Lesson 35

Lesson 35

My mind is part of God’s. I am very holy.

Today’s idea does not describe the way you see yourself now. It does, however, describe what vision will show you. It is difficult for anyone who thinks he is in this world to believe this of himself. Yet the reason he thinks he is in this world is because he does not believe it.

 You will believe that you are part of where you think you are. That is because you surround yourself with the environment you want. And you want it to protect the image of yourself that you have made. The image is part of this environment. What you see while you believe you are in it is seen through the eyes of the image. This is not vision. Images cannot see.

 The idea for today presents a very different view of yourself. By establishing your Source it establishes your Identity, and it describes you as you must really be in truth. We will use a somewhat different kind of application for today’s idea because the emphasis for today is on the perceiver, rather than on what he perceives.

 For each of the three five-minute practice periods today, begin by repeating today’s idea to yourself, and then close your eyes and search your mind for the various kinds of descriptive terms in which you see yourself. Include all the ego-based attributes which you ascribe to yourself, positive or negative, desirable or undesirable, grandiose or debased. All of them are equally unreal, because you do not look upon yourself through the eyes of holiness.

 In the earlier part of the mind-searching period, you will probably emphasize what you consider to be the more negative aspects of your perception of yourself. Toward the latter part of the exercise period, however, more self-inflating descriptive terms may well cross your mind. Try to recognize that the direction of your fantasies about yourself does not matter. Illusions have no direction in reality. They are merely not true.

 A suitable unselected list for applying the idea for today might be as follows:

 I see myself as imposed on.
I see myself as depressed.
I see myself as failing.
I see myself as endangered.
I see myself as helpless.
I see myself as victorious.
I see myself as losing out.
I see myself as charitable.
I see myself as virtuous.

 You should not think of these terms in an abstract way. They will occur to you as various situations, personalities and events in which you figure cross your mind. Pick up any specific situation that occurs to you, identify the descriptive term or terms you feel are applicable to your reactions to that situation, and use them in applying today’s idea. After you have named each one, add:

 But my mind is part of God’s. I am very holy.

 During the longer exercise periods, there will probably be intervals in which nothing specific occurs to you. Do not strain to think up specific things to fill the interval, but merely relax and repeat today’s idea slowly until something occurs to you. Although nothing that does occur should be omitted from the exercises, nothing should be “dug out” with effort. Neither force nor discrimination should be used.

 As often as possible during the day, pick up a specific attribute or attributes you are ascribing to yourself at the time and apply the idea for today to them, adding the idea in the form stated above to each of them. If nothing particular occurs to you, merely repeat the idea to yourself, with closed eyes. 

Journal

I so love the holiness lessons. They make my heart sing! This is because I know that I am holy and I know that one day I will know only that. Right now, I know I am holy and from the split mind I believe I am less than that. But even though the split mind believes it is the body in a world of separation, and even though I seem to exist as that, and even though I get lost in one story or another temporarily, I never forget that I am very holy. Part of my mind never forgets and I am in touch with that part.

“2 You will believe that you are part of where you think you are. That is because you surround yourself with the environment you want. And you want it to protect the image of yourself that you have made. The image is part of this environment. What you see while you believe you are in it is seen through the eyes of the image. This is not vision. Images cannot see.”

The split mind that we call ego made an image to represent itself and this image is in the split mind as the world, our bodies, and our personalities. The bodies were given eyes to see what it needed to see in order to protect the image it made of itself. So we use an image (the eyes of a body) to prove to us that images exist. I exist, but the image made in order to experience separation does not.

It’s all a matter of identity. Do I choose to identify with the body, in which case I see myself in a world that doesn’t exist? Or do I identify with my holy mind, in which case I see myself as the Divine Being that I am, forever perfect, forever formless. Even in this illusion, I can identify with my true self and can live in the world without being of the world.

Here is a way that I chose to be in the world but not of it, that is to identify with my holiness rather than with my ego.  Yesterday, I became worried about a problem I was having with my phone. Lots of worry thoughts came into my mind about how inconvenient this was going to be and how much trouble and time it would take to get it straightened out.

Then I realized that these were just thoughts. Thoughts are meaningless unless I pay attention to them and choose to believe them. These thoughts were upsetting because I paid attention to them, so decided to ignore them.

I let helpful ideas take their place and everything worked out just fine. If I had listened to these worry thoughts things would have eventually worked out but I would have had a very unpleasant experience while it did. I’ve learned to question my thoughts. My first response is to remind myself that it’s just a thought. I’m free to ignore it.

