Lesson 51

Lesson 51

The review for today covers the following ideas:

(1) Nothing I see means anything.

The reason this is so is that I see nothing, and nothing has no meaning. It is necessary that I recognize this, that I may learn to see. What I think I see now is taking the place of vision. I must let it go by realizing it has no meaning, so that vision may take its place.

(2) I have given what I see all the meaning it has for me.

I have judged everything I look upon, and it is this and only this I see. This is not vision. It is merely an illusion of reality, because my judgments have been made quite apart from reality. I am willing to recognize the lack of validity in my judgments, because I want to see. My judgments have hurt me, and I do not want to see according to them.

(3) I do not understand anything I see.

How could I understand what I see when I have judged it amiss? What I see is the projection of my own errors of thought. I do not understand what I see because it is not understandable. There is no sense in trying to understand it. But there is every reason to let it go, and make room for what can be seen and understood and loved. I can exchange what I see now for this merely by being willing to do so. Is not this a better choice than the one I made before?

(4) These thoughts do not mean anything.

The thoughts of which I am aware do not mean anything because I am trying to think without God. What I call “my” thoughts are not my real thoughts. My real thoughts are the thoughts I think with God. I am not aware of them because I have made my thoughts to take their place. I am willing to recognize that my thoughts do not mean anything, and to let them go. I choose to have them be replaced by what they were intended to replace. My thoughts are meaningless, but all creation lies in the thoughts I think with God.

(5) I am never upset for the reason I think.

I am never upset for the reason I think because I am constantly trying to justify my thoughts. I am constantly trying to make them true. I make all things my enemies, so that my anger is justified and my attacks are warranted. I have not realized how much I have misused everything I see by assigning this role to it. I have done this to defend a thought system that has hurt me, and that I no longer want. I am willing to let it go.

 

Journal

Nothing I see means anything.

It doesn’t mean anything because when I use my eyes, I am not seeing anything that actually exists. They are showing me images made from my thoughts, images that represent what I want to see into existence, and failing this, that I want to believe exists. It’s a hopeless cause, this image making, but it is what I have made in the place of true vision and that is the reason I am ready to know the world I see does not exist. I want to see what does exist and I can’t see them both at the same time.

 

I have given what I see all the meaning it has for me.

In an effort to give reality to my illusions, I use judgment. I look on what I made and decide what it means and so the illusion seems to take on life. But the judgments are as unreal as the hallucination and so nothing is created, only made. Nothing I see exists in spite of the layer after layer of judgment that I hope will validate what I have done, or at least obscure its lack of reality. But all I am doing is hurting myself.

 

I do not understand anything I see.

Oh my God, how could I understand anything I see? I have made images of untrue thoughts and using invalid judgments have attempted to give meaning to what does not actually exist. All that I am seeing are my mistaken thoughts. I waste my time if I try to make sense of the world I have thought up. Instead, I intend to keep my focus on simply releasing what is nonsensical for the beauty and glory of reality. I choose to recognize the beliefs that are in error and release them so that I can see what is actually true.

 

These thoughts do not mean anything.

The reason my thoughts don’t mean anything is that they are not my real thoughts. It is as if I have made a little room in my mind in which I pretend to think outside God and all that I see is the result of these non-thoughts. In this isolated room, I have convinced myself that I created a whole world of my own while God wasn’t looking and He is not part of it. As long as I believe this fairy tale, I have cut myself off from my true thoughts, the thoughts I think with God. This game has lost its glamour and I am no longer satisfied with it. In fact, I wonder if I have driven myself insane trying to obscure reality with my judgments. If so, I have found the strength of God in me that is allowing me to return to sanity.

 

I am never upset for the reason I think.

Ever since I have made this little world in my mind, I have spent each moment, day and night, trying to keep it going, trying to defend it. Lie after lie must be justified, and attacks seem warranted under the circumstances. Everyone is my enemy eventually, even those who are so very special to me, maybe especially those.

I seem to be embattled on all fronts. Someone wants my money, people make me sick with their contagions, politicians make foolish decisions and I am hurt by them. There are wars and threats of wars, hurricanes, and all sorts of natural disasters. Relationships fall apart and leave me feeling alone and betrayed. It is all someone’s fault, something done to me by someone else. They are the reason I am upset.

