Love cannot shine with specialness upon anyone at any time. For specialness, itself is a contraction; the attempt to take Love and make it shine only on one object, only on one person only on one being, only within one universe.
Therefore, whenever you recognize that you have singled someone or something out and said, “They hold a greater value,” you may rest assured that you are not in Love at all. You are in fear. And if that one were to leave you, where would you be? But if you are in Love as a fish within the sea, all beings can arise and pass away and you will bless them in their journey.
What I learned
The idea of giving up special love has been the hardest concept for me to embrace. First in ACIM, and now here in TWM, it is made clear that what I have treasured as true love has been nothing but fear. I think about my children. I love them so much. Or is what I feel something outside love?
What I feel for them leads directly to fear. What if something happened to them? I cannot imagine what that would feel like. When one of them is sad I feel like someone is ripping at my heart. How would I feel if one of them died? This is special love. It is fear based. It is an attempt to contract love into a very small thing and place it carefully on just this one person. If your child died I would be sad for you, but if my child died I would be devastated. If your child died there would be an awful, shameful and guilty piece of me that would think, “Thank God it was not my child.” Does this sound like love? It sounds and feels like neediness to the nth degree. I need this person to stay in their body and be in my life. I cannot be happy without them. This is not love. This is fear.
What makes someone my friend, while others are not? Why do I like that particular one? She supplies something that I feel is missing from my life. Perhaps she is good company, or we have certain things in common. Maybe she likes to discuss the things I like to discuss. Maybe I like her because she likes me. What happens when she no longer supplies my needs? Perhaps she loses interest in those things we had in common. Perhaps she becomes good friend with someone else and no longer comes around or invites me over. Perhaps they take up a behavior that I cannot abide. Do I stop loving her? Then I never did. I just loved what she provided me.
What if I swam in a sea of love, breathed love, knew nothing but love. Each person who swam with me would receive nothing but love because that is all I had to give. If someone swam away it would not matter because the love was not in them or dependent on them. I am the love and so I cannot lose it. I simply continue to be love and the next one who swims by becomes the recipient of my love. As the love flowed from me to them I received it as well. I am swimming in it. I have it even when no one is swimming with me.
When I think some special person is the holder of my love that love is always tainted with the fear of loss. If I know that I am love living in Love, then I have no fear of loss. It makes such perfect sense, and yet, I still notice a spark of fear at the idea of giving up special love. Holy Spirit, I am willing to be transformed. I am willing to let go of the idea of special love. I am willing to give up my insane idea of contracting something that is infinite and eternal. I am ready for this. I don’t know what it would feel like to know only love and to not have special objects of love, but I am ready to find out. Thank you.
All quotes are used by kind permission of the Shanti Christo Foundation. To buy a copy of this profound book visit their website at www.shantichristo.com. I invite your thoughts and comments.