Lesson 219
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
(199) I am not a body. I am free. I am God’s Son. Be still, my mind, and think a moment upon this. And then return to earth, without confusion as to what my Father loves forever as His Son.
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
Review
I had to smile when I read this. Think a moment upon this and then return to earth. This would be a very short meditation, I suppose. Actually, what a good idea. Think for a moment during the day and do that over and over. Many small moments of being in touch with my Self, of being in gratitude that I am still as God created me.
It makes me happy when I think of this. Happy is one word, but maybe not fully expressive of my feelings when I remember that I am not this body/personality. I am something glorious, something that God created. My heart opens and …well, I can’t think of a word that describes how I feel. It does make me want to spend more time in meditation getting to know my real Self.
The other part of coming to know my real Self is letting go of the beliefs that make up the body/personality self. The following is something from an entry in my journal a few years ago.
It is so easy to forget who I am. We have done a really excellent job of making a world of distractions, of making separation and making all of it seem very real and very important. The body was really a stroke of genius if feeling separate and alone and completely different from God is your goal. And certainly, that was the goal. So in a sense, I see that I did a good job. I set out to make a world where I could pretend to be what I am not. It was for fun, but then I got lost in the play and forgot that I am the Son of God. I forgot that I am pure Spirit and not really a body at all. I made a detour into fear and guilt.
So now I must make another decision, one which reverses the original. I must decide that I want to remember the truth of who I am. To do this I must be very vigilant of my thoughts so that I can allow them to be corrected. I support myself in this by reading helpful books, listening to CD’s from various teachers, meditating, and staying in touch with my mighty companions. It really takes a lot of vigilance, though, and I still get pulled back into ego sometimes.
This used to scare me because I thought it meant I could not follow this path. I thought I was too far gone or something. I don’t even know what I thought, only that I was in danger of being forever lost because I could not stay on the path. Now I have no fear of failing. That is just not possible. I do get frustrated with myself at times, but when I feel like that, I know what to do about it.
I understand now that this is just more ego thoughts coming up for healing. I am grateful that I see them and know what to do with them. I certainly don’t want them to stay buried where they cannot be healed. I am willing to look at them and to allow them to be corrected. This is my purpose: to weed the garden of my mind, pulling out the weeds of ego thinking.
The Love of God will flow forth without my help if I just make the way clear for it. It flows anyway; I just have no awareness of it when my focus is on fear thoughts. As I write this, the thought comes to me that I could no more stop the flow of God than I could stop the earth from spinning on its axis or the sun from shining. Thank God for that. The thought comes to me that failure is not in any way possible. I cannot fail to be what I am.
I am God’s Son. What an incredible thought! I am God’s Son. When I think about it I want to cry from relief and joy. The nightmare is not true. Nothing has changed. I am His Son after all. Thank you, God! Thank you for the Holy Spirit who gently guides me home. Thank you for Jesus who showed me how to live on earth and still be aware of the truth. Thank you for all the Teachers and Guides who help and direct me.
Thank you for my brothers who offer me opportunity after opportunity for healing. I can hardly believe that sometimes I think they are my enemy and that I must defend against them. They are God’s Son as am I. My heart overflows with love and gratitude this morning as I remember that I am not a body after all; I am God’s Son.
My Friend Was Suffering
I saw someone I love very much suffering yesterday and I was there for her. I wasn’t in my own suffering, afraid for her, uncertain what to say. I was just there for her. It reminds me of what Byron Katie says; it’s not my turn to suffer. It wasn’t my turn, and because it wasn’t my turn, and I knew it wasn’t my turn, I was able to be there, fully, without any thought for my own fear or needs. I was grateful for that.
Later, I could feel ego tugging at me, trying to get my attention, insistent that this is bad but will certainly get worse, and I needed to react. I feel that tug but thus far I have not responded. I look at her and I think, “This is not God’s Will. This need not be.”
How can it change? What can be done? What should I say? These are all ego questions designed to keep me in a never-ending, no way out, story. Nothing real can be threatened. This dear person feels threatened but there is nothing real happening here.
I don’t know what twists and turns her story will take, and I don’t know how God’s Will can be done in this situation, and thank God, it is not my part to figure this out. My part is to know that God wants only our happiness and that my friend is very holy and so am I and there is nothing our holiness cannot do. The “how” of it will be taken care of. I just do what I can. I love her and I envelop her in holiness.
God, where did this calm and certainty come from? Never mind, just, thank you.
Regina’s Tips
You are awareness-life-presence. Anything else that you identify with is a temporary experience and nothing more. This is what is forgotten. And this is what is realized to the core of one’s being at awakening. It is “a recognition, not a change at all.” (From Lesson 188)
This is why we put emphasis on awareness-watching-awareness in the Gentle Healing Group. By consistently looking toward our Self, we are bound to remember the truth of what we are.
During awareness-watching-awareness meditation, whenever I notice my attention has gone to thought, I ask, “To whom does this thought arise?” That inquiry is a tool I use to turn my attention from thought and toward awareness. However, in the last couple of weeks something else has started to happen.
When I ask, “To whom does this arise,” I spontaneously see the identification that attracts the thought. It might be identification as teacher, as mother, as a responsible person, as a busy person, or some other identification, but I see clearly that the thoughts are coming because of the identification.
I find this helpful. It provides the opportunity to deny the false identification and then immediately look to awareness and recognize the undeniable true Self, that which is present, non-changing and continuous as my Self.