If I was simply living in the world and believing I was part of this world experience and that was all I was, the story yesterday would have played out quite differently. But I don’t do that anymore. The ego thoughts and the things happening around me still distract me, but I also know what I am and I know that my mind is very holy. Using my holy mind, worries fall away and solutions become obvious.

Past Entries

I wonder if anyone just starting this path, doing this lesson for the first time believes this lesson or even understands it. The implication of the lesson is astounding. This year I have a new understanding and I am far more willing to accept it than I ever have been before. My heart is filled with gratitude for this.

The self I experience is just an image I have made. The body, the personality, all of what I think of as Myron is an image, not something real. Jesus makes it clear to my mind that he does not mean this metaphorically when he says that I cannot really see the world because I am looking through the eyes of the image of a body I made, and images cannot see.

Having established that I made an image of a body/personality, I see that I then made an image of an environment that was made to protect the image of the self I made. How perfect this plan to experience a separate self, something completely impossible, and yet accomplished, if not in reality then at least in experience! So I asked myself what this looks like for me? What was my desire and how did I accomplish it?

From looking at my life with the advantage of years of experience, I see that I wanted to see myself as if I could be a victim, filled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear. I also wanted to see myself as a person determined to overcome, someone who would keep moving right through her terror, even when she was nearly overwhelmed with guilt and self-loathing.

I look back at my life and I see the images that make up the environment I made to protect this self. Early on, when still a child, I had many experiences of victimhood that taught me to see all situations from the viewpoint that I am a victim. My father was an alcoholic and probably bipolar as well. My mother had made an image of herself that had many of the same attributes I had chosen so she modeled that for me and reinforced those choices in my mind.

I experienced molestation and poverty as a child, as well as constant instability in the family environment. All these situations helped establish and protect my desire to see myself as a victim with low self-esteem, going through life in fear of what could and probably would happen next. Once the theme was firmly established it continued to play out with many experiences that reinforced it.

I also had a mother who protected her children with the ferocity of a mother bear, and who instilled a sense of grandiosity that helped to balance the sense of worthlessness. She also modeled what it looks like to move steadily through adversity with determination and with pride, which though threatened, remained intact. She proved we could overcome if we just kept going and believed in our innate ability to do so. I got it all set up to have the desired experience.

My life was filled with experiences that continued to fulfill the original intent, and if seen with detachment as if it were a movie, it would be a pretty interesting one. Interesting, that is, if you enjoy lots of drama and emotional moments in your movies. I am learning to see this life as if it is, indeed, a movie because that is closer to the truth than believing it is real. I can see how important it was that I have my own little story if believing in separation and specialness is my goal. As long as that remains my goal, I will continue to pump out more proof I am different than and more special in both good and bad ways than others. But I have changed my mind about that.

A Course in Miracles has convinced me that all of this, all of the life of Myron is really just a pretty good (or maybe bad, with all its melodrama) movie and that I am not Myron in any real sense. Today I am reminded of what I really am. I am part of God. I am very holy. As I have allowed my mind to be healed of the belief in separation, I have begun to embrace this reality, this self that exists as part of God, that lives in God, that is very holy. How different will be the images that I make as this new true vision of myself continues to unfold.

This is not something that can be accomplished through the thinking mind. Yes, the Holy Spirit works to heal the mind on my behalf and this makes it possible for me to accept the emergence of the memories of reality. But accepting my true identity seems to be a function of my heart. The healing of the mind convinces me I want to remember, but the desire that awakens is a function of the heart.

2 thoughts on “Lesson 35

  1. I’m going to work on this all day today but my morning thoughts were, as I read Myron’s journaling describing how our life is more like a movie, I felt resistance. I felt a tug on how I wanted my life to be more special than oneness. I saw that I still want to be an individual even though I say I don’t. I “believe” the metaphor that we are part of a movie and that we created the movie. I wonder now if I’m ready to give up my specialness though. Your life story is very similar to mine Myron. Your reaction and your mothers reaction was very similar to my mother and myself. Isn’t that interesting? We could work on the same movie set together directing, writing and playing the parts but we can also write the ending the way choose to see it. That’s the beauty of this course. Today’s lesson helps us pierce that veil of images that make up my special individuality. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping me catch a glimpse of my resistance and my desire for specialness. Thank you Myron for you wonderful sharing. 🙂

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