W-pI.52.1. (6) I am upset because I see what is not there.
2 Reality is never frightening. 3 It is impossible that it could upset me. 4 Reality brings only perfect peace. 5 When I am upset, it is always because I have replaced reality with illusions I made up. 6 The illusions are upsetting because I have given them reality, and thus regard reality as an illusion. 7 Nothing in God’s creation is affected in any way by this confusion of mine. 8 I am always upset by nothing.
What good news this is! Reality is not upsetting so if I am upset, it is because what I see and how I see it is not reality. It is something I made up with my split mind. I cannot believe in reality and the illusion at the same time. I must give up one in order to believe the other. If I am upset, it is because I have decided I prefer the illusion. I can change my mind.
W-pI.52.2. (7) I see only the past.
2 As I look about, I condemn the world I look upon. 3 I call this seeing. 4 I hold the past against everyone and everything, making them my enemies. 5 When I have forgiven myself and remembered Who I am, I will bless everyone and everything I see. 6 There will be no past, and therefore no enemies. 7 And I will look with love on all that I failed to see before.
Someone I love very much is often self-destructive. For a long time, I worried about him and fretted over his behavior. I resented him, too, because of how much I suffered when he suffered. Even while things were going well, I worried because I was anticipating the next time he would blow up his life. But as I continued to bring these thoughts to the Holy Spirit, there was a shift in my thinking.
I began to see his life as his path Home just as my life is my path. I started to realize how much he has gained from each of his detours into these fearful situations. He would come out of them knowing more about himself and with more clarity as to how it happened. He becomes more determined to change his life and looks for ways to do this. Some of his past thinking falls away each time this happens and I began to see him as strong and determined instead of weak and self-destructive. And I stopped suffering. And I stopped resenting him. 7 And I will look with love on all that I failed to see before.
W-pI.52.3. (8) My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.
2 I see only my own thoughts, and my mind is preoccupied with the past. 3 What, then, can I see as it is? 4 Let me remember that I look on the past to prevent the present from dawning on my mind. 5 Let me understand that I am trying to use time against God. 6 Let me learn to give the past away, realizing that in so doing I am giving up nothing.
Before I could see my friend differently, I had to stop anticipating that the future would be like the past. I had to give up my past thinking. What I had not entirely accepted was that I was using time against God but that is exactly what I was doing. God is Eternal Love and my thoughts about my friend was upsetting me and so were preventing me from being aware of Eternal Love which is never upsetting.
W-pI.52.4. (9) I see nothing as it is now.
2 If I see nothing as it is now, it can truly be said that I see nothing. 3 I can see only what is now. 4 The choice is not whether to see the past or the present; the choice is merely whether to see or not. 5 What I have chosen to see has cost me vision. 6 Now I would choose again, that I may see.
Jesus is completely logical as he reminds us that we are not seeing anything if we are not seeing it as it is now. When I was thinking my friend would blow up his life again, I was seeing a fearful future but that is not what was happening right then so I was seeing nothing. And holding onto that thought was costing me vision. We see with our eyes and interpret with our split mind and this is not vision. We would be gifted with vision, truly understanding if we choose again.
W-pI.52.5. (10) My thoughts do not mean anything.
2 I have no private thoughts. 3 Yet it is only private thoughts of which I am aware. 4 What can these thoughts mean? 5 They do not exist, and so they mean nothing. 6 Yet my mind is part of creation and part of its Creator. 7 Would I not rather join the thinking of the universe than to obscure all that is really mine with my pitiful and meaningless “private” thoughts?
I remind myself of what private thoughts are. If I think something that everyone else is not thinking, then that is a private thought. These are meaningless thoughts and do not really exist. Jesus says that these are the thoughts we think we think. But I have real thoughts. These are the thoughts I think with the universe. These are the thoughts that are true and real and are shared with all of the universe. I can remember these thoughts if I so desire.
Recognizing that my private thoughts are meaningless and not my real thoughts is the first step to giving them up so that I can know my real thoughts. When I chose to release the thoughts about my friend and allow my mind to be healed, I began to see him as Love and love replaced fear. This Love in which I saw him is real and thus is shared with the universe. I could do this because I am not this body and this character, Myron. I am part of creation and part of its Creator.