Lesson 256
God is the only goal I have today.
The way to God is through forgiveness here. There is no other way. If sin had not been cherished by the mind, what need would there have been to find the way to where you are? Who would still be uncertain? Who could be unsure of who he is? And who would yet remain asleep, in heavy clouds of doubt about the holiness of him whom God created sinless? Here we can but dream. But we can dream we have forgiven him in whom all sin remains impossible, and it is this we choose to dream today. God is our goal; forgiveness is the means by which our minds return to Him at last.
And so, our Father, would we come to You in Your appointed way. We have no goal except to hear Your Voice, and find the way Your sacred Word has pointed out to us.
Journal
I guess this is pretty clear. If we are here, we need to forgive. It is the only way we are going to awaken. Jesus says there is no other way. He didn’t say forgiveness is one way, but that it is the only way. To forgive as he intends us to understand forgiveness, we undo the ego. When I was feeling resentful toward my friend, I knew I had to forgive that. I didn’t say I forgive her for imposing on me. That would be making her guilty first, then pardoning her sin and is not the same thing as forgiveness.
What I had to do was to recognize that I had projected guilt onto her and then I had to withdraw that guilt and forgive the idea that anyone ever could be guilty. I know that the ego-self in all of us is guilty but we are not that. We are not our ego. And the ego is not real, so why would I want to correct it? Why would I want to blame the ego for being the ego? Why do I care what is done as ego when the ego is only imagination, a hallucination? It’s like holding a grudge against a fictional character in my favorite novel.
I want to say that I cannot imagine holding a grievance against anyone, but sweeping statements like that are hardly ever true. If I had no grievances at all, I would probably be awake. That was how Cate woke up. She gave up all grievances. Actually, she said that since there is a passage in the Course that says one person completely forgiven is all it takes to wake up, so she chose the individual in her life who was hardest for her to forgive and forgave him completely. For myself, I have thus far, forgiven each person and situation as it came into my mind. I remain open and receptive to instructions to do this differently.
Jesus is there anything you want me to do? Anyone I haven’t completely forgiven?
PS: As it turns out this is an excellent way to awaken.
Regina’s Tips
As we read our special theme today, let’s replace the word sin with “ignorance.” In this case, “ignorance” is defined as ignoring the truth.
For example, “Ignorance is insanity.” Or, “Ignoring the truth is insanity. It is the means by which the mind is driven mad, and seeks to let illusions take the place of truth.”
Let’s read the special theme again. This time, replace the word “sin” with “outward focus.”
For example, “Outward focus gave the body eyes, …” and “Outward focus is the home of all illusions, which but stand for things imagined, issuing from thoughts that are untrue.”
My Thoughts
Any time I think anyone is guilty, including myself, it is because I am ignoring the truth with an outward focus. When I have a memory of something I did in the world that I regret, that is an outward focus ignoring the truth that I am not the body, nor the person that has done this. I am the watcher, the observer and what I did was part of my script to help me become aware of beliefs that are tethering me to the world. I can then release the belief I am guilty for the behavior.
Regina’s Tips on the lesson
It’s important to look at all of these alternative terms, because “sin” typically implies guilt to most people. It reinforces the false idea that something is inherently wrong with me, which reinforces the idea of separation.
However, as we consider alternative terms, we see that there is a habit that has been formed. It is the habit of ignoring our true Self, focusing outward, and believing our thoughts’ judgments regarding everything the body senses. We also see that the body, as the sensing organ, reinforces this habit of looking outward, a habit that has been cherished by the mind.
When we see the problem clearly, we can also see the solution.
If ignoring the truth, focusing outward and believing the mind’s judgments is the problem, then paying attention to truth, focusing inward and ignoring the mind’s judgments is the solution.
Said another way, awareness-watching-awareness meditation, surrendering to intuition and the Loving All Method are the solutions to insanity.
My Thoughts
I notice that I have been using two methods. First, I have learned what forgiveness really is and have been applying true forgiveness as grievances come to mind. I have been doing that for a long time now and I readily choose forgiveness having experienced peace from doing so.
The second method is one I haven’t used for very long and that is to focus on my Self through meditation. This is helping as well. I think what I do is probably close to awareness-watching-awareness that Regina teaches. I surrender to intuition and I am learning to love everything as well. The Course teaches that everything is in my best interests so the Loving All Method is just a more focused practice of that teaching.
Past Entries
What is my goal today?
The same as yesterday. Today, I will forgive. I will look at whatever thought might come across my mind that causes me the least discomfort, and I will forgive it. Yesterday, I said something to my daughter that caused her to feel anxious. It was not deliberate, but it happened. She could have taken it differently and it wouldn’t have affected her, but she took it the way she did.
What I noticed is that her discomfort made me anxious. I noticed the feeling right away. It was guilt and fear. I felt guilty for upsetting her, even in this little way. I felt fearful because I did not want to damage that special relationship. I saw all of that very quickly. And just as quickly, I realized this was the ego perception of the situation and I was not interested. I was not interested in the specialness, the guilt, or the fear.
I told the Holy Spirit that I have no use for this and asked Him to remove that thinking from my mind. This is what forgiveness looked like in this situation. It was my goal and I achieved it. A moment that could have turned into a big deal just faded away. My mind returned to the peaceful place it had been in before. I look forward to another day of peace, another day of choosing only the Voice for God.
Forgiveness is the acknowledgment that there is nothing to forgive.
Once I was in the throes of an ego storm and for just a moment my awareness was not in the body but watching the body. I was very aware of Myron at war with… well, with herself, really. I saw her fear and was aware of her decision to be in this situation. It lasted only for a minute or two, but I was “above the battleground” long enough to make a real impression on me. Since that experience, I haven’t had as much trouble accepting that I am not this body.
It helped me to make another decision and to see differently. And no matter what seems to be going on, who is doing what to me, the truth remains unaffected and I am not guilty of anything, nor is anyone else. We cannot be guilty, ever. I am not really forgiving myself for something I did but forgiving the thought that I could be guilty. We, the Sons of God are innocent, just as we were created.
Surrender
Yesterday, I practiced stepping back and being guided. I experienced this as full surrender. Here I am, God. I belong to You. He gave me a thought of something I have held onto because I was afraid of letting it go. I sat with this until I felt the fear melt away and my surrender went deeper than it ever has before. Once again during the day, I had a chance to decide if I am fully committed to surrender, and though I said I was, I had to look at the stubborn desire to make decisions on my own and to do that over and over until I finally let it go to God. I think of it this way. I can keep up this fruitless attempt to control the world around me, or I can ask the Holy Spirit to make all decisions for me and let Love take care of everything. It is taking some practice on my part to master this decision, but I will.