And yet, how could that be? This is my world, made by me. How could something happen that is not my desire? I have learned that no one hurts me but me and that I do it in defense of an insane thought system, which is my real problem. It is this thought system that is the cause of my upset and I am more than willing, anxious even, to let it go in favor of reality. There is nothing of it worth keeping.

Past Entries

I used to find these lessons strange and confusing and I would want to rush through them so I could get to something that made sense to me. That was just the resistance of the ego mind to learning them. The part of the mind that wants the illusion is very upset that I took this turn in my life. It is the beginning of the end of the story of separation and so that part of my mind doesn’t want to understand these lessons.

I have long since moved through that resistance and now when I read these lessons they seem so simple and straight forward that I have to laugh at my earlier confusion. Though, it is true that every time I read them, especially this review, I feel my understanding expanding. So it must be that I am still overcomming resistance in my mind to learning this. It is not very strong anymore and I know it will fade away completely before long.

I am so glad that this information came through Jesus as opposed to some other way of being presented. These first lessons explain that nothing I see with this body’s eyes is real. It is just a thought in the mind that has been projected outward and so I am not really seeing anything. I understand the idea completely, but I accept that it is true because of the source of the information. I have faith in Jesus and so I have faith in what he says. The Course in its entirety holds together perfectly which makes it effective, but I doubt I would have gotten through the first fifty lessons had it not come through Helen from Jesus.

So I begin with the idea that the world I see is not real and these eyes do not see. I use them as a way of viewing what I want to believe and as justification for judgment. Vision is not a result of looking with my eyes. It is a knowing through the mind. It took a while for me to understand vision as the term is used in the Course. Once I accepted these first lessons, I became open to vision. I began to ask the Holy Spirit what was really there, and He began to show me another way to see.

With a lot of practice it has become easier for me to disregard what the eyes show me. Yes, they keep showing it to me, but what I see is meaningless and my disregard is for the reality of what is before my eyes. When I use the part of the mind dedicated to separation, I am asking my ego what is real. When I use the part of my mind that is dedicated to union, I am asking the Holy Spirit to interpret the world for me. The choice for the Holy Spirit is the choice for vision.

What I see is a projection of what I want to see. It is a projection of my chosen beliefs. Truth is not a choice, it simply is. But with the ego mind I am able to choose among many ideas to think about. These thoughts are not my true thoughts (which are very holy since they are the thoughts I think with God) but are just based on meaningless ideas. And because they are not real, neither is the world they represent. Because neither the thoughts nor the world that is made from these thoughts is natural to us, it takes all of our effort to generate it. If we took our attention from it for a minute it would disappear.

It is even harder for us to keep up the pretense of the world if we look at it too closely because we would start to see the inconsistencies. The reason that I am never upset for the reason I think is because I am constantly having to justify my thoughts, trying to make them real, trying to make the world seem real. This is the reason ego thinking is so complex. It uses complexity to hide the inconsistencies. The end result is a mind so confused that it is actually dazed. We don’t think anything and we don’t see anything and while we pretend something is actually happening, in our hearts we know something is very wrong.

Even with only these first five lessons, I begin to see my way out of this confusion. Since I see my thoughts projected and my thoughts are meaningless and are causing me distress, I am willing to try something else. I am told that I have real thoughts and to know these thoughts I must reject the thoughts made up to take their place. I have been willing to do this. That is why I have learned to see differently and why I am choosing to awaken from this insane dream where reality is rejected so that illusion can take its place, as if the truth were a choice.

 

 

One thought on “Lesson 51

  1. Thoughts do not leave their source! Now there’s food for “thought.” What I “think” I project out there but thoughts do not leave their source. Actually that makes me feel better. If all these thoughts are from “me” then I can do something about them and I have a learned Teacher helping me! I don’t need to change the world that I am projecting. I don’t need to fix others problems that I see which in fact I am only projecting. I only need to change my thoughts and they are reviewed above to some extent. My thoughts create a meaningless world, and that world doesn’t mean anything other than it make me think I am upset for a reason other than my projection. Every lesson peels that onion and even though this sounds simple to me in retrospect, it’s not EASY! Constant vigilance and asking Holy Spirit for guidance are the necessary tools. I am so grateful for Holy Spirit! Thank you Myron.

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