that for an ego defense mechanism. How is that for keeping me believing I am a body. How is that for increasing my guilt, and my anger and blame every time I gain a lb? It’s like a temper tantrum…I want to be skinny, NOW!, waaaaah waaaaah. I felt serious ego drama chock full of grievance. But usually this happens so subtly under the surface where I’ve hidden it so with my smile on, I look lady like with voicing my platitudes, like well it’s just water weight, oh well, my clothes still fit…I’m ok. Who is ok? My body? Certainly not my mind with these grievances churning and my self hatred growing. I’m ok?? I have known people who had grievances against me because I was too fat, or because I was thinner than them. It’s like being in a house of crazy mirrors. And I mean that literally. I look at “her” and she’s so skinny must be anorexic, I look at “her” and she’s so fat probably lazy too, I look at “her and she’s jealous cuz I’m thinner than her, and she looks at me and thinks I’m fat, while “she” over there looks at me and see’s I’m thinner and envies me and hates herself a little more. Now THAT is a house of crazy mirrors. We are not our body and those are grievances. AND, they cover up the larger grievance of fear of death through loss of approval, which can lead to loss of our marriage, loss of our job, loss of our money and loss of our support systems. My grievances say how dare anybody threaten my support systems that with politics, taxes, rules, court cases, and shifting economy? I hold grievances against them one at a time and collectively with a constant fear running under the surface. Then I read what the last paragraph says about how to reconcile my grievances with Holy Spirit helping me when it says: I WOULD SEE YOU (those I hold grievances against) AS MY FRIEND, THAT I MAY REMEMBER YOU ARE PART OF ME AND COME TO KNOW MYSELF…THINK OF MYSELF AS COMPLETELY AT PEACE WITH EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, SAFE IN A WORLD THAT PROTECTS ME, LOVES ME AND THAT I LOVE IN RETURN. Thank you Holy Spirit for delivering us from this house of crazy mirrors by reminding me that we are Love and there is no “them” in the crazy mirrors. If I can give up my grievances that would be a return from fear to Love. Thank you Myron.